Wednesday, November 1, 2017


"Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognise the person you see there..." ~ Sarah Dessen

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

From the outset, I would like to state that this post is about my angel kids, the children I have lost. 

Akif and Aisha, this one is for you.

Every single year, and how long has it been? Akif would have been 4, Aisha would have been 10, I would be shrouded in darkness. I just go deeper and deeper into it, not being able to get out.

I remember the devastating email that came from Palestine informing me I had lost may daughter. 

I remember that at this time during the year in 2012, I stopped going to work. I was in and out of hospitals, the days I was not, I would be in a coffee shop, counting kicks, noting it down in my book. Hoping for life, but as a mom, inevitably knowing that death was near.

To be honest the images, they get more clouded, less clear every year. But the feelings, that somehow remains the same. 

I keep on waiting and waiting for  the feelings to subside, to die down, to numb but years on I have to say that I felt as much grief now as I did years ago.

I am surrounded by people that I love, that love me and my, I am blessed. 

But the void, it never truly goes away. I try to keep myself busy, but there are times I wonder how this little boy would look like had he lived. How I would be preparing for playschool for him now. How maybe he would look like his big brother. How he would drive me crazy with his antics. How this, how that...

I wonder whether Aisha would have lived to obtain a permit to leave Gaza and come visit her ummi all the way in Malaysia. I heard almost her entire family is gone now. None living past the age of 40. 

And it feels the same. It hurts just the same as it did when it happened.

What is it am I supposed to do now? How long is this grief thing supposed to take? Because to be honest I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am sick of walking around with the weight of all this grief, with the memories that haunt me while I wake.

Every single damn end of the year.

There is always a phrase that haunts me in my dreams these few months, and I stop sleeping, I stop eating, I stop living. That phrase that screams out loud inside my head.


I am so sorry kids. I tried. I did everything I could. It just was not meant to be.

I wish I could hear them say it, that they forgive me. Then maybe I could forgive myself. 


Maybe one day.

Not today. 

Not for a long time yet.

Akif's journey can be read here.

Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Safi Rania Gold Beetox Obsession

"It was a sort of ferocious, quiet beauty, the sort that wouldn't let you admire it. The sort of beauty that always hurt." - Maggie Stiefvater

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Almighty.

Hi everyone. Just wanted to share with you my current skincare obsession.

So Iza dah pakai for 6 weeks dah. And memang ada beza tu my skin. This serum and elixir is crazy awesome!

The pores and pigmentation nampak beza tau! The most crazy thing about this? the PRICE.

It's just super cheap compared to the Japanese or even Korean, (apatah lagi brand org putih) out there.

So this is definitely a go for me thats in my 30s to incorporate in my skincare routine. 

Give it a shot. It works!

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Pemuteran, Bali - A secret hideaway to unwind...

"There's only one place I want to go and it's to all the places I've never been" - Nikki Rowe


Teka Iza pergi mana this time around?

Every year mesti iza akan ke bali, tapi this time Iza ingat nak pergi tempat tak ramai sgt tourist lagi. Iza decide nak pergi Pemuteran.

Basically Pemuteran is at the opposite side of Bali and the more known places such as Kuta. 

5 jam dari airport kalau bawak laju baru sampai ke sana okay? 

Yes, memang jauh. But nak share skit betapa cantiknya kampung nelayan ni.

Actually Pemuteran ni tempat org suka scuba pergi. Ada pelancong but tak macam Kuta, Ubud atau Seminyak.

It was so peaceful and quiet, exactly what I needed to destress. Moto - work hard play hard gittew hahaha.

Next post I am going to share makanan halal mana nak cari kat Pemuteran ni. 

In the meantime layan satu lagi gambar. Cewahh

Sigh, I miss Bali already. 

Next year Bali, Iza akan kembali lagi. I promise.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Weekie 2017 - Suunah Kekabu Boutique Hotel & Resort, Shah Alam

"Parents were the only ones obligated to love you; from the rest of the world you had to earn it." Ann Brashares

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Almighty, the Most Merciful.

