Friday, March 30, 2012

Global March to Jurusalem

We may curse, belittle, poke fun at each other for our political inclinations.

We may judge ourselves better than others.

We may have more or less than others.

We may have different faiths and pray to God or Gods of our own belief.

But let us unite and end the cruelty. Let us unite and show the world that we do not tolerate any breach of human rights.

Let us march to Jurusalem and tell them ENOUGH.

I took leave for this tomorrow. I may not vote in the upcoming election, but I shall march to Jurusalem for a cause that I think is truly worthy.

We have talked and talked for too long. Let us walk...

See you tomorrow, people of the world.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Tipu yg dibenarkan dalam Islam

Scandalous tak tajuk ni. During a recent conversation with my in-laws, a statement got me really thinking. This statement was 'LELAKI BOLEH MENIPU TTG BERKAHWIN LAGI'. 


Now I have learned in my sekolah agama days that the ulama's views are diverged on this point. But let's look at the general consensus with regards to lies that are permissible in Islam.

Sabda Nabi s.a.w.; “Bukanlah dianggap pendusta/pembohong seorang yang berniat untuk memperbaiki di antara manusia dengan ia menyampaikan berita yang baik sahaja (di antara dua orang yang bergaduh/bersengketa) atau melaporkan yang baik-baik sahaja (dengan menyembunyikan yang tidak baik di antara mereka berdua)” (HR Imam al-Bukhari dan Muslim dari Ummu Kalsum r.a.). Dalam riwayat Imam Muslim, terdapat tambahan; Ummu Kalsum berkata; “Aku tidak mendengar Nabi s.a.w. memberi sebarang kelonggaran (untuk berbohong/berdusta) dalam percakapan manusia kecuali dalam tiga keadaan;

1) Ketika peperangan
2) Untuk mendamaikan di antara manusia
3) Percakapan seorang lelaki dengan isterinya dan percakapan seorang perempuan dengan suaminya
(HR Imam Muslim)

Berkata Imam an-Nawawi –mengulas hadis ini-; “Hadis ini dengan jelas telah mengharuskan beberapa bentuk pendustaan jika ada maslahah/kepentingan. Para ulamak telah membuat batasan bagi pendustaan/pembohongan yang diharuskan. Batasan yang terbaik ialah yang dikemukakan oleh Imam al-Ghazali yang menjelaskan; percakapan ialah jalan untuk mencapai maksud-maksud tertentu. Jika suatu maksud yang baik dapat dicapai dengan berkata benar, tidak harus lagi berdusta kerana pendustaan tidak diperlukan ketika itu. Namun jika maksud yang baik itu tidak ada cara untuk mencapainya melainkan dengan berbohong/berdusta, maka ketika itu berbohong/berdusta adalah harus jika maksud yang ingin dicapai itu hukumnya adalah harus. Jika maksud itu wajib, maka berdusta ketika itu juga wajib (kerana tidak ada cara lain lagi untuk mencapainya). Contohnya; ada seorang muslim bersembunyi dari seorang lelaki zalim dan kita mengetahui tempat persembunyiannya. Kemudian si zalim itu bertanya kita tempat lelaki muslim itu bersembunyi. Ketika itu wajib kita berdusta/berbohong (yakni tidak harus kita bercakap benar dengan memberitahunya). Contoh lain; kita ada menyimpan barang milik seseorang muslim, lalu ditanya tentangnya oleh seorang zalim yang ingin merampasnya, maka wajib kita berdusta untuk menyembunyikannya (bagi mengelak ia dirampas). Malah kata Imam al-Ghazali; jika kita memberitahu si zalim itu dan barang itu dirampasnya, wajib kita menggantikannya.

Namun langkah yang lebih berhati-hati ialah dengan kita melakukan at-Tauriyah iaitu berselindung, yakni tidak secara direct berdusta/berbohong. Maksud at-Tauriyah ialah kita bercakap dengan bahasa yang zahirnya nampak macam berdusta, tetapi secara terselindung (yakni biat di hati) kita tidak berdusta. (Lihat; al-Azkar, Imam an-Nawawi, kitab Hifzul-Lisan. *Terjemahan dilakukan secara bebas).

