Thursday, May 29, 2014

Mother Pours Boiling Water on 6 Year Old Child - Yes B*&^# you must be going to HELL

"All parents damage their children. It cannot be helped. Youth, like pristine glass, absorbs the print of its handlers. Some parents smudge, others crack, a few shatter childhoods completely into jagged little pieces, beyond repair..." ~ Mitch Alborn

Warning : Ini adalah post EMO. 

That is my FB rant this morning.

And I am far from done. When I read the news this morning, my heart just froze with fear. And anger. And grief. 

I cannot read any kind of news that involves child casualties these days. It will just make me cry and will most definitely ruin the rest of my day, or week, or for how long I don't know.

What makes it worse in this case is that the perpetrator is either the birth mother or the step mother. The word 'MOTHER' seems almost inappropriate here. The rest of my comments summarises exactly how I feel.

This kind of news strikes me at the heart because it is also my greatest fear. As a single mom, not only do I have the fear of being burned again if I ever get into another relationship/marriage, my greatest phobia is how it would affect Airiel.

When I became single, I made a promise to myself to never do 2 things ever again:-

1. Cry in front of my son unless they were tears of happiness; and

2. To be so selfish as to let the interests of someone else (mine included) before him and I promised that I would always protect him.

Maintaining an amicable relationship with Airiel's father is also a priority to me because we will always be his parents, and that must come first before anything else to me. Yg dah lepas tu lepaslah, nak marah lama lama buat apo? Cepat tua deyy... 

Reading news like this just makes me so angry.

I hope these irresponsible and cruel parents will hang for their crime. And rot in hell as well because there must be a special place in hell somewhere for a mother/stepmom/father/stepfather/parent who abuses a child who cannot defend themselves, or those parents who just stand by and watch while their spouses abuses their child.

May Allah bless you little angel boy Mohammad Akhil Mustaqim Rashidy. You will be forever 6. Have fun playing up there with my angel Akif and Aisha.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone, except the parents of this angel boy. They should have no peace, or love. Let the ghosts of their sins haunt them till their dying day.

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

100 Happy Days Challenge - Day 51 - 55

"Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality...
~ Edgar Allen Poe

Hey readers,

Time for the 100 Happy Days Challenge Updates.

Day 51 - Fresh off my flight touching down, I glanced through my mail and came across this. Thank you readers, you guys are awesome ...

Day 52 - When I say people are overly sensitive about religion here in Malaysia, I wasn't joking. You can find this everywhere in the UK. This one was at the airport. Gunalah hak berfikir sebelum hak untuk bersuara...jika terpelajar sila guna hak Miranda...:p

Day 53 - A cute sign I found in one of the shop in King's Cross in Leicestershire. Now up in my office. Hehehe

Day 54 - Bottoms Up Mateys!! A find at a thrift shop in Castleton (remember my sailor hat and pic I posted up in IG? Yeah that shop!! hehe).  A new mug as a holder for my evergrowing pen collection.

Day 55 - The city of Delft! Check out those awesome clouds!! Gua jatuh cinta tergolek golek. I am here with cecilia, the hot mama who together with her awesome hubs Arnaud, played tourist guide. I love you guys!

Alright readers. We are in the middle of the week. Let's persevere until Friday.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone.

Monday, May 26, 2014

The Everly, Putrajaya

"I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me.." ~ Dylan Thomas

Hello readers,

It's a Monday. I would like to start by congratulating the Malaysian Thomas Cup team. Even though we lost it was a good run! Fought till the end we did. Kudos and R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Anyway, my friend told me when she first read my itinerary 'Dude, you're gonna need a vacation to recover from this vacation' hahahaha. Err, so I did.

We had a family weekie last weekend at The Everly Putrajaya.

Check out the room. Comfy bed, toiletries, spacious bathroom and there is a day bed as well hehe.

Love, love the decor!

Pros :-

1. Free parking (gasp, yes the hotel offers free parking);

2. Big and spacious room and bathroom; 

3. Minimalist, modern decor of the lobby; and

4. Close to Alamanda (2 mins walk.)


The service at the buffet breakfast. The buffet breakfast itself is not bad, food was quite good. There were too many people, not enough seats and poor service coordination by the staff. I think there were not enough staff to cater to the guests and thats the main problem. It is the first time in weekie history that our family had to sit at separate tables, and there were guests literally waiting for a seat because there were not enough seats for the guests. Also a problem is the fact that at a table for 5 or 6, 2 people will be sitting. I mean apahal right? The staff is suppose to sit 6 at a table of 6 and not let just 2 people sit sesuka hati.

Anyways, the link for Everly is here.

Have a good rest of the week!

Friday, May 23, 2014

Bulls Head Inn, Foolow

"No man ever steps in the same river twice, for its not the same river and he's not the same man" ~ Heraclitus

Hello readers,

It's a Friday! 

I am down with a superbug. Poor Airiel because this morning he woke up real early, and just stayed with me, stroking my forehead, checking my temperature (according to him la kann haha), lying down beside me and giving me a hug until it was time for him to go to school. Sweetheart sungguh anak mama sorang ni.