Hi readers. How are things? In between the last blog post, I have squeezed in a vaccay in Bali and just finished a lovely weekend with Airiel.

Before updates on Bali, let me just share with you this lovely hotel I found in Section 20, Shah Alam. 

The hotel is called Suunah Kekabu. Pics below:-

Airiel excited to reach the hotel. Loving the decor already from the outside


Woody feel of the lobby

Loving the way the rooms are numbered

Cantik kan?

Another view of the lobby

Look at the feature wall inside my suite.

Loving the poster inside the room too!

My wardrobe and cabinet was all dark wood. Soo pretty!

After lying down on this bed I realised how the hotel got its name. All the mattresses and pillows are the traditional kekabu ones! Luv!

My presidential suite has 2 king beds and 1 single beds. The 1 king size bed and 1 single bed is on the top level of the loft style suite.

Even the mini pantry was made of all wood. Loving the old style mugs!

The little mini seating area also all wood

This is basically how it looks! Love the concept!

The Presidential suite was only RM300 plus, reasonable price for such a huge room this size. 

Loved this hotel and will definitely come back! 

Do try and stay here and enjoy the woody kampung feel of the rooms while being right in the city area! 

Tip- Booking doesn't seem to show the Presidential suite. I suggest you call the hotel directly.  Prices are reasonable.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Monday, September 4, 2017

Aidiladha 2017 - A blessing

"It is only with true love and compassion that we can begin to mend what is broken in the world. It is these two blessed things that can begin to heal all broken hearts" - Steve Maraboli

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Most Merciful.

How was your Aidiladha? Mine was such a splendid, blessed affair.

Aracare had 1 cow and 1 sheep for qurban this year for its maiden Qurban initiative. Let's see the pictures shall we?

Overall it was a success, with 100 over packs distributed to the poor, refugees, single moms and low income families. 

Airiel followed me throughout the process and I must say I am just so overwhelmed with it. It made me realise the sacrifice another living being has to make so I can eat. Sesungguhnya sgt menginsafkan. So ajar Airiel utk berjimat, jgn membazir makanan. An animal had to die so we can eat. He seems to understand.

Follow aracare at its FB page or Instagram to see how we try to make a change, one life at a time! Just type in Aracare Ngo! 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Until next time.

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Fernweh 2017 - Bayou Lagoon Resort

"My personal hobbies are reading, listening to music, and silence" - Edith Sitwell

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Most Merciful.

Hello everyone. Just some updates on a recent short vaccay with Airiel. I went to Bayou Lagoon Resort in Melaka. 

It was the cheapest on so I made a booking and off we went. Let me show you the pics:-

Nice spacious lobby with high ceilings

The room was nice and spacious. It has a kitchenette. Airiel and I bunked here.

The park was not bad and kept Airiel entertained. Of course Mama was forced to go up slides like 50 times. Huarghhh.

The breakfast was also not bad. Loved the porridge. 

Check out their deals. All deals include waterpark tickets and breakfast. There are 1,2,3 bedroom apartments too, so its perfect for families.

A worthwhile trip. Airiel is already pestering me for the next one. Hmmmnnn where should I take him? Any suggestions? Drop me a line. 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Ellips Hair Repair ❤️

"And forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair..." - Khalil Gibran

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Almighty.

Hello readers. What a crazy last week and this week has been for me. I am just excited to share with you guys this thing I have been using.

Yes this ellips thingy! Have been using it for a month now and my hair is just feels so much better! 

Less frizz, shiny and most importantly less hairfall which is a huge issue for scarf wearers like me.

Would recommed this to all you scarfies out the hehe (apa barang term hijabista hijabista ni? I use scarfies instead hahaha 🤣😂).

I am expecting to be able to blog more as I have managed to go get this nifty app on my phone which allows me to type posts straight from my phone. So be prepared to be bombarded selalu.

