Monday, January 31, 2011

Baby Ammar Zihni

Huda's baby

Aunty Idza (or as Huda would call me Hajar.. one of the few people apart from close family who calls me Hajar hehehe) loves..loves ...loves you!!!!

Selamat tak tidur malam Huda!!!

Friday, January 28, 2011

Chambi oh Chambi

Hish, there is supposed to be an 'e' at the end of each word up there.

You know what they stand for?

Chambie - Chambering Students

Why oh why? Because they made me lose my temper...this is Idza ok? To my unimates, have you ever seen me lose my temper throughout 5 years of law school and 1 year of honors? Even once?

To my chambiemates in SD, have you ever seen me lose my temper throughout my 9 months of chambering?

How bad was it sampai ME, can lose my temper and throw a freaking fit? It was bad. I tell you. I am being bulied, bullied by these kids....

Instance 1

Me : Can you prepare the notes of evidence for this one day of trial? I will do the other 2 days
Chambi: I can't do it because I am doing work for Partner X, Partner Y, Partner Z

Me: I understand that but I need you to do it, its just for 1 day, I will do the other 2 days
Chambi: Owwwh, I can't promise you

And then I am like (Huh, I can't promise you? Is this a date? Are we in a relationship?)

Me: Can you please do it?
Chambi: Can you get someone else to do it? There are new chambering students today.

Me: But you attended the trial?
Chambi: I really can't do it

Me: ???????

Instance 2

Me: Where are my Notes?
Chambi: I don't know

Me: Ok, Who is doing what?
Chambi: I don't know, I am doing 1 clip, I do not know who is doing the rest

Me: Huh? I gave you a whole cd, why can't you just do the whole cd?
Chambi: Owwwh, we have all been transferred to the *&^$^) department, I have a lot of (*&(*^&%$ work

Me: ??????? (does that answer my question?)


And the list goes on ad infinitum...

1. Does not revert with work given at the deadline specified;

2. Dahla tu, tak revert lepastu tak dtg jumpa kata tak dapat revert and ask to be given more time;

3. Dahla tu, kita pulak kena kejar diorg cari sebab nak tanya apa jadi dengan kerja kita;

4. Amboi, kul 6.30 dah balik nampak, dahtu amende yang ko sibuk sgt tu?

5. The rudeness, the lackadaisical attitude...

Macammana aku tak marah, tell me? And it is not just me, I have not even started on the nightmares others have been through when it comes to these little monsters.

And  I think to myself, I chambered not so long ago and never would it cross my mind to pull these stunts off because:-

No.1 - I am interested in learning

No. 2 - I would know that learning is never an easy process

No.3 - My parents thought that rudeness is not an acceptable form of behavior to anybody

I had a chat in Court today and apparently most of my friends from other firms are also suffering from this as well.

What is going on?

What is happening to our younger generation? And yes, at the rate these monsters are acting and the difference during the time when I chambered, I must be very old indeed.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Best Friends, heart and soul

I have only ever considered 2 people as my best friends. Sam (I am still searching for her) and Huda.

Huda I still keep in contact with.

We don't fit in the category of what  'best friends' are.

We don't hang out very often. Since I got married, we met each other less and less, when she got married, even less. But it does not affect us. Have you gotten that mass e-mail about where when you don't speak to a friend for a week, and then a month and then a year and you find that you have less and less to talk about? Our distance, never affects us. I can drop from her radar and she can drop from mine for like months and months and when we do have the time for a chat, we speak for hours about everything, no awkwardness due to the lapse of time, no shyness..nothing. It's as if we never stopped speaking during those months.

We understand that by getting married, we have responsibilities to our husbands and family and they always come first, I do not pressure her to make time for me or put me first and she does not either. There is no pressure  to commit. She is in my mind and I am in hers... we never get 'terasa' with each other, because there are no sky high expectations about one should do for the other and there is no doubt about the bond that we share. We do what we can when we can.

When I got serious with Aries, I took him to see her first. She saw him and met him before my parents ever did. Why? because her approval of him was important to me. I remember asking her "ko rasa dia ikhlas tak?". And she says "Ntah, tapi dia nampak macam serius, ko bagilah peluang dekat dia". So I did.

When I got engaged in Sg Siput, she was with me all the way. Saw Aries' mom put on the engagement ring on my finger. She fixed my tudung, helped me tidy my grandma's house. When I got married, she was by my side throughout. She sat behind me during my nikah day. Slept with me the night before the wedding. Walked by my side to my pelamin. When I got pregnant, Huda went with me for my first ever checkup at the Klinik Kesihatan. She was there when Aries was not.

When she wanted to get engaged, I was the first person she told. Same as when she wanted to get married. When she went under the radar for 3 months, I knew in my heart she got herself preggers, hehehe. And then tetiba dia on handphone, preggy confirmed!!! hehehe

Why am I writing about this? Because she gave birth to a wonderful baby boy weighing 2.75 kg on Tuesday morning. When she was in labor, I was the first person she called in the afternoon of Sunday. She is not the healthiest of people. So her pregnancy was risky. I got worried. But I did not want to go there to the hospital all whiny and crying. I would be of no help right. So we sms each other all day. Night came and her labour did not progress. I was so worried I could not sleep. I ended up sleeping at 3.30 am. First thing I did when I woke up was sms her, only 1 cm dilated. She was going to be induced... so by the evening dah start sakit. And then night-time, I lost touch already. I smsed and called and got so worried sampai Aries cakap "Buat apa nak risau, biarlah husband dia risau". I told Aries "I have known Huda longer than her husband knows her, and she has known me a lot longer than you have".