Anyways, I want to share with you guys the inn I stayed in. It is funny because Shane, Sri's soulmate booked a room at the Bulls Inn, Foolow  thinking it was the one with the same name in Castleton. We only realised this when we got to the Bulls Inn in Castleton and they thought Sri and I was Mr. and Mrs Smith (yes, for real). Hahaha. Anyways, after we got to foolow, all our apprehensions melted away because it was simply beautiful.

View from the back of the inn where we parked the car.

View from my room. 

Now castleton is a pretty small town... but foolow is even smaller. Consisting of a few streets and houses and this inn of course. It is completely secluded and beautiful.

The beautiful and spacious bathroom with a full shower. 

 The lovely black and white painting on the wall.

 The pretty wallpaper

 My uber comfy sofa bed!! Ngeee

Sri's four poster awesome bed. Check out the luxurious bedsheet and comforter.

How cute is this??

With a nice sized TV

The dining area downstairs where we had breakfast.

My vegetarian breakfast and the ambiance of the area in Foolow.

Total damage for the room is 95 pounds but since I was sharing with Sri, we split the costs. But it was definitely worth the price. The experience of getting away from the hustle and bustle, well guys this is pretty much it. Doesn't get any more quiet than this.

The link to the Bull Head Inn, Foolow is here.

Until my next update.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Monday, May 19, 2014

100 Happy Days Challenge - Day 41 to day 50

"She was the greatest force of all because she never chose to destroy. Instead she went off into darkness seeking out the demons and those cast aside, not to drive them away but rather  to show to them that even they were capable of creating the most unimaginable light" ~ Tyler Kent White

Okay guys,

I need to finish the 100 Happy Days challenge updates. Here goes.

Day 41 - The place where the unseen roam. This is Bradgate Park in Leicester guys. It is breathtakingly beautiful. I fell in love immediately. Look at those clouds. Aren't they absolutely soooo soooo sexy? I couldn't stop admiring them.

Day 42 - "I was quiet, but I was not blind" ~ Jane Austen. This is the view I had on my journey to Castleton from Leicester. I just couldn't even explain how beautiful it was. It was absolutely mesmerizing. 

Day 43 - This picture was in one of my previous post. This is the view I had up from Peveril Castle. My friend showed me a quote from Paul Coelho when we were up here that reminded her of me. And it was so perfect for the setting.
"Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge..."

Day 44 - Mengenal erti rindu. This was also in one of my previous post. I missed Airiel all the time, like crazy miss him when I was away. It's like I could physically feel my heart breaking everytime I heard his voice on the phone.

Day 45 - Err, some of the shopping I did in Beicester Village. I am officially broke hahah. No more spending until the end of the year, huhu. Although kindred Hadi firmly believes that the contrary is true. Ahhh, I shall keep this resolution!

Day 46 - "A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free.." ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

Day 47 - Wandering solo in Paris. This place oozes of age and history everywhere. Eiffel Tower is every bit as breathtaking as they say it is. The skies in Europe never fails to take my breath away. Check out the sunset.

Day 48 - "I amsterdam". Hahaha, get it? Arnaud, a dear friend of mine took me around and showed me EVERYTHING in Amsterdam. I will just end by saying that 'whatever happens in Amsterdam, stays in Amsterdam' hehehe *wink*

Day 49 - I went back to Paris to watch the 'Moulin Rouge' show. And went around sightseeing solo again.

Day 50 - It will all be alright, I'll be home tonight... I'm coming back home...

Yeay, I'm pretty much done!!! Phewww.

Tons of work to do tomorrow. The rest of the pics on my vaccay is up on IG and FB. Malas nak upload sini. I'll just do some posts on the windmills and the hotels I stayed in, so that if anyone wants to travel to these locations, this would I hope help them.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone.

Sunday, May 18, 2014

Lets Get Lost 2014 - Part 5 ~ Travelling Alone

"Nothing is more terrifying than fearlessness..." ~ Cornelia Funke 

Hi Readers,

Be prepared to read a barrage of posts in response to all your emails. The most common question I have been getting is this "Who are you travelling with?" and as soon as they know I am travelling alone, they go "Are you crazy?".

Well, I have to admit that I am a little crazy *grin*. But honestly, I have to tell you guys that after what I went through the last year, I have lost all sense of fear, and this is not a joke.

There is nothing worse for a mother than to lose her child, and it happened to me and I survived that. There is also nothing worse for a wife to have her marriage fall apart, and that also happened to me and I survived that as well. It was also crazy that both happened at pretty much the same time and all at once, so you can imagine the trauma I went through.

I find that now after surviving something like that, I have become absolutely fearless. If somebody asks me today 'Let's go jump out a plane and skydive', my answer will be 'Where's the plane?'. 

If somebody says 'Let's go jump into a pond' when its 10 degrees out. I'll be the first one in.

I reflect on life and how tough things were and how it can get tougher as I live in a society where single mothers are shunned and looked down upon, and I just say 'Bring IT'.

