Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Blogging From My Iphone

This is a test. Am blogging from my Iphone using this new app. A bit jakunlah kan hehe. Ok, test over!!! Hehe Bye

Monday, March 28, 2011

Lindungilah keluargaku Ya Allah

2 weeks ago, Atuk began showing the same symptoms he had when I was 8 months pregnant.

It is not that I believe in these things, Bonda is a medical doctor. So when it happened the last time, we took Atok to a hospital. He was sick and getting even more so. His tummy makin kembung dan kembung. The doctors operated on him and guess what? They could not find anything wrong with him. We took him home.

When science failed us, we turned to traditional medicine and our worst fears were confirmed. It was witchcraft. It was penyakit 'busung'. And for those who know these things, they would know that 'busung' itu would only be sent by someone to another to KILL. And my father was indeed 'nyawa-nyawa ikan'. But despite that 'person' and his efforts to kill, Allah is greater, Allah is the one who decides life and death, and my father recovered.

And yes, 2 weeks ago we saw the same symptoms again. And we wasted no time in treating him the traditional way... and despite that 'person' and his efforts to play 'God' over another person's life, Allah saved my father again.

The house is in chaos again, cabinets closing and opening on its own, doors opening and closing on its own.  A voice resembling Atok could be heard outside when he was upstairs sleeping or out doing charity work. Balls of light surrounding the house compound, and that is only the beginning of it...

After going through this over and over again, my fear is just now replaced by ANGER. I am angry. Who would do this to another person. I may hate and vehemently hate someone but I would not go down this low to exact revenge, iman masih ada di dada ini. So it begs the question as to who would do this?

Aries juga begitu, kurus, lemah. Cannot focus, harus juga di bawa berubat. And just like my father, he was and maybe still is a victim. Again, who would do this? As off last week, Aries also diuji Allah with something else dan sehingga kini, tiada yg pasti lagi.

Mungkin Allah ingin mengingatkan kami akan kasih sayangNYA, mungkin ALLAH ingin menghapuskan dosa. That is what I tell Atuk and Aries. But that does not explain the human behaviour that has brought on such suffering in our family. Who would do this? I cannot within me understand or fathom such cruelty and envy that must be present in a person's heart for them to do something of this nature. Betullah kata Atok 'Darah samanya merah, namun hati manusia tiada siapa yang tahu'.

 لاَ إِلَهَ إِلاَّ أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ

"Sesungguhnya tiada Tuhan (yang dapat menolong) melainkan Engkau (ya Allah)! Maha Suci Engkau (daripada melakukan aniaya, tolongkanlah daku)! Sesungguhnya aku adalah dari orang-orang yang menganiaya diri sendiri"(Al-Anbiya’ : 87

… Allah lah Tuhan kami dan Tuhan kamu, bagi kami amalan-amalan kami dan bagi kamu amalan-amalan kamu. Tidak ada pertengkaran antara kami dan kamu. Allah menghimpunkan antara kita dan kepadaNya lah kita kembali. (Asy-Syura : 15)

Ya Allah, lindungilah keluargaku dari penganiayaan dan fitnah org-org yang zalim. Sesungguhnya Engkaulah pelindung org-org yang lemah. This is all that I am capable of doing.

Seperti kata Kak Thalha, kami tidak akan membalas dosa dengan dosa, tapi dengan doa. Allahlah pelindung kami.

Readers, please pray for our family, we are currently going through a tough time. But make no mistake... we are tougher.


Monday, March 21, 2011

My Airiel is now 2

This post is a belated one. On 20.03.2011 at 2.47p.m., my Airiel turned 2 years old.

We were on our way back from Taiping to KL, attending my counsin's engagement so no celebration.

But my heart spoke volumes. When I think about how his presence has blessed my life, I cannot cry hard enough, cannot thank Allah enough, cannot laugh enough.

He's smart enough to hug me when he sees me upset. Smart enough to run towards me when I come home from work, smart enough to wave goodbye when I go off to work. He hears me saying 'mama sakit badan lah Airiel' and he now knows how to give a massage. He says 'Adik uyut' which means 'urut' of course and pinches me here and there and I just laugh away.

I tell him about my day and he listens intently and then repeats what I say. We both laugh our heads off afterwards.

I know when he looks at me that he does not want anything else but my love. I know that no matter how bad a day I have at work, he will be at home waiting for me with those puppy eyes.

At the end of the day, I am ok.

He has made my life complete.

Only Allah knows how large a mother's heart can grow to accomodate the love she has for her child. And that is how I feel. Like there is so much love in this heart for him, so much so that it overflows sometimes in the form of tears. I do not know how to explain how this feels.

I do not believe in having birthday parties for little children as I do not think they know what it means. It annoys me when people ask me 'why?'...'why have you never had one?'. It seems like I love him less for not throwing a big birthday bash since I can afford it. Such is the culture these days. Maybe when he is bigger and can choose whether he wants to have one but now? No...

I just do not believe in it. A cake, a little doa selamat with family members sahaja suffices. I just do not believe in having big celebrations untuk benda sebegini. Membazir sungguh. Baiklah bersedekah ke org fakir miskin atau buat makan makan untuk mereka atas nama Airiel, bukankah itu yang lebih afdal? Again this is my view for my own child. I care not about what others do for theirs.