The next morning her hubby smsed me saying she had a ceasar, and the first chance she got, she mmsed baby's pic!!!! So cute!!!

I still have not visited her at the hospital. Am thinking of what to buy. Will visit her tomorrow.

Don't you see? I love her. She knows that. And that is what matters.

If you have a friend like this in your life, know that this is what  a 'best friend' is. Someone that will walk beside you in the darkest of your times to hold your hand and guide you through it, but chooses to walk behind you when there is light to let you enjoy the most of it.

May Allah bless our friendship.

Heart and soul.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Online Shopping Episode 1 2011 & Vacation headaches

Lets just let the pics do the talking

Bought the one in the below pic at LadiesFashon, address as per in the pic. Love their clothes!!

 Pants for the lil one, bought this from BabyHaus

 Court Attire fabric from E-amnibiz

 Bought dress above from LadiesFashion as well

And the top pic from LadiesFashion as well 

And this one too!!! (can you tell how much I love their clothes already? hehe)

Am currently surveying where to go for vaccay in perhaps October or December this year.  Any ideas guys? Narrowing it down to:-

  1. Krabi;
  2. Bali;
  3. Koh Samui;
  4. Gold Coast;
  5. Paris; and
  6. Christchurch.
Trouble is, if I go in December, the cold places are out... it will be super cold. Am afraid of Airiel's lung thing issue. Aries also hates cold places, he loves islands, beaches instead...

Also imagining a crazy freaky schedule at the same time:-

  • Weekie at kuantan this 29th with Bonda, Nenda, Atuk n Maksu;
  • And then off to in laws on 1st;
  • Trip to Pulau Perhentian on CNY with inlaws fam; and 
  • Trial on 7th Feb for the rest of the week onwards.


Friday, January 21, 2011

Makan -makan Thaipusam

Yesterday was a holiday, spent the day with Airiel for most part but squeezed time to also...

Watch the Tourist

I was reluctant to watch the movie after the less than flattering reviews I have read, but since that is the only movie that was available during Airiel's naptime, tgk jelah. Verdict? It was not really that bad of a movie. The storyline was ok, there was some interesting moments, its just that I think when you pair 2 really great actors on screen, people would expect so much more out of everything and an ok just does not cut it for someone of the likes of Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp. 

Buy some PS3 games

Those close to me would know how much of an RPG gamer I am. Aries is quite the gamer addict himself (1st person shooter games, racing games and God of War kinda), although that obsession has somewhat subsided after he started playing golf.

I bought FFXIII when it first came out but never got around to playing it because at the time, there were no English subtitles or voice overs, only japanese ones. Yesterday we went to Gamer's Hideout and got 2 new games, my coveted FFXIII in English and Battlefied:Bad Company 2. Just started playing my FFXIII and I know I will take a while to finish, sebab nak main pon kena ikut time Airiel tido. Well, let's see.

Makan-makan yummy

Hehe, we went to Kampung Baru to our fave place, Restoran LaLa...sedap tak terkira!!! Biar gambar menjelaskan yummy itu:-

Muka skandal pada malam itu... 

Teh O Ais and Asamboi panas 

Kerabu Kaki Ayam 

Ayam Goreng Petai 

Telur Dadar 

Brokoli Sos Tiram 

Sambal yg sangat mantap!!! 

Sotong Stim Asam Limau...

Berapa kilo naik sebab makan semua itu pukul 11 malam? Tak mahu kira buat masa ni huhu...

Try Machos Nachos A & W

This is A &W's new dish.. I somehow do not think it was real nachos from the looks of it and the sauce is actually just their topping for their coney dog. So ok ok jerla..

How did you guys enjoy your Thaipusam hol? hehe

Selamat hujung minggu readers!


Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Depressed DAY

Oh, I know its a holiday tomorrow and that should put me in a good mood, but I am depressed.

There was some events yesterday that really made me sad sampai nangis and takleh tido so that did not help. Although rasa mcm dah clear the air, tapi still rasa macam sedih. Sigh

I was in a full day trial today and the trial has been going on since last year, and so the Judge was asking this one counsel "how many issues do you have to cover?". And the counsel says "I go by topics Mr Lord" and so the Judge asks "What topic are you at now?". He answers, "I am at topic 7 my Lord". And so the Judge asks "How many topics do you have?" And he says "I have 42 topics my Lord". Jeng jeng jeng....Depressingnye, from the looks of it, we will only finish by Christmas...and when I mean Christmas, it might not even be this Christmas, 5 years time maybe? Aduyai...

And then when we reconvened after lunch, takde chambie plak bleh amik notes of evidence, bila try tanya diorang ckp "Sorry, I am busy"... Sigh, how can you be more busy than I am, may I ask? Lalu rasa depressed sebab dulu when I was chambering, I would never dare say such a thing if someone asks me to do a piece of work. Depressed sebab masa dan generasi telah berubah. Depressed because I realised I am getting old.

And then rasa depressed sebab tgh hari masa lunch Aries call and he was already at home playing with my Airiel, while I am slaving away...rasa jeles kan so terus rasa depressed.

And then rasa depressed sebab nampak org perempuan cantik yang sangat tinggi kat court pastu pakai high heels lalu sebelah, Oh perluke tayang ketinggian dirimu kepadaku? Perluke pakai high heels lagi pulak tu? Tak pasal-pasal terasa dekat orang yang telah diberi kurniaan Tuhan itu. Macamlah dia lahir-lahir mintak tinggi macamtu betul tak? Kenapa perlu cemburu tak tentu pasal? Lalu rasa depressed lagi sebab perempuan cantik tinggi tu lalu sebelah, bertambah depressed sebab rasa bersalah cemburu dekat dia.