That's it for now as sleep is calling.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Tuesday, July 18, 2017

The Calm in Chaos

"It's a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all beautiful..." ~ Hiromu Arakawa

In the name of Allah the Beneficent, the Almighty.

Hello readers. A reader was asking for updates in so far my activities are concerned.

Well, I have been busy. How does one recover from adversity? My advice? Keep yourself busy. Sadness will invade you, but only intermittently.

So what am I up to these days?

Nenda has retired and so the family has been supporting her in her Tempoyak Masak business. Follow the team and its journey on the FB page and IG. She has so many projects in store when it comes to food and traditional recipes which she hopes to share. I find it just so inspiring to see her so spirited at such an age!

Apart from that, I am also heavily involved in the family's NGO. AraCare. Follow us on FB and IG to find out what we are trying to do to help and make a change, no matter how small!

AraCare is now running its Kurban project. Come and support us and book a portion!

Cute la poster ni alahai hahaha.

Call the number for inquiries and booking.

So that is basically what I am up to these days. There is so much activity and it's chaos around the house but I would not have it any other way!

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Sunday, July 16, 2017

Updates on Missha Time Revolution First Treatment Essence - 7 months on

"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone..." - Dorothy Parker

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Most Merciful.

Hi everyone. 

My last post on the start of my use of Missha and moving away from SKII was in December last year. You can read about it here.

7 months on and I still have about 1/10 of the bottle left. So i am thinking each bottle with optimum usage would last for about 9-10 months.

What do I think of it? An absolute cheaper and works just as well dupe for SKII essence!

I am actually on to my 2nd bottle. Tehee

Teheee selfie!!

There you go! Skin is supple, smooth, and the colour of my skin is simply more even toned. I.LOVE.IT

 What remains unbeatable is of course the price. I love the fact that it costs less than half of what a bottle of SKII essence would cost currently.

So for those who is looking for an SKII essence dupe, I highly recommend this!

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Saturday, July 15, 2017

Hilton Hotel, Kuching

"I suspected that what happens in hotel rooms rarely lasts outside of them. I suspected that when something was a beginning and an ending at the same time, that meant it could only exist in the present..." ~ Rachel Cohn

In the name of Allah, the Beneficient, the Almighty.

Time for me to update you guys on my recent working trip to Kuching.

I stayed at the Hilton hotel. I bought some vouchers and became part of their luxury thingymajig programme for the year and so far it has been very useful.

So back to the room.

I was given a room with a view to the river and the opposite village. The room had a bathtub and the bed was super comfy!

Everything was top notch. 

If there was one complaint, it was that Hilton does not give complimentary wifi. You either become a member of their group for free (and then you get the wifi) or you have to buy for daily use. Baffling if you ask me in this day and age where complimentary wifi is an expected standard in all hotels. I mean even my fave budget hotel has free wifi in Sg Siput.

Anyway, I bought the vouchers which include hotel discounts, hotel buffet discounts etc and for those who travel often, it is worth it totally! Plus she arranges my bookings and all for me. So it's so convenient.

Email me or pm to get details of the person I bought it from okay? You can buy it from her.

Until the next update. 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Orly's Wudhu' Friendly and Halal Nail Polish!

"You can tell a lot from a person's nails. When life starts to unravel, they're among the first to go..."
 ~ Ian McEwan

Hello readers,

Since I have time I might as well share with you guys this nail polish that I am so excited about.

Previously, we the wudhu' conscious girls only had the option of Inglot breathable nail polish for nails. I found it to be tedious a bit when it comes to Inglot and having it applied at nail salons when I do my nails because  the salon will try to put on the base coat and the top coat, which is not wudhu' friendly, so in the end tak sah pun sembahyang sebab top coat and base coat lain dari nail polish tu.

Which is why I was super excited bila keluar Orly's nail polish ni sbb it is a 3 in 1. Includes base and top coat as well and is wudhu' friendly and halal too!

