Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Raya Shopping 2013

"When things break, it's not the actual breaking that prevents them from getting back together again.It's because a little piece gets lost - the two remaining ends couldn't fit together even if they wanted to. The whole shape has changed" - John Green 

Hi All,

How are things nearing raya?

Raya is going to be tough for me this year. I am creating a new tradition for myself. Staying in KL and visiting Akif every year before I go anywhere else.

I must, if not I will miss him for the rest of the raya holidays. It just feels so morbid but I need to suck it up.

Anyways, I just bought something for myself for raya.

I figured with all the crap I have gone through, some retail therapy was in order. I have also figured that I really need a cabinet for all my bags now.

I love my bags, looking at them makes me happy. Does that make sense? Hehe.

Later readers. A lot of work awaits.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Boycott Israel - Progress Updates [Ahava]

"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward.." ~ Fridtjof Nansen

Hello Readers,

Time have passed since Aisha died during the last attack.

I still miss her dearly. And my boycott remains strong.

I need your help.

Some friends have started a campaign to get Nordstrom to get Ahava products off their shelves. Ahava products are made from  minerals off the dead sea, in the illegally occupied territories of Palestine.

They need 5000 signatures.

Please help, you have no idea how effective these BDS online petitions are.

Please go to this link http://links.causes.com/s/clLqq7?r=pYvV.

Please share this post, and create awareness on its existence.

Please sign this petition, you may end up saving a life.

Thank you for your time.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Tops - Butik Cymus

Assamualaikum everyone.

Its a beautiful Monday over on my end.

Just to update you on my online shopping.

Loved the colours and they are aurat compliant so I bought them in both these colours. I realised when I got it that I must have lost a lot of weight because they are from my old measurements and should fit me, but somewhere were loose when I wore them, so I'm gonna have to alter them when I get it back from Bonda's dobi shop.

They are from Butik Cymus.

Have a good week ahead now everyone.

Friday, July 19, 2013

Berpoligami cara Nabi - Facts you MUST know

Hello readers,

Following the posting on Dayana's poem to Ashraff, the husband who cheated on her (Yes, he did..let's call a spade a spade ok?), some of my readers have asked me to share my knowledge of some of the misconceptions surrounding polygamy practised by our beloved prophet s.a.w.

What I am about to share are simply facts, which I have learned throughout my tenure in Sekolah Agama in my secondary school, and is not meant to offend anybody. I must state though that the understanding of the Malay society and men mostly (ustaz-ustaz di luar sana not excluded) are very male biased, and rarely touches on how faithful our prophet was to his 1st wife, but instead focuses on how polygamy is allowed and just that, not explaining the problems that the prophet faced throughout his life due to his polygamous marriages.

To read the yourself, find the books Rahiqul Makhtum and Sirah Sahabiyah.

Misconception 1 - The prophet was always a polygamous man

This is simply untrue. The prophet remained monogamous to his 1st wife, Khadijah r.a. for 25 years of his life, until the day his 1st wife passed away. So faithful was he that he did not even take on a female slave as you could have sexual relations with your slave at the time.

He grieved for a long time thereafter before he married Saudah and Aisyah at pretty much the same time but lived with Saudah as Aisyah was very young at the time of the marriage.

Even after he married the rest of his wives, he reminisced and missed his monogamous happy times he had with the late Khadijah, so much so that he caused immense jealousy among his other wives, particularly Aisyah.

He was only in a polygamous marriage for the last remaining 10 years of his life.

Misconception 2 - His wives has no problems with the prophet practising polygamy

This is of course untrue, but like I said, rarely brought up or taught to the men in our society. The story often stops at the prophet practising polygamy and as such, you can too. But the problems the prophet had throughout his polygamous marriages are often not highlighted to show and/or demonstrate to the men that it is no walk in the park and involves heavy responsibility and often induces conflict and disharmony.

Example 1 - The prophet was at the time married to both Saudah and Aisyah. He was so fearful of not being able to be fair to both, that he wanted to divorce Saudah as he knew in his heart he loved Aisyah more. It was only after Saudah agreed to give away her 'giliran bermalam' to Aisyah did he relent and not proceed with the divorce.

Example 2 - It was said by Anas that at one time, Aisyah and Zainab (the prophet's 4th wife) was heard arguing at the top of their voices. So loud was  their argument, that Abu Bakar who was walking pass, could hear their fight. Abu Bakar was so incensed that he called out to the prophet to come outside the house and pour soil into their mouths (figure of speech you understand - basically what he meant was he wanted the prophet to stop the argument) to which Aisyah answered that the prophet was praying, and so Abu Bakar (Aisyah's father) ended up scolding Aisyah saying 'Why are you doing this?'

Example 3 - So jealous was Aisyah of Zainab that at one point of time Zainab went to visit to Aisyah's house. At that time, there was no fire lighting Aisyah's house and the prophet held Zainab's hand by accident to which Aisyah screamed and scolded the prophet saying 'that is Zainab!' until he withdrew his hand.