And then bila sampai opis, depressed pulak bila nak balik sebab tengok jalan jem merata-rata. Bila nak sampai rumah tgk suami tercinta dan anak tersayang ni? Depressed lagi sebab banyak masa terbazir dekat atas jalan raya instead of spending time with the loved ones

Rasa depressed sebab nenda dapat pergi conference ke Penang sampai Isnin, bestla dia dapat kerja sambil melancong kan? Dapat makan nasi kandar, dapat peluk peluk dengan atuk, dapat jalan tepi pantai, dengar bunyi ombak. Depressed sebab masa tak mengizinkan

Rasa depressed sebab rindu dekat Huda, tapi malu dan malas nak kacau Huda sebab dia preggy and penat. Malulah nak ajak dia jalan jalan shopping sebab tahu dia penat jalan sebab perut semakin besar, nak ajak mani pedi rasa macam dia mesti tak mahu sebab Huda ni lain skit. Rasa depressed sebab tak dapat spend masa kualiti dengan kawan yang sangat disayangi.

Rasa depressed fikirkan krisis rumahtangga yang melanda diri suatu masa dahulu. I know moving on is the way to go, and diri ini masih dalam proses untuk melakukannya. Terima kasih Aries kerana sabar dengan isterimu ini, but healing is a time consuming process.

Ish, kenapa hati manusia susah melafazkan syukur? Should I not be thankful kerana walau ada kerja yang susah, tapi dibayar gaji setimpal usaha, bonus yang lumayan dan mempunyai bos yang baik?

Why am I not thankful that the misunderstanding yesterday has hopefully been cleared up and that is the end of the matter? Why lament on the what ifs?

Why am I not thankful for the trial that will go on a lot longer than anticipated when I can learn so much from it?

Why am I not thankful that despite not having chambies to help me, I have a wonderful secretary and colleague who is reliable and dependable?

Kenapa tidak pula bersyukur dengan Tuhan sebab walau tersekat dalam jem, masih ada kereta instead of perlu bersesak-sesak naik bas, MRT, LRT macam org lain? Masih dapat dengar lagu Maher Zain sepanjang jalan right?

Kenapa tidak bersyukur that at least one parent get to spend more time with Airiel as opposed to both of us being absent and busy with work all the time?

Why am I not thankful that although I am not tall, or strikingly pretty, diri ini sempurna anggota dan akal fikiran?

Kenapa tidak bersyukur yang Huda sekarang ini bahagia sebab akan ada cahaya mata yang bermaksud Airiel akan dapat kawan?

Kenapa tidak bersyukur yang suami kini berada di sisi dan berusaha memperbaiki perhubungan?

Diri ini beristighfar dan beristighfar kembali.

Semoga Allah mengampunkan hambaNya ini kerana lupa akan kurniaan yang diberi.

Imam With Guts

Got this in my e-mail. Thought I'd share it.


Thought you might enjoy this interesting Prayer given in Kansas at the opening session of their Senate. It seems Prayer still upsets some People. When Minister Joe Wright was asked to open the new session of the Kansas Senate, everyone was expecting the usual generalities, but this is what they heard:  

Almighty Allah, we come before you today to ask Your forgiveness and to seek your direction and Guidance. 

We know Your Word says, 'Woe to those who call evil good,' but that is exactly what we Have done.  

We have lost our spiritual equilibrium and reversed our values. 

We have exploited the poor and called it the lottery.  

We have rewarded laziness and called it Welfare. 

We have killed our unborn and called it Choice.  

We have shot abortionists and called it Justifiable.  

We have neglected to discipline our Children and called it building self esteem... 

We have abused power and called it Politics.  

We have coveted our neighbor's possessions and called it ambition.  

We have polluted the air with profanity and Pornography and called it freedom of expression.  

We have ridiculed the time-honored values of our forefathers and called it enlightenment.  

Search us, and know our hearts today; cleanse us from every sin and set us free.  Amin!  

The response was immediate. A number of Legislators walked out during the prayer in Protest. In 6 short weeks, Central Mosque where the Immam was serving logged more than 5,000 phone calls with only 47 of those calls responding negatively. The Mosque is now receiving International requests for copies of this prayer From India , Africa and Korea.
Commentator Paul Harvey aired this prayer on His radio program, 'The Rest of the Story, ‘and received a larger response to this program than any other he has ever aired..  

With the Lord's help, may this prayer sweep over our nation and wholeheartedly become our Desire so that we again can be called 'one nation Under God.'  

If possible, please pass this prayer on to your friends. 'If you don't stand for something, you will fall for everything.' 

Think about this: If you forward this Prayer to everyone on your E-mail list, in less than 30 days it would be heard by the world. 

How many people in your address book will  Not receive this you have the guts to pass it on?   

Rasa malu plak baca, because I know I am guilty of some of what was said. Malu, malu malu...

BTW, something happened to me yesterday that has really disturbed me and really got me thinking about 'friendship' and 'friends'.

Will blog about it later.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Makan yum yum

Haven't blogged about eating escapades for quite a while now.

On Saturday, teman Aries main golf and then before meeting up with my girls, teman Aries makan dekat Sunway Giza, some new mall or something. The place was called Madam Lims.

Watermelon Jumbo and Chinese Tea 

Aries punya Ginger Beef Kuetiow 

XL Omelette 

 My tofu with minced chicken set

My set came with veggie 

Aries' shaved mango ice dessert

Prices are quite reasonable.

Come la tryyyyy..!