Bagi kes hubungan suami-isteri, maksud keharusan berdusta/berbohong ialah dalam menzahirkan kasih-sayang, berjanji sesuatu yang tidak lazim/mesti (ditunaikan) atau sebagainya. Sebagai contohnya; apabila isteri bertanya suami; sedap atau tidak masakannya? Suami pun menjawab; “sedap”, walhal sebenarnya tidak sedap. Jawapan itu bertujuan menjaga perasaan isteri walaupun suami sebenarnya berbohong. Berbohong sebegitu tidaklah dicela kerana tujuannya untuk mengekalkan kasih-sayang. Adapun melakukan penipuan/pembohongan untuk mengelak dari tanggungjawab/kewajipan terhadap pasangan masing-masing atau untuk merampas haknya secara batil, maka ia adalah haram dengan ijmak para ulamak. (Lihat; Syarah Soheh Muslim, Imam an-Nawawi)

Now, does the above circumstance cover an instance where a husband lies to one of his wives about the existence of another wife? I honestly doubt it. Especially when the husband in marrying another has avoided and/or abdicated his responsibility in respect of his other wife.

Wallahu a’lam.


1. al-Azkar, Imam an-Nawawi.
2. Syarah Soheh Muslim, Imam an-Nawawi, juz. 16, kitab al-Birri wa as-Silah.., Bab Tahrim al-Kazibi..
3. Raudhatul-Muttaqien, Syeikh Abdul-Qadier ‘Irfan, jil. 1, bab al-Islah baina an-Naas

Monday, March 26, 2012

Object of my jealousy today

Aries' Nasi Kandar Line Clear in Penang

Aries mmsed me this picture. Huarghhhhh, gua jeles Aries' dapat kerja outstation, and makan sodap sodap!!!

Happy Monday everybody. Updates about me previous lousy week and great weekend later.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Sadder than sadness

I loved zealously
Loved only you
I really loved zealously
Not realising you were never by my side
I love you, loved you, only you
I loved only you, I love you
I couldn't say that simple phrase
Now I must leave ahead, alone

I will never love again
I will not love even in death
Even if you come back
I will never be fooled again

I would rather be the way before we loved
When I didn't know love
I want to go back to then
I won't ever love again

Because I love
Because I love you
Your pain, your grief, your sadness
I take it all

I would rather be the way before we loved
When I didn't know love
I want to go back to then
I won't ever love again

I will never love again....

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

What a week...

And its not even over yet...

I'll blog about it when I have calmed down...


Friday, March 16, 2012


What happened to ALL the comments I approved and replied too?

WHY is it not here?

BLOGSPOT, I am going to kill YOU!!!

Sorry guys...kalau rajin bglah komen sekali lagi. I have deleted the email on comments moderation so there you go.


Happy friday.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


My family knows the story of how I became an advocate and solicitor.

It was a secret ambition I have always kept close to my heart after Maksu met with an accident. We were appointed solicitors as a pro bono case by the Queens court. Mr. Paul Scott (God bless his soul) was appointed as our solicitor. Over the next 10 years (before our case finally went to trial in the first ever video teleconferencing trial in the UK and Malaysia), he became our family. He visited us in Malaysia, stayed at crappy hotels, stood the heat which always made him pink, ate the food Nenda cooked for him and had seconds while he prepared our statements, went to see Maksu's doctors to prepare her medical reports for Court. He became a steadfast protector of Maksu and us. He even brought his lovely wife along for some of his working trips to Malaysia to meet us.

So emotionally involved with our case he became, he asked that he be excused as solicitor assisting the barristor when the matter went to trial as he was visibly emotionally invested in our case and did not want to create issues which can be raised in objection for the other side. I remember those were the exact words he used and said to Nenda.

Nenda was devastated when he passed away as was the rest of our family. When Nenda and Atok visited the UK the year after he passed away, Nenda and Atok visited his lovely wife. His wife cried meeting Nenda and Atok and told us how much he cared for Maksu and the rest of us as the years passed.

It was in his memory, that I decided to become an advocate and solicitor. Somebody needs to take care of Maksu's legal affairs I thought. But at the time, I was in University Malaya, finishing my science-stream based matriculation. Nenda wanted me to be a doctor like Bonda. I was doing very well but knew that I did NOT want to be a doctor.