Okay maybe I am afraid of a few things still like :-

1. Losing Airiel;
2. Clowns; and
3. Runny Egg Yolks.

Hahahaha. Moving along...

I made the most natural decision in the world to decide to do this alone when my travel buddy couldn't make it.

Errr, I only told my family when I came back safe and sound ... of course.  Haha.

On my travels, I must say that I have experienced nothing but kindness from those around me. You must understand, that a muslim female, wearing a hijab and travelling alone is something you do not see very often in Europe or UK. Needless to say, I attracted attention everywhere I went. At some places in France,  the wearing of the hijab is still prohibited so you can imagine the Islamophobia that is rampant.

But people were more curious than anything else, and some were a bit suspicious. I got held up at immigration on my travels all the time but the key is to be good natured about it and answer the questions honestly.

The no. 1 question I get asked in Paris and they would just flat out ask is 'Are you Muslim?' because muslims they usually see are Middle Easterners and I look Chinese so it doesn't make sense to them. Haha

I have experienced everything from getting free taxi rides, to people buying me breakfast and coffee, to having people helping me carry my luggage to people showing me the direction of locations when it is a 15min walk against the direction of where they were going.

A couple from Sweden walked me back to my hotel in Paris as I was wondering alone in the Eiffel Tower area because they say I shouldn't be out by myself at such a late hour. It did not help that they bought me coffee first. Gua sebak huhu. I was so touched I forgot to take pictures.

People also find it amusing because I prayed everywhere, like bila dah desperate mana mana pun jadi. In trains mostly as I travelled. They even helped me spray water on my hands as I showed them how to ambil wudhu', absolutely fascinated they were.

But always be cautious, be safe and take safety precautions. Then you pray for the best, and just let the rest flow and happen.
Trust me, there is beauty and kindness in human hearts everywhere. Believe that it exists, and it will reveal itself to you. I have seen it in the flesh, and I believe it.

Travelling alone is absolutely liberating and is something I will definitely do again.  
My friend gave me this, and I think it is apt.

If your dreams don't scare you readers, then it's just not big enough of a dream.
Everything you can ever imagine is real.
So go out and do it.
Much love from me and Airiel.
Peace and love to everyone.

Saturday, May 17, 2014

100 Happy Days - Day 34 - 40

"There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must feel what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life." ~ Alexandre Dumas

Hello readers,

I am back!

More on my whirlwind tour of 3 countries later. I am also responding to all your emails, please bear with me.

But for now, I have to update the progress on my 100 Happy Days Challenge. Here it goes. Not updating it all at once, penat huhu.

Day 34 - "Selama mata terbuka, sampai jantung tak bergetar, selama itupun aku mampu untuk mengenangmu..". These days I look and remember Akif with fondness, not so much as grief anymore. There is instead a sense of yearning, of missing him. It's kind of like happy and sad at the same time.

Day 35 - Grandma gua pun pandai selfie weihhh, SWAG hahaha.

Day 36 - Labour Day relaxation with the prince. This was taken at the new Shah Alam library inside KGSAS. Please take your kids. Airiel loves it here and there is a lake behind the library. Scenic and fun education for the kids.

Day 37 - Ni gaya apa plak dah ni? Hahahaha. 

Day 38 - "Because you are as cute as an owl" katanye hehehe

Day 39 - How's about that for a t-shirt sign? #toofunny

Day 40 - Views on my journey to Leicester from Heathrow. MasyaAllah, what a view...

More updates later readers.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone.

Sunday, May 11, 2014

A Mother I am...

"Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood - finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without" Jodi Picoult

Mama misses you Airiel, angel Akif, angel Aisha...Mama loves you more than Mama can describe...

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers out there...

May we be blessed...

Friday, May 9, 2014

Lets Get Lost 2014 - Part 4

"Blessed are those who do not fear solitude, who are not afraid of their own company, who are not always desperately looking for something to do, something to amuse themselves with, something to judge... "- Paul Coelho

 And wherever I go, I take you with me Akif, I take you with me....

Thursday, May 1, 2014

Let's Get Lost 2014 - Part 3 (Destination?)

"We travel, some of us forever, to seek other states, other lives, other souls" ~ Anais Nin


My soul longs to wander, in seclusion, in isolation, in silence. To set sights on the wonderful world created by the Almighty that my angel Akif will never have a chance to see. When Airiel is bigger I shall take him everywhere with me, my little bodyguard, my prince, my heart, my soul.

But this is one trip I need to take alone... for there are burdens which only I can bear, journeys and paths which only I can take... and demons that only I can face and fight.

This shall be my last update for a while on the blog. I shall post instead on FB, WeChat, IG or Dayre while I am travelling.

Any guesses on where I am going?

Angel Akif, mama won't be able to visit for a while.

Airiel, I am going to miss you so much son. 

Ingat cinta mama. 

Cinta mama bukan sekadar di mata.

Cinta mama hadir di dalam jiwa.

Peace and love to everyone.