Monday, January 17, 2011

Missing a brain

This is not a blog about politics, although some posts might indicate that I do view our country's political events with a huge sense of alarm (need I elaborate on why for God's sake?). I mean, these days:-
  • I cry when I buy onions instead of when I am cutting them (RM7 to RM22 per kilo, a bit steep don't you think?);
  • I feel faint (not in a good, giddy sense mind you) everytime I want to fill petrol in Stevie, I don't freaking care if someone gets pissed off about me complaining about the price rise and then say, I should go freaking go overseas (which I have pun) to understand why I shouldn't complain. I work hard for every dime I make (which is all taxable on top of that mind you), and if I have to complain about spending so much on oil, I'll complain about it and you can continue to fume for absolutely no reason (unless you are not paying for your oil), thank you very much;
  • I just want to look away when I read the papers every day. Why la everybody has to fight, the Chinese are angry with the Malays and Indians, the Indians are angry at the Malays and Chinese and the Malays are angry ... well ... at everybody else. Why? Why can't we just bloody well get along? I have a close knit group of friends who consists of all these races and we are FINE!! We actually love each other to bits!! So why la? why?
  • And while all of this ruckus have just been turned into a political hogwash, what about serious, real issues that are plaguing this country? you know, like the hardcore poor? allocations for the handicap? children who are abused, raped and killed? the decline in morals of our teens? (or older men and women who are apparently going through some kind of mid-life crisis), the rising suicide rate? the rising insanity rate? 
This is not a blog that was created to admonish anybody, although some posts have been bluntly directed to people who think they are:-
  •  'legally trained' while not knowing the requirements of a 'defamatory statement';
  • going to heaven for shitting/preaching on me and my views on how I live 'my life' no less while we know they spend every pathetic weekend at werners (no offence to anyone in particular reading this blog who does go there and who does not preach to me, you're off the hook) getting wasted. The best Muslim out there I bet you are;
  • who thinks females should be seen and boinked and not heard (slap you); and
  • handicapped insensitive people who should have their legs cut off to make them get it.
I once scolded a grown up man who parked at a handicap spot. This is what I said

Me      :    "Mr, unless you are missing a foot or arm, you should not be parking here"
Man    :    "I still want to park here, what's your problem"
Me     :     "You are the problem, people like you. You might not be missing an arm or foot, but you sure as 
                 hell are missing a brain. If you ever have a daughter who is handicapped, I am sure you will be the 
                 one doing the scolding right now"
Man    :    "How dare you curse me ahhhhh"
Me      :    "Damn right, and you sure deserve it"

And that is why this is the title of my post. Because I think people these days are lacking common sense, tolerance and downright logic.

Mulut terlopong

Aduyai... aduyai

I came across pics of the stars on the Red Carpet at the Golden Globes...there was one star who always managed to take my breath away...

May I present to you....Christina Hendricks!!!

 Dunno which year but dammmnnnnn

 Aduyai...bisa kasi gugur jantung

 look at that creamy porcelain skin!!!


 This made go 'WHAT!!!' (mulut terlopong ok?) pengsan. Look at the cleavage..pengsan lagi

At the recent Golden Globes

She is one hot, stylish curvy lady!!! 

As Vedder would say "Grrrrrr...gigit!!"


Friday, January 14, 2011

Cat in the hood

Yesterday, when I started my car at the office to go home, I heard a 'meow'.

As I was driving inside the car park...the meows persisted. At first I thought it was from car park compund I stopped and tried to look for the cat...the meows stopped. So I paid my car ticket and exited. The meows started again!

I panicked and stopped my car at the Duta Shell petrol station. I was like calling out to all the abang and kakak and adik "please help me, I think a cat is stuck under my car". You think that people would just ignore me right? But I was surprised by their reaction. I think a total of 10 people stopped their cars, motorcyles and vans to help me find the cat. We heard its persistent meows and looked high and low...tapi after about 30 minutes, still couldn't locate the cat.

And then one abang said, "why don't you drive very slowly to your house and take to a workshop near your house. They can raise the car and look for the cat". So with scores of people waving (a lot joined in the search afterwards) and escorting me (which was touching and embarassing actually), I drove off. The cat meowed like crazy while I was driving. I was scared I hurt the cat, and I actually cried in the car and shouted at the cat to hold on.

When I reached home, atuk kebetulan sampai. Now Atuk loves cats so he was desperate to find the cat. We drove the car up our curb so that it was higher and we can see under the car. By this time Aries arrived from his golf session and we continued in the search. When that failed, we called Bonda's favourite mechanic who agreed to wait at his workshop (eventhough the workshop has already closed) and off we went. Atuk pesan awal awal "Bawak balik kucing tu ke rumah".

Apparently it was not under the car, it was tucked away in a small spot at the side of the engine. The cat was in shock but relatively unharmed!!! Alhamdulillah. The mechanic got it out in a jiffy!!

And that is how 'Tayar' (the cat's name) joined our family!!!

It was Allah's will to bring tayar to us, so we are taking care of him. Pics of tayar will be uploaded later. He has not had a bath yet. Baru nak mandikan hari ni.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Disturbed Day

I am disturbed today, yes...

I am disturbed by Lady Gaga's Alejandro video clip. I wish I could ban my son from watching it until he is at least 30, can?

I am disturbed by the fact that Airiel no longer sleeps with me, well not since Aries has been back. I miss kissing his baby soft cheeks late at night while he's sleeping, I miss watching him sleep. I miss him hugging me while I sleep (Airiel always puts his arm around me while he sleeps). I know that its about time he sleeps on his own in his own room but he will always be my baby.

I am disturbed by the fact that the familia would probably have to spend almost a million bucks on renovations for the house, but I know that the renovations are colossal, like building another semi-d house unit to the existing house, swimming pool, library, office, God knows what else....we have so much excess land on the original house which is now a garden with koi ponds which we never use anyways... and have decided to utilise it so that Nenda, Atuk, me,Aries, Bonda and Ayahanda call all live together to take care of Maksu.