As my finals dawned, I realised that if I continued to do well I would definitely get the offer to do medicine which Nenda would never let me turn down. And so I decided to do the unthinkable, I purposely flunked a subject. Even with one F for a subject, my pointer was in the 3.33 region because I obtained A's in the rest. Nenda and Atok was upset beyond belief and I was upset that I made them upset. But I was also relieved, no being a doctor for me.

But it was during this time, Allah showed me the importance of obtaining approval from your parents for anything that you do in life. With their disapproval of my rebellion, I was turned down at every corner. I could not get into the law programme in UM or UIA as my matriculation was science based and was out of time to apply for the UITM intake. UITM does not accept science based matriculation for its arts based programmes either. 

I entered a private college and took up law while appealling to UITM, hoping for a big break.

At that time I realised the heartbreak I caused Nenda and Atuk by doing what I did. We were not even on speaking terms. They simply could not understand how their daughter could have failed a subject. They did not know that I purposely did what I did. I was too afraid of telling Nenda that I wanted to be something completely different from what she envisioned me doing. And so I had a chat with Bonda. Bonda eventually spoke to Nenda and told her the truth. I did not know what happened but Nenda and Atok then gave their blessing and became my greatest supporter then on.

With their blessing, my fate did a 180. My uncle helped me in securing a spot in the law faculty for an interview for the 2nd intake. I cannot thank my uncle enough for his help. Prof Darby became the dean of the Law Faculty in UITM. He went against normal procedure and convention by scouting for science stream based students to put in his law programme. For the 2nd intake I was called into his room where he explained to me that I, along with a handful of other students was his 'social experiment'. He became my favourite lecturer of all time. I cannot thank him enough for daring to be different.

The rest as they say is history...

And I am still goes without saying that this is a profession I chose to be in because I am passionate about it and this is who I have always wanted to be.

But these days, I find myself increasingly frustrated with the people in my profession. A few days back I went to FC for a case management where 4 rather senior counsels appeared. Needless to say, I was the youngest there. When the matter came up for case management, everybody rushed for a seat leaving me, the only female in the bunch, standing up. I would have happily offered and given up a seat for a more senior member of the Bar, but the least any one of them could do was to offer me one and I would have politely declined [chivalry is dead, No?]. 

Never the matter, the CM went on. Parties could not agree on a hearing date common to all. One senior member actually insisted on fixing a date in March of April, knowing full well that we were not free. It escalated into a shouting match rather with him eventually saying that it was not his business to care about other people's free dates and he was free and everybody else could very well write in for an adjournment. This went on to a full blown war between the rest of the counsels and went on for a good 40 minutes. And here I was standing, watching these 4 people arguing like children. And so I turned to look at the senior member  and addressed the registrar at the same time and said 'Sir [senior member], Tuan [Registrar], we cannot fix a date for hearing which is not convenient to ALL counsels. This beats the purpose of this entire case management exercise. Doing such a thing would tantamount to nothing less than a miscarriage of justice' . The person glared at me like 'miscarriage of justice' was a foreign word!

He then ignored me and said 'So Tuan, March or April?'. And for the first time in a LONG time, I lost my temper. To which I responded 'We have gone past March and April already haven't you noticed?  We passed those months during the first 20 minutes of your pointless arguing, which then continued for another 20 minutes!!'. He was finally quiet. All of them became quiet. In fact, the whole place became very quiet. Then quietly they all agreed to a date in July where all counsels were free.

I noticed that the 3 counsels took the effort to shake my hand afterwards as if for the first time they acknowledged my existence in the room. One patted me in the back telling me how brave I was. One offered me a job (I seem to be getting this a lot these days). One took down my phone number (strange)
and magically started remembering my name. The one who started all the shouting, left in a huff.

But my mood changed for the rest of the day. What was so brave or great about me losing my temper? Should we not reserve arguments in court on merits and not something so trivial about the fixing of dates? What was the whole point of them arguing for 40 minutes while I stood there in my 5 inch heels? Chivalry is certainly dead isn't it?

And that is just but one instance of my frustrations. I am at the point of completely being jaded in a profession which I profess an undying love for. 

