Wednesday, August 31, 2016
"One day, I am going to write a travel guide containing only maps and addresses of hotels, and with the rest of the pages blank. That way, people will have to make their own itinerary, to discover themselves restaurants, monuments and all the magnificent things that every city has, but which are never mentioned because 'the history that we have been taught' does not include them in the list of things you must see..." ~ Paul Coelho
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
Time for a weekie update.
There have been a lot of things going on at work and at home, rendering an update almost impossible to write.
It is the 59th anniversary of Merdeka in Malaysia today and in between finishing some work, I am finding time to squeeze this in. Just last week the familia, sans Airiel's Nenda and Atok decided to go for a quick weekie getaway since Airiel's Bonda and Nenda had to cancel their South Africa trip as the health of a close family member was failing.
This time we went to a relatively new hotel in the Shah Alam area, Geno Hotel.
The lobby was gorgeous. Huge and spacious with metres long chandeliers. Have not seen that in a while. Airiel was admiring all these gold statues. Haha I think the last bottom one is swinging a golf club.
There was ample parking as well.
Views of the room and bathroom. I love the quirky standing light. TV was embedded into a feature wall and had games inside it so Airiel was happy. Everything was squeaky clean.
The pool, gym and sauna were located on the 4th floor. The pool setup was simple and was super clean. It was practically empty so Airiel had the pool all to himself. It was a windy day so the water felt a bit cold I think. The gym was located beside the pool and had some nice equipment.
I was too lazy to venture out to find food so ate ala carte at the hotel restaurant named Taste. I was so pleasantly surprised to see the prices of the ala carte food here!. It was believe it or not, cheaper than what a meal would cost in Publika. I would highly recommend the Aglio Oglio seafood pasta, the prawn bisque, the kids meals. I ordered food for 4 pax (2 adults and 2 kids, because my uncle and her daughter dropped by for dinner) and total was about RM80 ish. Awesome and the food was good!.
The views from my room were pretty awesome.
'Some person with oversized shoulder pads' said Airiel
'Fat blob of gold poop' said Airiel. Hahahaha
I would highly recommend this hotel for quick weekend getaways. No complaints and was pleasantly surprised by everything. The staff was very friendly and helpful as well.
I made my booking via booking.com and my review of the hotel is in there somewhere. The link to the hotel is here.
Until the next update, much love from Airiel and I.
Peace and love to everyone.
Sunday, August 7, 2016
"Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily..." ~ Lemony Snicket
I am happy to state that the family's open house cum mini launch of Aracare went smoothly yesterday. With a few hiccups, we managed to sail through.
Such a blessed day yesterday was. No more open houses for the next 5 years Bonda and I say, although Airiel's atok is already silently planning for the next one, I know it! haha.
Thank you for the friends that took their time to attend. You guys are rock stars.
I know I have not written about any serious topics for a while, most recent blog posts are usually about travels, food and other reviews. So I think it's about time for one of those.
I realised that with time I am able to speak about angel Akif more casually without bursting into tears. But one of my triggers on what kills me (I am not sure how to explain it but the emotional distress does sometime feel and translate so much so that it feels like physical pain) are social events.
I look around and realise my family is NOT complete. That whilst I was preparing and breezing through the day before and during the event that my angel Akif should be here with me and Airiel. That he would have been 3 and a half. That he should be with me but he just isn't. That there is a hole in my heart that can never be filled.
That he is not with me.
That he is not here.
That he is gone.
That he should be with me but he isn't.
I saw a post on grief by Patton Oswalt that struck me. His wife died in her sleep, shocking him and daughter. He said:-
"Thanks for making depression look like the buzzing little bully it always was. Depression is the tallest kid in the 4th grade, dinging rubber bands off the back of your head and feeling safe on the playground, knowing that no teacher is coming to help you.
But grief? Grief is Jason Statham holding that 4th grade bully's head in a toilet and then fu**ing the teacher you've got a crush on in front of the class. Grief makes depression cower behind you and apologize for being such a di**.
If you spend 102 days completely focused on ONE thing you can achieve miracles. Make a film, write a novel, get MMA ripped, kick heroin, learn a language, travel around the world. Fall in love with someone. Get 'em to love you back.
But 102 days at the mercy of grief and loss feels like 102 years and you have sh** to show for it. You will not be physically healthier. You will not feel "wiser." You will not have 'closure.' You will not have 'perspective' or 'resilience' or 'a new sense of self.' You WILL have solid knowledge of fear, exhaustion and a new appreciation for the randomness and horror of the universe. And you'll also realize that 102 days is nothing but a warm-up for things to come."
And his ending words about him getting up everyday and moving on:-
And I'm going to start telling jokes again soon. And writing
The link to Patton's article is here.
I realise while I can function normally on most days, when the grief hits once in a while, it is absolutely devastating. It is a crippling and an all consuming pain. I cannot eat, I cannot breathe, I cannot sleep, I cannot stay still, I cannot move, I cannot do anything. I curve myself up into a little ball and wait for the stabbing sensations to subside and yes, it takes a while.
Does that mean I am not grateful for my life? Hell no. On the contrary I appreciate every single little thing and detail more and more. That beautiful ray of sunshine, the fluffy cloulds, airiel's laughter, my favourite bowl of vietnamese noodles. I am alive, I am breathing, I survived.
There he is. Xoxo kid...
And if I can do it, all of you out there can do it too. This is the purpose of me sharing what I share. So that we can all continue to fight battles no one knows about, and yet not feel so alone while doing it.
Everyday is a battle. But it is a battle we can overcome.
The ones that have been taken from us are forever gone, never to return. Let us be the best person we can ever be in their memory and continue their legacy.
Much love from Airiel and I.
Peace and love to everyone.