I am disturbed by yesterday news that 73 bruises were found on a child who died as a result of abuse from step-mom. I am even more disturbed that the father of the child may play a part in covering up the child's death by saying it was death due to drowning.

I am disturbed by the fact that there are bosses out there who have the heart to conspire with people to stop an employee's salary without giving her a notice of termination. And to actually give her a backdated one much, if that is not unprofessional, I do not know what is.  For every employee that the person has maliciously acted against, let there be a fitting return by Allah. Amin.

I am disturbed by the fact that I have not seen my shearnies for a while now, and I miss them greatly.

I am disturbed by the fact that Huda, my bestie is preggy and I have not seen her since raya last year. I should make more of an effort to see her.

I am disturbed by Bonda's medical condition

And the list can go on and on...

What a day..

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Moment Jiwang

A cold dream
Though it may be against my existence
Though it may hold under this sky the reason for me to live
It is the reality you are breathing
Please do not forget me
The passing memories of this sorrow
With tears I held onto you
But my love I could not give you
Though the world forsakes me
Against me though it turns
Under a different fate let us meet
This I promise you
For this everlasting love
I turn against destiny
Please do not worry about me
The picture I see is already familiar to me
Now I throw away time which cannot be turned back
I will wish for your happiness
Under a different let us meet...

Owwhh...Kim Bum Soo...sungguh indah lagu korea mu...

Sob sob sob...

Ini sebenarnya lagu korea tau...cantik sungguh liriknya..where to find songs like this anymore?

Nak dengar lagu dia? Klik sini


Monday, January 10, 2011

Premium Beautiful - Part 2

Someone sent me an e-mail asking me some questions about my experience with PB. Too shy to openly ask katanya. So here goes.


If there was one comment you would make about PB, what would it be?
Well, first of all I'll make 2 comments instead of 1. No. 1 - It is damn ketat ok? No.2 - It works

Is it true that you fart a lot while wearing PB?
Yes, it is true

Do you wear PB during that time of the month? Is it comfy to do so?
Now I had some reservations on wearing PB during you know what time la kan...but I decided to give it a try and strangely enough, it gave my tummy (or lower portion of it) a very warm comfy feeling..kalau ada sakit senggugut ke ape, it helps with that I think. So I would recommend it.

Do you ever get used to how tight the corset is?
Strangely, yes you do. It's like wearing shoes that kill you. You get used to it after some time. Hehehe

You're cute, are you married?
Errkkk..apa punya soalan ni anonymous? Gambo besor heading blog ni kan tunjuk diriku dipakaikan cincin kahwin itu? But to answer your question anyways. Thanks for saying I'm cute and yes, I am married.

How many kgs and cms have you lost so far?
Errrr...well I know at least a kilo but then I stopped counting. But my jeans and baju definitely fit better. Hmmnnn, maybe I should keep track...tapi malaslah plak.

Don't you get bored after some time?
Well to be honest, I do not wear PB like every day without fail (kena basuh every weekend so weekend tak pakai PB, I wear spanx instead). And when I was on leave these past 2 weeks, I have to be honest and say that I did not wear PB sangat. It depends on you la kan..whether you are really committed to lose weight and re-shape your body or not.

So there you go anonymous (I know the name tapi telah diminta supaya tak di publish). Hope the above helps.


Let's Go

Today marks the first working day for me this year...can you believe it?

I have been on leave for the past 2 weeks ehehehe.

Yelah, setahun sekali je cutilah panjang skit.

Am excited and keje dah berlambak.

But I think these long vacations are quite necessary..sebab it reminds me how I love my job (cheesy I know)!!!

Dengan lafaz bismillah...Let's Go People!!!

Bye bye!!!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Kisah Tragedi Cinta Isteri

The writings below have been reproduced and taken from i love islam. Iktibar buat semua kengkawan yang dah bersuami/beristeri. Semoga kita bersama-sama dapat menjadi pasangan di dunia dan di akhirat.