Example 4 - So jealous of Zainab was Aisyah that at one time, she planned a plot with Hafsah (the prophet's 3rd wife). The plot involved every other wife saying to the prophet everytime he met them after seeing Zainab that the prophet's mouth smelled bad and asking what he ate to make his mouth smell so bad, to which he said, 'I have just been to Zainab's house and drank some honey, and I will not drink honey made by her again'. This was a ploy to get the prophet to disfavour Zainab. This plot was the reason the phrases 1-4 in Surah At-Tahrim was send down by Allah swt to expose the plot.

Example 5 - Aisyah would often get angry with the prophet out her jealousy. So much so that everytime she is angry with the prophet she couldnt even bring herself to say his name. She would instead say 'No, in the name of God of Ibrahim!' as opposed to when she is not angry, to which she would say 'In the name of God of Muhammad!'

Example 6 - Aisyah would also known to have exclaimed and said in sadness in one of her bouts of jealousy when the prophet married another wife the following while putting her feet in daun idzkir (which is a thorny plant) 'Ya Allah, please set forth the snakes and scorpions to beset me. Your prophet, I know not what he is doing and I am powerless to do anything'.

Example 7 - Aisyah has also been known to make fun of Hafsah and Shafiyah (the prophet's 9th wife counting in Khadijah) in front of the prophet

Example 8 - Hafsah is known to be in cohorts or at odds with Aisyah to compete for the prophet's affection. Her biggest mistake was to expose one of the prophet's secret (which was told to only her) to Aisyah because she was so jealous of the prophet's affection to Mariyah (the prophet's 10th wife including in Khadijah) . This resulted in her being divorced with 1 talak.

Example 9 - Zainab binti Jahsy (the prophet's 7th wife including in Khadijah) is the only wife married to the prophet by Allah through 7 layers of the sky. Aisyah was so very jealous of. Anas said that this fact was something that Zainab loved to boast about to the other wives. She liked to make fun and/or offend Shafiyah (as Shafiyah was the daughter of a Jewish man), so much so that she evoked the anger of the prophet for a long time.

Example 10 - Aisyah was so jealous of Juwairiyah (the prophet's 8th wife including Khadijah). that she said [See Hadis Sahih Muslim, hadis Urwah from Aisyah] 'By Allah, I hated her from the moment I saw her from my door'.

Example 11 - The biggest conflict of all arose when Mariyah gave birth to Ibrahim, which evoked extreme jealousy from the rest of his wives as he had no children with them. Mariyah was also very beautiful and this made things worse. So bad was the conflict and jealousy between his wives that it caused extreme stress to the prophet. So much so that he isolated himself from ALL his wives for a month. He isolated himself in a small room and became extremely emaciated and considered divorcing all his wives. He was only persuaded by Umar to calm down and rethink his position 29 days later.

There are just so many instances I cannot list them all down. Make no mistake that this is not meant to embarrass the respected wives of the prophet or the prophet. They were pious women, that had their good sides which cannot be disputed and have all been blessed by Allah swt. and was respected and loved by the prophet. These facts exist to show that no matter how gentle a woman is or pious a woman is, she is a woman nevertheless and there will be jealousy and extreme conflict arising every so often in polygamous marriages.

Misconception 3 - His children with Khadijah had no problems with their stepmothers

Again, this is untrue. The children the prophet had with Khadijah (all the children he has are from his marriage to Khadijah save for one) grew up in a peaceful conducive environment as the prophet never married another throughout his marriage with Khadijah.

It was said by Aisyah herself that once, the prophet entered her house to find her crying and so she asked Aisyah why? Whereupon Aisyah answered 'Fatimah insulted me' and so the prophet took steps to patch the relationship and ease the fight.

How now?
How many men in our society know these facts I wonder? They should be forwarned before thinking about 'nak seronok' je boleh berjimak dengan ramai wanita if you know what I mean. And I think what Ashraf Muslim did was totally unislamic, he kept his 2nd marriage a secret. The prophet never kept any of his marriages secret.

Alright readers, I hope those who pm me are satisfied with what little info I can provide.

Have a good weekend ahead.

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Puisi Nukilan Dayana untuk Ashraf Muslim

Hi readers,

I suppose everyone knows that the Ashraf Muslim (yang ala-ala alim tu y'all) pergi kahwin buat kali kedua di Thailand.

His first wife Dayana was crushed upon finding out after she found his itinerary in his travel bag.

On Dayana's facebook page today, she posted a poem which I will share as it touches my heart:-

"Tak usah bicara tentang payung emas
Aku belum layak iktiraf diri sesuci khadijah atau fatimah

Tak usah bicara tentang zuriat
Aku bukan Allah...mudah menyebut kun fa ya kun...

Tak usah bicara tentang setia
Aku pasti kau tahu aku bukan perempuan jalanan

Tak usah bicara tentang tanggungjwb
Aku tahu kau lebih arif tentang itu

Tak usah bicara tentang kesempurnaan
Aku terima kekurangan kau kerana Allah

Tak usah bicara tentang dia
Aku diasingkan darimu kerana dia

Sucinya aku, kau miliki ketika di Makkah
Hebatnya dia, kau sembunyikan ketika di Thailand..