Sigh..... I don't know what to do...

Monday, March 12, 2012

Fly away little angel...

Nadirah's remains have been found.

She was found burned in a kelapa sawit plantation.

She was ... and forever will be 5...

What is happening to this country?

Please protect our children, Ya Allah for they are your gifts to us.

Friday, March 9, 2012


There are just some things you see or hear which just disturbs you and makes you reflect on your life and the people around you. I have had a whole week of those...

Early this week I saw 2 friends of mine on FB having a political debate (if you could call it that) about the issue of the handicapped farmer who was stopped all aid from the Sarawak Assistant Minister of Modernisation and Agriculture because of his political affiliations. One naturally was condemning the ruling party coalition while the other of course, was acting in its defence. As the debate heightened and name calling about that political party and this political party started to surface, I asked them 'Wait guys, has anybody thought about the farmer?'. In usual fashion of course, this being Malaysia, I was met with overwhelming silence. So, whilst everyone was talking about how cruel and/or mean one political party is over the other, no one cared about the fate of the handicapped farmer. Not really.

And today I saw on FB a video of an old, aging mother who has been abandoned by her child and/or family and/or whoever in a budget hotel. Even the reporter (a male no less) who covered the story was openly sobbing as the old, teethless makcik (whose words you cannot really make out) cried her heart out. I was disturbed because I was reminded of something I read regarding filial obligations on FB as well. I realise that our generation (and by this I mean mine) tries to rationalise almost everything, even obligations we owe to the most sacred of persons, our parents. What I read actually makes perfect logical sense of course, but then again there are some things in life which logic simply plays no part in, you know what I mean? I cannot help but wonder whether these rationalisations questioning the duty in which we owe our parents which I read about are what brought that crying, ailing and toothless makcik to that hotel, only to be left there.

I am a parent myself and know that one day, I will outlive my usefulness. I will grow old and will not see as well, would have all my teeth fall out and may need assistance to walk, eat, bathe, wear my clothes. I know that I have made my own choices when I decided to have children, to carry each of them in my belly for 9 months, to endure the pain of labour, to spend the remainder of my youth providing for them the best I can and how I try to be the best parent I could to them. I know that my children did not have the privilege of choosing the parents that they perhaps would have wished to have as opposed to just me and Aries. I know all that.

At the back of my mind I just wonder, would my children one day tell me 'You chose to have me as a child but I did not choose you as my mother'? Would my children one day tell me 'It is your job and responsibility to raise me, but I am under no duty to do the same'? or that 'You did not do a good job as a mother'?

Would I be crying to a camera, unable to speak and having strangers bathe me, change my diapers and feed me like what I saw today?

Disturbed I am, to say the least...

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I am my Father's Daughter

"I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much."
~ Hedy Lamarr

It was my father's birthday on 04.03.2012.

It is extremely hard for me to describe how much my father means to me, and as I type this post I can feel my heart swell with extreme emotions of love, admiration, fear, name it. All jumbled up inside.

How can you express in mere words how someone of such stature and influence in your life means to you? I for one, in this post... shall try.

When people ask me about my father or when I speak of him, my mind fills up with images, like a slideshow that plays in your head.

I remember how when we were living in the UK and were poor. I do know that we were better off than the JPA scholars but life was still not the easiest. My father worked as a cleaner to make some extra money on the side apart from the scholarship money and benefits that my mother and us siblings were given by the British Government. As my mother was busy studying, my father made a point to learn how to cook and clean the house.

I remember how he would walk us to school everyday and pick us up from school after it finished. He would feed us, clothe us, he would take us to our friends' houses to play, he made a point of knowing the names of all our friends.

And then Airiel's Maksu met with an accident. Nenda went into a full blown depression. For 3 months Maksu was in a coma and for 3 months Nenda did not want to meet Bonda and I. My father held the family together. He had to put us up at a friend's house to stay for the 3 months because he had to be there for Nenda and to watch over Maksu.

I remember how he would visit us everyday, sometimes he would take us home and spend some time with us while he had a quick shower, cooked something for himself and us and cook some food  to bring to Nenda. Nenda stayed at the hospital and never left for those 3 months. So it was my father who was a constant presence and made us feel that everything would be ok. He would walk with us to school in the mornings, whether we were at a neighbour's house or we were with him.