Dalam episod cinta takdir sering menguji kita. Mengapa aku mendapat suami yang begini? Mengapa dia tidak setia? Bila masalah melanda kita merasakan kitalah yang paling menderita. Mengapa aku yang menerima nasib begini?Kita merasakan kitalah yang paling malang. Hanya mulut mengaku Allah itu Tuhan tetapi mengapa dengan takdir-Nya kita enggan? Semacam terlupa kata peneguhan di dalam al hadis dan Al Quran bahawa besarnya masalah, beratnya ujian dan hebatnya cabaran... berkadar terus dengan kekuatan iman.
Inilah hakikat yang mesti menjadi pegangan dalam menghadapi tragedi cinta di dalam rumah tangga. Tragedi cinta menjadi ujian iman dan tauhid sesetengah kita. Setiap orang ada medan ujiannya masing-masing. Dan untuk isteri yang teruji dengan pasangannya, sematkan di dalam dada... bahawa itulah takdir yang dipilih oleh Allah untuk menguji keimanan kita.
Bukankah sudah diungkapkan oleh sejarah, ada isteri yang baik diuji dengan suami yang jahat seperti Siti Asiah isteri kepada Firaun laknatullah. Bujukan Allah cuma satu, bergembiralah dengan pahala di sebalik ujian itu. Tenanglah dengan jani-janji syurga. Ini bukan 'escapeism' tetapi itulah iman. Yakinlah, bahawa cinta yang lebih besar sedang menguji cinta yang lebih kecil. Cinta Allah sedang menguji cinta kita kepada isteri atau suami.
Dan jika cinta yang kecil itu rapuh, jangan pula cinta yang lebih besar itu roboh. Percayakan janji-janji Allah di akhirat adalah penawar paling mujarab untuk menghadapi keperitan ujian hidup di dunia. Ketika disiksa menjelang kematiannya, Siti Asiah hanya memohon kepada Allah untuk mendapat rumah di dalam syurga. Jadi usah dikorbankan akhirat kita hanya kerana dipersiakan oleh cinta kita di dunia.
Bagaimana sekiranya, cinta kita sudah dipersiakan? Pasangan kita seolah-olah menjadi 'orang lain'. Bukan dia yang kita kenal dahulu. Apakah ketika itu kita akan jadi panasaran? Habis segala laci, meja tulis, kereta atau begnya kita selongkar. Telefon bimbitnya, email, facebook dan apa sahaja milik peribadinya kita bongkar. Mencari dan menghidu kalau-kalau terdapat bukti kecurangannya. Siang malam diamuk gelisah. Kita bagaikan dirasuk.
Pada saat genting itu tekanlah butang 'pause'. Bertanyalah pada diri, apakah kita masih menaruh harapan? Jika jawapannya masih ya, maka nyalakanlah harapan itu – keep hope alife! Berusahalah untuk memperbaiki diri. Dakap cinta Allah erat-erat. Moga perubahan itu membuahkan harapan yang  akan merubah pasangan kita.
Tempuhlah jalan-jalan yang baik dan dibenarkan oleh syariat untuk membetulkan keadaan. Jangan cuba membasuh najis dengan air najis. Maksudnya, jangan gunakan jalan yang salah untuk membetulkan kesalahan pasangan kita. Nanti keadaan akan bertambah buruk. Terimalah takdir itu dahulu. Jangan mungkir. Kita tidak mungkin dapat mengawal arah tiupan angin, tetapi kita masih mampu mengawal kemudi pelayaran.
Setelah berusaha sehabis daya... istirehatkan hati dan minda. Cuba tenangkan perasaan. Dia bukan segala-galanya dalam hidup yang singkat ini. Harapkan yang terbaik tetapi bersedialah menghadapi yang terburuk. Jika terpaksa kehilangan cinta itu bukan bukan bermakna kehilangan segala-galanya.
Buat isteri yang diuji, ambillah masa untuk bersunyi-sunyi dengan Allah. Ketika hati mu telah tenang tuliskanlah surat ini. Surat buat menghadapi tragedi cinta...
Suami ku yang disayangi,
Surat ini ku tulis dengan hati yang terus menerus berdoa agar kau dan aku berjaya mengatasi apa jua halangan dalam perjalanan kita mendapat keredaan Allah. Hingga kini aku terus yakin jika kita mencari kebaikan, insya-Allah, Allah akan memberikannya.
Terlebih dahulu ingin aku nyatakan bahawa dalam apa jua pergolakan dan ujian yang telah berlaku sepanjang kita berumah tangga, aku tetap menghormati mu. Walaupun ada masanya sikap dan kata-kataku terlanjur dan terkasar, itu bukanlah kerana aku sudah tidak  menghormatimu apatah lagi membencimu... tetapi semua itu kerana terlalu sayang. Aku tidak mahu kehilangan dirimu sebagai seorang suami seperti mana anak-anak kita juga tidak mahu kehilangan kasih-sayang seorang ayah.
Maafkan aku. Akulah yang lebih banyak bersalah dan tidak bijak menghadapi ujian rumah tangga ini. Sesungguhnya sejak dari dulu hingga sekarang aku menagih pimpinan dan panduanmu. Pimpinlah aku untuk menjadi isteri yang solehah dan ibu yang baik kepada anak-anak kita. Aku tidak mahu berpisah dengan semua kesayangan ku ini. Oleh sebab itu aku merayu agar aku terus disayangi, dilindungi, dipercayai dan dipimpin untuk menjadi wanita yang benar-benar menjadi penyeri hidup seorang suami dan anak-anak.
Kebahagiaan kita sekeluarga berada di tangan mu. Dikaulah yang menjadi peneraju dan nakhoda rumah tangga ini. Aku tahu tugas dan amanah ini sangat berat. Ia menagih keikhlasan, keimanan dan kejujuran yang tinggi daripada mu. Aku sedar apa yang akan ditanyakan Allah di Hari Akhirat kelak kepada seorang suami sebagai pemimpin jauh lebih berat dan sukar dijawab berbanding pertanyaan Allah kepada seorang isteri. Aku tahu tangung jawab mu sangat berat. Jadi aku sentiasa sedia dan setia berada di sisi mu untuk sama-sama mengharungi kepayahan ini.
Marilah sama-sama kita insafi bahawa hakikatnya umur kita kian bertambah, upaya dan tenaga kita semakin kurang, tetapi perjalanan kita masih jauh dan beban kita semakin memberat. Amanah yang ada pun belum selesai kita tunaikan, apatah lagi untuk menambah beban yang baru. Aku bimbang... kita berdua akan kecundang.
Oleh sebab itulah aku sering mengingatkan diriku dan dirimu, marilah kita kembali menilai peranan dan tanggung jawab kita masing-masing. Aku sebagai seorang isteri dan kau sebagai seorang suami... Marilah kita sama-sama bermuhasabah, apakah kiita telah melaksanakan amanah yang kita janjikan di hadapan Allah ketika kita mula bernikah dahulu?
Pernikahan disamakan dengan mendirikan masjid. Begitu sucinya ikatan perkahwinan dalam Islam. Ia bukan dibuat hanya kerana untuk melepaskan hawa nafsu semata-mata. Jika itulah sahaja niat kita berkahwin, maka apakah yang membezakan manusia dengan haiwan? Tetapi sebaliknya, Islam meletakkan hubungan sah antara suami dan isteri sebagai suatu yang sangat tinggi dan suci.