Berhenti beralasan ini semua jodoh ketentuan Allah...
Kerana satu dunia tahu
Hanya itu lah jawapan mudah utk lepaskan kekhilafan yg disengajakan..."

MasyaAllah, I can feel how her heart is broken....

Ya Allah, help her...help all of us wanita yang teraniaya oleh lelaki lelaki sebegini...


Monday, July 15, 2013

Akif's Death - Coping

Hi readers,

Monday Blues...yepp.

Yesterday I took a big step.

I did buy a small amount of clothes for Akif before he was diagnosed with the fatal hydrops that lead to his passing.

At first I left the clothes, neatly wrapped and folded in a plastic bag in my sister's room. I would enter the room and pretend not to see it. Sometimes when I couldn't resist the urge, I would open the bag up and look at the cute clothes that I bought. How hard that was...its like a knife through the heart. Stabbing and stabbing until all the blood had drained, until nothing was left but a hole.

Then I moved the clothes to a spare room and hid it in a cupboard. So it was out of sight. But everytime I entered the room I knew it was there. Hidden away in a cupboard. I was paralysed literally. I did not know what to do with it. I couldn't look at it. But I couldn't throw it away. I couldn't bear the thought of another baby wearing them, because it was meant for MY son. MY Akif. That was how it went for months and months, or if you want to be exact, 163 days now.

Until yesterday, when my mom was asking me whether I had anything to give away to single moms in the areas my dad liked to do charity work and help.

I paused, for a long time...

I knew the clothes were there, I had doubts, my chest felt heavy, my eyes began to water, my lips began to dry up. My knees felt like buckling.

And then I said it...... 'Ibu ambiklah baju arwah Akif bagi kat baby ibu-ibu tunggal tu...'

I said it, and then I actually went to retrieve the clothes, and handed it over to my mum. Shaking...

It was a step. A tough one, but a step.

Ohh Akif, betapa mama rindu padamu...setiap detik, setiap nafas mama.

Moga Tuhan izinkan mama bermain bersama-sama Akif di taman syurga suatu hari nanti, dan moga mama dizinkan kekal didalamnya bersama Akif supaya dapat mama lepaskan rindu mama ini... 

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Batik Kaftan - Pakaian Bermalasan di Rumah

Hello everyone.

Ramadhan is here and I am expecting same major changes in my life after Ramadhan this year. I am currently trying to adjust my mind and my entire way of living.

Semoga Allah permudahkan. Amin

Anyways, I recently bought some lovely batik kaftan from FB. Nice different looking designs. Untuk bermalasan di rumah.

They are from Love Batik Kaftan.

Sadly I was told the owner is closing up shop soon, because of slow response from customers. Alahai sedih sbb kaftan dia mmg cantik!

Alright readers, pray for me and Airiel. Semoga semuanya dipermudahkan.


Thursday, July 4, 2013

ST12 - Saat Terakhir

This song reminds me of Akif...

ST12 - Saat Terakhir

Tak pernah terfikir olehku
Tak sedikitpun ku bayangkan
Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri
Begitu sulit ku bayangkan
Begitu sakit ku rasakan
Kau akan pergi tinggalkan ku sendiri

Dibawah batu nisan kini kau telah sandarkan
Kasih sayang kamu begitu dalam
Sungguh ku tak sanggup ini terjadi
Kerana ku sangat cinta
Inilah saat terakhir ku melihat kamu
Jatuh air mataku menangis pilu
Hanya mampu ucapkan
Selamat jalan kasih

Satu jam sahaja
Ku telah bisa cintai kamu di hatiku
Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup
Satu jam sahaja
Ku telah bisa sayangi kamu di hatiku
Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup

Inilah saat terakhir ku melihat kamu
Jatuh air mataku menangis pilu
Hanya mampu ucapkan
Selamat jalan kasih

Satu jam sahaja
Ku telah bisa cintai kamu di hatiku
Namun bagiku melupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup
Satu jam sahaja
Ku telah bisa sayangi kamu di hatiku
Namun bagiku lupakanmu butuh waktuku seumur hidup...

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Boycott Israel - Progress Updates

Hi everyone,

With sadness I have been informed that a 19 year old Palestinian was shot yesterday in the chest yesterday and had his dead body ran over by the Israeli patrol vehicle who shot him.

May Mu'taz Alsharawneh rest in peace.

Remember the boycott my readers.

Also some good news on the boycott divestments and sanctions campaign ("BDS")- Stephen Hawking has joined the BDS campaign.

Alicia Keys on the other hand, despite protests from the BDS campaign supporters went ahead and performed in Israel recently.

Keep up with updates at the following links:-

1. Facebook page "Campaign of Exposing Israeli Crimes via Social Media; and

2. The Palestine Solidarity Campaign ("PSC") website.

Have a good week ahead everyone.

Work awaits me.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

The void...

"When you're missing a piece of yourself, aching, gut wrenching emptiness begins to take over. 
Until you find the link that completes your very soul, the feeling will never go away. 
Most people find a way to fill this void, material possessions, a string of relationships, affairs, food... 
I bear my soul, with words, for all to see" - Jennifer Salaiz 




only this time....

I am at a loss for words...