I remember Maksu then woke up from her coma. Wake up she did, but with permanent brain damage and having her left side skull cap removed, recovery was a long way away, perhaps almost impossible. Nenda slowly recovered and started seeing us again. We moved back home. For that period of time, my father would walk us to school every morning,  take 2 buses and one train ride to reach the hospital to be with Maksu and Nenda. Before school ends he would take 2 more buses and a train ride to reach home, do the laundry and cook, pick us up from school, eat with us, pack some food for nenda and then would take another 2 bus rides and a train ride with us to go to the hospital. At night after Maksu fell asleep, we would all go home via 2 more bus rides and a train ride. And this would be repeated everyday until we left for Malaysia after Maksu was well enough.

And we returned to Malaysia. I remember how in a family meeting (our family believed in discussing all matters out in the open and we have had formal family meetings ever since I could remember), my father announced that he quit his job as a teacher to take care of Maksu. We had filed court proceedings in the UK against the company who crashed into us, but it would be years (10 to be exact) before the proceedings would be over. We were broke, and could not afford a maid to take care of Maksu. My father agreed to sacrifice his ego, future prospects of his job, his social standing and stay at home to take care of Maksu.

I remember how Maksu could not afford a wheelchair at the time, and so my father CARRIED her in his arms everywhere we went. From the house to the car, from the car to the house. For the alternative medicine treatments at some random villages where there was no wheelchair access, my father would carry maksu in her arms even though we later managed to buy a wheelchair.

So he would bathe Maksu, feed her, talk with her, know her tantrums. He would take her out to the park and forced her to exercise with his own version of physio. But he did not only take care of Maksu, no. He washed, cooked and cleaned. He would take us to school and pick us up from school. All this he did without complaint as Nenda was working as the sole breadwinner of the family.

I remember that Nenda wanted to further her studies and obtain a PHd. I know that my father has spent his entire life in Ipoh and that was where all his friends and all our relatives were. His political career was thriving in Ipoh. But my father supported Nenda. He left all of the things that was dear to him behind to support Nenda in her studies and we moved to KL.

I remember how my father cooked, cleaned and continued to take care of Maksu, Bonda and I in KL. But it was not just us, no. After my father would send us to school, he would send Nenda to UPM with Maksu in tow, while waiting for Nenda to finish her work for her thesis, he would take Maksu to the park and exercise Maksu. And then he would go home, do the laundry, cook and clean the house. He would pick us up from school, drop us at home so we can take care of Maksu and then rush to UPM to pick Nenda up. On weekends where we could watch over Maksu, he would drop Nenda off and wait for Nenda. He was at the UPM grounds so much that a lot of the people there would know him by name!.

I remember how it was my father who took me to the hospital when I was in pain with contractions and later gave birth to Airiel. And I did tell you  in my previous posts how my father would always be there for me, would rush to my side when I have problems, like when I was locked out of my car in the middle of the highway. He was there when Aries was not able to be.

And now my father spends a lot of time with Airiel. At times when I have to rush to Court, he would send Airiel to school. Despite being in his fifties, he still insists on sending and picking up Nenda to and from her office. Despite Bonda and I being in our late 20s reaching our 30s, he still insists on getting Nenda to call us everytime we are late from work getting home so he knows where we are.

MasyaAllah. I cannot explain what a man my father is. The above, even all of the above cannot accurately describe all the sacrifices he has made for his family.

My love, respect and admiration for all that he is, words just fail me.

Happy Birthday Daddy.

"Dear Allah, please do not grant any other place but the highest of the heavens for my father, for there is no other place that is befitting of him. Amin"

I am my father's daughter. Then, now and forevermore.

Monday, March 5, 2012

A weekend of hits and misses

Weekends are usually great for me, but the last weekend I had, well it was a bittersweet.

It was great to have Aries back for the weekend, but it was just one of those weekends where you get tired of the routine of being a weekend husband and wife. I was fresh being in tears (in the office no less on a Friday evening) after Nenda and Atuk wanted me to come home early as they had to go and balik kampung but I couldn't as I had to rush something.