See? This is my colour of choice, Nude. Base coat and Top Coat is the treatment part la kan. 

I absolutely love how the colour looks on my nails! Please ignore uber ugly feet.

Now, for those who would like to read up on the nail polish, see links below. It's taken the west by storm!!!:-





The cons? Well, the colour options are limited right now, unlike Inglot which has a whole variety of colours. 

Right now you can find these nail polishes at Sasa. They cost around RM69 I think, which I find uber expensive sbb on the orly website it costs like 9 USD only. Like seriously? So I am looking for online options jugak for orders. 

Give this a try girls! 

Much love from Airiel and I. 

Peace and love to everyone!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Salam Aidilfitri 2017

"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom..." ~ Marcel Proust

Hello readers!

My posse and I would like to wish all the readers Happy Eid 2017. Be safe on the road!

Friday, May 19, 2017

Awesome Brownies for Airiel's Teacher's Day

"Usually she ordered a cup of coffee and a cup of tea, as well as a brownie, propping up her sadness with chocolate and caffeine so that it became an anxiety" ~ Lorrie Moore

Hello readers.

I am just so excited about these brownies I just had to share it with you guys!

These chocolate brownies were to be drizzled with salted caramel by me before being delivered to school. I chose the premium version so it was super awesome!

You guys need to try it.

You guys can find her on instagram at

Janji sedap tak tipu. 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

Lets Get Lost 2017 - MU Hotel, Ipoh

"At some point, you have to stop running and turn around and face whoever that wants you dead. The hard thing is finding the courage to do it..." ~ Suzanne Collins 

Hi readers,

So for the long labour day weekend I was attending a cousin's wedding in Ipoh. We decided to stay at the Ibis Styles hotel that got renamed the MU Hotel.

I loved my room! 

So the room has a modern contemporary feel and it has a sliding door that closes the shower and the toilet based on where you slide it. You can't close both at the same time though.

This is the seating area near the lifts 

The hallway 

It has like an internet and workspace area... 

 The lobby is pretty cute!

I do love the feel and the design. No pool though and no porter. For a short stay it was nice. Located in the middle of town and 5 mins drive from Ipoh Parade.

Rates were reasonable.

My review of the hotel is somewhere on

Until further updates, much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone. 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Tempoyak Masak Dr. Zee Buka Untuk Tempahan!

" I like a cook who smiles out loud when he tastes his own work. Let God worry about your modesty; I want to see your enthusiasm..." ~ Robert Farrar Capon

In the name of Allah, the Benevolent, the Most Merciful.

Hello readers. 

I am soooo excited okay?

My mum who is retired has returned to one of her favourite passions. Cooking.

And dia masak apa? Tempoyak Masak.

Siapa pernah dengar pasal tempoyak masak angkat tangan. Selalunya orang perak akan tahu.

Just a view of how it looks like dengan nasi. Echewah.

Tempoyak masak tersebut adalah di sebelah kanan. Chewaah.

It's basically tempoyak yg dimasak with yummy ingredients and dimakan as a sambal. When we were kids, jarang dapat makan benda yang sedap ni sbb my mum is very protective of her tempoyak and tempoyak masak byk pakai tempoyak to make. So it's only reserved for bulan puasa. Basically akan berebut nak makan and lepastu cepat habis.

Sejak my mum bersara, dia selalu serve this dish at gatherings dengan relatives and kawan-kawan and it's a hit. So diorg la cakap, kenapa tak bukak order and jual sbb sedap? And so Dr. Zee's tempoyak masak was born.

 Ha tudia siap ada label giteww

Ini first batch postal orders. My mum happy sgt org suka makan apa yg dia masak!

Siapa siapa yang nak order please watsapp nombor di atas or get in touch with me, okay? For me I am just a daughter supporting what my mum and dad suka buat. Keeps my parents active after retirement.

So apart from part time tutoring, I am also now busy with AraCare, work and also Dr. Zee's tempoyak masak!

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.