Ia bukan sahaja perkongsian fizikal, tetapi perkongsian fikiran, perasaan dan jiwa untuk sama-sama berbakti kepada Allah. Rumah tangga hakikatnya adalah sebuah masjid... Di dalam masjid orang solat, berzikir, membaca Al Quran, mendengar tazkirah kuliah dan laian-lain ibadah.
Aku rindukan semua itu. Tetapi kerinduan itu tidak akan kesampaian tanpa bimbangan darimu. Aku lemah wahai suami ku. Pimpinlah aku untuk mendapat kasih sayang Allah melalui aliran kasih sayangmu. Engkaulah harapan aku dan anak-anak. Kami hakikatnya telah diserahkan oleh Allah sebagai amanah kepada dirimu untuk disayangi di dunia dan di akhirat. Janganlah disia-siakan amanah ini. Kelak buruk padahnya kepada kami dan kepada mu jua. Relakah engkau melihat kami terkapa-kapa di dunia ini tanpa pimpinan? Dan di akhirat terhumban ke neraka yang penuh seksaan?
Suami ku,
Atas kebimbangan itu kekadang aku jadi cemburu. Bila ku lihat langkah dan sikap mu sedikit terbabas, aku menjadi sangat cemas. Bila ku lihat kau seakan-akan berubah, aku menjadi sangat gelisah. Bukan kerana benci, tetapi kerana sayang. Mengapa tidak? Bukankah di tangan kamu kemudi rumah tangga ini.
Kesilapan dan kesalahan mu sangat buruk akibatnya kepada kita sekeluarga. Jadi, fahamilah hati isteri mu ini wahai suami ku... Curiga ku bukan kerana prasangka. Cemburu ku bukan kerana melulu. Jauh sekali untuk mengawal dan memperbudak-budakan. Tetapi sekadar ingin mengingatkan bahawa kebakaran yang memusnahkan selalunya berpunca hanya daripada percikan api!
Di antara kita adalah Allah. DIAlah zat yang Maha Melihat, Maha Mendengar dan Maha Adil. Manusia tidak akan dapat mengawal dan memantau manusia lain setiap masa dan ketika. Kini aku pasrah kepada Allah. Aku lelah dan kalah untuk meneliti dan memeriksa di seluruh penjuru. Aku tidak dapat mengawal hati mu dan kau juga tidak dapat mengawal hatiku.
Hati kita berdua, Allahlah yang menjadi pemantaunya. Menyedari hakikat ini, aku kini hanya fokus untuk memperbaiki diri. Aku ingin memperbaiki hubunganku dengan Allah dan memperbaiki hubunganku dengan sesama manusia. Aku yakin Allah tidak akan mengecewakanku. Dan aku juga yakin Allah akan terus memberi kebaikan-Nya kepadaku melalui dirimu.
Marilah sama-sama kita perbaiki diri kita atas keyakinan rumah tangga ini perlu terus diselamatkan dan dimeriahkan. Jika benar itu masih menjadi harapan dan keyakinan kita, insya-Allah, pasti Allah akan tunjukkan jalan-jalan-Nya. Dalam hidup ini kita tidak boleh dapat semua perkara dalam satu masa. Bila kita mendapat sesuatu, pasti pada masa yang sama kita akan kehilangan sesuatu yang lain. Jadi marilah sama-sama kita pastikan apa yang kita dapat lebih berharga dan lebih baik berbanding apa yang kita terpaksa lepaskan.
Oleh itu jika kita ingin mendapat rumah tangga yang bahagia, kita terpaksa belajar 'melepaskan' perkara-perkara lain. Rumah tangga kita adalah keutamaan. Ia amanah Allah, harapan kita dan anak-anak kita. Sebaliknya, segala kesukaan atau keseronokan kita yang lain mungkin terpaksa kita korbankan demi membina kebahagiaan ini.Inilah pengorbanan.
Tanpa pengorbanan tidak akan ada kebahagaiaan. Kita akan rela dan tega berkorban jika kita benar-benar inginkan rumah tangga ini berjaya. Jika tidak, kita terpaksalah mengorbankan rumah tangga ini... Apakah ini berbaloi? Tidakkah ini seperti kata pepatah, yang dikejar tak dapat, yang dikendong berciciran? Atau mendengar guruh di langit, air tempayan dicurahkan?
Suami ku,
Tipuan dunia dan godaan nafsu ini sangat memberangsangkan. Syaitan sentiasa menghias bibit-bibit dosa-dosa dengan segala keindahan dan kecantikan. Sekali kita terjerumus, payah untuk bebas kembali. Selagi yang diburu tidak tercapai, selagi itulah kita lelah mengejarnya. Tetapi setelah kita mendapat, ada yang lain pula datang menggoda. Apa yang ada jarang disyukuri, apa yang tiada itulah yang kita risaukan. Kita akan lesu kerana asyik memburu.
Mengejar nafsu itu bagai mengejar bayang-bayang. Dilihat ada tetapi apabila digenggam ia hilang... di hujung percarian itu pasti ada lesu dan jemu. Kehendak nafsu tidak ada batas dan tidak pernah puas. Padahal kematian itu boleh datang tiba-tiba. Relakah kita tertipu mengejar fatamorgana hanya kerana dari jauh ia kelihatan umpama air yang tergenang?
Aku mengingatkan diri ku dan diri mu kerana sayang. Aku selalu bertanya pada diri sendiri, relakah aku mengorbankan rumah tangga ini hanya untuk mengejar sesuatu yang tidak pasti? Aku terpaksa melepaskan salah satunya. Dan insya-Allah, buat selamanya aku lebih sanggup melepaskan apa dan sesiapa sahaja, asalkan jangan melepaskan kebahagiaan rumah tangga ku. Itulah yang ada di hatiku. Dan itulah jua yang aku harapkan, doakan ada dalam hati mu.
Jika dalam surat ini ada kesedihan... ia bukan kekecewaan tetapi itu hanya harapan. Jika dalam surat ini ada teguran... itu bukan kebencian tetapi itu hanya peringatan, buat ku dan buat mu jua. Namun, ku akui dalam surat ini terlalu banyak doa dan harapan. Doa ku hanya pada Ilahi. Dan harapan ku tetap untuk mu suami. Jika air mata itu berkesan, nescaya akan tulis surat ini dengan air mata. Bukan air mata kecewa tetapi air mata harapan...
Ku harap kau membaca surat ini dengan hati yang terbuka. Bayangkan semula harapan dan cita-cita kita seawal kita memutuskan untuk berkahwin dahulu. Saat indah itu telah berlalu tetapi keindahan itu akan menjelma semula dalam bentuk baru jika kita berusaha untuk merealisasikannya. Dalam perkahwinan yang baik, seorang lelaki dan wanita sentiasa mencari ruang dan peluang untuk memperbaiki dirinya demi orang yang disayanginya.
Dan sekalipun dalam perkahwinan yang paling bermasalah, penawar yang mujarab adalah kebenaran. Menyatakan kebenaran kepada pasangan adalah kaedah terbaik untuk membuktikan cinta adalah lebih utama daripada satu pendustaan!
Mohon berundur dulu. Pasangan yang bahagia bukanlah tidak pernah membuat kesilapan. Tetapi mereka tetap bahagia kerana mereka sentiasa belajar mengakui kesilapan itu dan belajar daripadanya... dan akhirnya melupakannya! Itulah aku kini. Ku akui kesilapan ku dan aku sedang memperbaikinya dan aku ingin melupakannya...
Suami ku, aku masih menaruh harapan. Insya-Allah, kau masih sudi membantu aku untuk itu! Amin.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Doa-doa Rabi'ah Al-Adawiyah