It made me feel like I am a bad mother. And I honestly can withstand any crap anyone throws at me, save for anything that is related to my son. It was not anything really, just Atuk and Nenda saying that I should come home early so that Airiel won't  be at home alone with her nanny, and me being overly sensitive. But I was upset and annoyed regardless. I felt annoyed that Aries can be away for so long and be here on the weekends and that was totally acceptable and normal. But if I was late for one day out of a week, I feel like I am not trying hard enough to be at home. Sigh. Its not like Atuk and Nenda said anything, its just how I feel, like I am not doing or trying hard enough. It affects me to no end.

So in the end, Aries had to listen to me talking about how I wanted him home more often for the whole 40 mins drive from LCCT to home at 1.00 a.m in the morning. Poor him, he stayed completely quiet throughout.

The weekend was great because I took Airiel to the Taman Desa Waterpark (which honestly is a great, cheap and quaint little alternative to overcrowded Sunway Lagoon) and after about an hour or so, Airiel started to warm up to the slides and water (he has a fear of the pools as he fell into our fish pond when he was rather small, courtesy of one negligent, always on the phone with boys maid who is now no longer with us).

But it was also in Taman Desa Waterpark did I drop my beloved Samsung SII into the water. It was my fault. I wanted to take it along so that I can take pics of Airiel playing, but in my haste to get into the water with him, I dropped it. I wasn't that upset at first, but after about 5 hours later and when my Samsung SII couldn't be switched on, I realised that it was really a goner. Sigh. 2 thousand smackaroonies gone in flames or rather, gone underwater. Sigh

The weekend was great because we got to go out together as a family. But this weekend was supposed to be the weekend that I got Stevie back, but then Aries couldn't do it because his version of spoiler yang 'up' skit tak sampai lagi. So we had to drive around in Bambi. And suddenly on Sunday afternoon the front skirting of Bambi fell down after Aries reversed the Bambi out of the house. Standardla kan, nasib kereta yang terlampau lowered. And I got all flustered and worried because I didn't want to drive around in an unsafe car, I mean if any other skirting jatuh, Aries won't be here to help. I would be alone, and that thought freaked me out. Sigh

And you know the piece of work I was supposed to rush. Of course I was not able to do it after being so upset on a Friday evening right? So after sending Aries to the airport on the Sunday, coming back home, playing and watching Star Wars  with Airiel and putting him to bed, I finished the work, circulated the same to bosses at 2.00 a.m and ended up unable to sleep as my mind was working in a rushed daze.

I had a fitful sleep, woke up early and groggy and rushed to the office super early to finalise and file everything TODAY. Yes, TODAY. I drafted something on Sunday midnight to file and serve on Monday. Sigh.

Like I said, hits and misses. Hits and misses.

I hope the remainder of the week will be better.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Krabi Food [Part 4] - Street Food

Ok, this is the last part of my Krabi food update.

Just some pics on the street food available in Ao nang.

Aries' Nasi Goreng. Freshly made and piping hot 

This would be on every table on every roadside stall in Ao nang. We loved it and makan semua mantah mantah. I still remember this caucasian giving us a funny look. Oh c'mon, how different is it than you average western salad? Poyolah org putih ni

My Paad Thai. A bit on the sweet side. Rasa macam kat kelate plak. Haha. Tapi still sedap.

In the rush to makan, I forgot to take pics of the roadside stall. Nama stall pun tak tahu, one thing I know is that there are one whole row of stalls kat situ before you start seeing the bars lining up.

Yang penting kena tanya dulu, "Halal yes?" and lagi best kalau kakak yang jual tu pakai tudung. Yelah kat Ao nang tu mana ada pensijilan halal JAKIM ke ape kan. Kalau diorg cakap ye, tawakkal dan yakinlah makanan di situ halal.

Ok guys. Happy Friday!!!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Random, Part 1 [2012]

This is a completely random post, but I absolutely have to share the things that have made me smile today.

This is my current absolute favourite pen at the moment, a cheapo RM7.00 fountain pen. I love the way my office signature comes out on this, and it looks quite nice when I scribble stuff. Haha 

My new theme I downloaded for Red. Bukankah ini sgt comel?

Senyum jgnn tak senyum!