I have struggled with being at peace with myself...especially last year"... my rock and solace was and still is faith.

I am currently reading 'Kisah Para Wali' and I feel so ashamed of myself...betapa hina dan kecilnya iman diri ini berbanding kekasih-kekasih Tuhan Yang Maha Esa.

Di bawah adalah doa-doa yang sering diamalkan Rabi'ah Al-Adawiyah, and reading it brought tears to my eyes:-

"Ya Allah,  apa pun yang akan Engkau kurniakan kepadaku di dunia ini, berikanlah  kepada musuh-musuhMu, dan apa pun yang akan Engkau kurniakan kepadaku di akhirat nanti, berikanlah kepada sahabat-sahabatMu, kerana Engkau sendiri cukuplah bagiku."

"Ya Allah, jika aku menyembah-Mu kerana takut kepada neraka, bakarlah aku di dalam neraka; dan jika aku menyembahMu kerana mengharapkan syurga, campakkanlah aku dari syurga; tetapi jika aku menyembahMu demi Engkau semata, janganlah Engkau enggan memperlihatkan keindahan wajahMu yang abadi padaku"

And that gives me peace...reading that gives me peace. I now believe that grief, the pain in my life, my struggles with Aries, semuanya adalah ujian dan kehendak dariNya.

HambaMu now at peace with those that cause her so much grief...semua itu adalah kehendakMu 

HambaMu ini...redha.

Biarlah perasaan yang indah ini kekal selamanya...


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Weekday outing with Aries

We have not been able to do this since we were married.

An outing on a weekday.

At our fave place we go, Nando's at Tropicana

Our drinks 

 My food yummy!!! But servings terlampau byk...tak habis

Aries tgh khusyuk...hehe

Why can I do this on a weekday? Because I am on leave until the end of the week...

Have like a million errands to run...


Until next time...bye!!!

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The Why's

Someone asked why the design of my blog has been revamped this way.

Emmm...perlu ada sebab ke nak tukar tukar design?

But the person who asked me has a sharp eye...everything I do, write...has a reason.

The design of this blog is no exception.

 -  I changed the picture of my profile to depict just me instead of me and Aries because I realised that Aries does NOT define me as a person, mother or wife... I do.. and I can stand on my own and that I am stronger than I thought. I learned this fact just this year. It was something hard for me to realise as we have been together for almost 4 years (lived together for 2 years) before marriage and have been married for 3 years. It is easy to get swallowed up by your other half (moulding your time, ideas of happiness and sense of self and ...your views on life basically). I have vowed to myself this year to NEVER let that happen to me again (it was happening, slowly without me realising).

-  I put a pic of Aries putting my wedding band (which has since been replaced by my triple excellent...hehe) on my finger but without our faces shown because... I want to remind myself that I am a married woman and that I am committed to make this marriage work. I  want to emphasize the fact that I want to remind myself that 'I' am 'married' instead of 'who' I married. It is a reminder to myself utk taat kepada suami (regardless of who it is, well it is Aries la kan..but that's not the point). This is more of a religious issue for itu jela.

- I have so many links to blogshops because I love online shopping so much..!!! hehe..sgt suka ok? so to help myself and my readers...I put up the links..harap it helps your shopping experience.

- I find the earth tones of the new design of my blog very no more black and blue theme of yonder..!!! It is time to move on and heal...time heals all wounds they I am going to let time pass and see what happens this year...

So ..... did I answer all your questions?