I hope he will read this one day and realise how loved he is, birthday party or not.

Your children need your presence more than your presents.  ~Jesse Jackson

Mama loves you Airiel, heart and soul.

One day God willing, mama will have more time to spend with you. To more years to come together, you and me. InsyaAllah.


Not a lot of pics pon taken this weekend. Although on Friday night managed to eat at VS, our fave place.

VS is Victoria Station ye? Not Victoria Secret hehehe...

Oysters which I cannot stand even the smell off 


This is my fave - siput babi 

My Steak

Aries' chilli rib, it was really nice

Owhhh... since i'm on the topis of food. might as well update the food we had at chilli's a couple of weeks back:-

Aries and his mojito (non-alcoholic) 

I can't remember the name of this appetiser...but it was delicious 

Aries gobbling away 

His steak which I can't remember what 

My Tennessee chicken and shrimp or something..it was so-so 

Anyways...last weekend I went back to my kampung. I have not been back in a long time due to bad relations with my relatives. Those who have been following this blog would have probably read what happened.

Anyways. We sponsored a couple of things for the engagement and Bonda was away in Penang for her clinic business, so I went lah.

I ignored people who did not matter. And was happy to be with the ones that were. I think that's the way I should view things from now on.

Only managed to snap 1 pic

Choffles cake utk hantaran tunang..hehe

Am a bit tired by work and recent events, the miscarriage, trauma jumpa saudara mara yg horror. So can't wait for the KK getaway with those that matter later on in April.

Have a great week ahead everybody!!!

Friday, March 18, 2011

A rat!!!...among other things

It's a Friday, alhamdulillah.

Some good news, my 2 week trial has been vacated because my clients have agreed to settle!!! Am so happy! 2 weeks of extra time which I badly need!!.

Glad as can be....

Owwh, but yesterday when I got back home after picking up Aries from the airport, makan makan and it was already late.

As I was getting ready to sleep, I saw IT!!! 

The infamous lone rat that has been terrorising the upper levels of the house! its shiny fur, its pinky hairless parts, I saw it first hand! I screamed my lungs out at 1 am in the morning. Naturally, it being 1 a.m, everyone ignored me.

I was deadly afraid but feel asleep anyway. At 3 something a.m I woke up and it was on the dashboard of my bed, right on top of my head! I was so scared, I couldn't find it in me to scream. I just opened the door and it graciously went out of my room.

I sat down on my bed, shook Aries and said to him 'Babe, this is war'. He managed to muster something like 'apa nak perang ni...jepun tu kan tsunami...sian' and then went back to sleep. Hish.

I don't know what to do guys. I went and got that buah pom pom which rats are deadly afraid of, but this lone rat just comes back after the buah buah tu shrivel after time.

I have cats, but they are too lazy to chase away the rat. They only drop by to eat.

I don't want to set traps because I do not want to harm it. I just want it to leave. How laaaaaa?

My greatest fear is to wake up and see it on me or worse...on my face!! Huargggh ... Nauzubillah


Am going to be at a cousin's engagement this weekend.

See you guys next week, if Allah willing.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Pergi tak Kembali

I was rushing work. Deadlines were looming over my head. I was already excused from a trial which I was supposed to assist the bosses on because there were not enough people in the team for the work to be spread out.

The clock shows 3.07p.m. Bonda calls me up and says "Hajar, Mak Ncik meninggal, pukul 1 tadi". I did not have anything to say except 'I didn't even know she was sick' and 'I can't go'.

And then I put down the phone. Nenda calls me up. She is crying. I tell her, I cannot go and leave all this work. She continues crying but says ok.

I put down the phone. And I remember something. The last time I saw her was during Aizul's wedding. I remember I was  the 1st one to see her arrive. I remember me, a 28 year old running towards her like a little child and giving her this huge bear hug. I remember  holding her hand and leading her to the wedding reception. I remember salam cium tangan dia because I had to go back early and I said to her 'Jumpa lagi'. There was no next time except for this.

I drop everything and tell Nenda, I am going.

We drive all the way to Bentong for the funeral. It was slightly drizzling. And after saying our goodbyes, came back home.

I came to know that she passed away in her sleep, just like her husband a few months back.

I don't understand when people tell me 'It was a beautiful funeral...'. Maybe it is something they want to convince themselves of so that they will feel better. I do not see any beauty, only grief.

I remember a saying by Khalil Gibran:-

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.  ~Kahlil Gibran

And he is right.  I am sad because the memories I had, that is all that I will ever have.The things that used to give me such much pleasure with her, I will never have them again. I will never be able to hug her again, I will never be able to hold her hand again. Never be able to say to her 'Jumpa lagi'. Never again.

Perginya, pergi yang abadi,
Pergi yang tiadanya kembali,
Amanlah roh di sana menanti,
Semoga dicucuri rahmat doaku dihati.

Monday, March 14, 2011

What a rush!!!

In continuation of my previous post...

I managed to finish the all-consuming submission, ALL 280 pages of it.


And then I look at my diary while doing my to do list this morning and saw the word "Reply Submissions.. due on xxxx..."

Sigh...hehehe. The adrenalin never stops. But at the end of the day, when you read your hard work, you know you have done your absolute best to produce quality work. And it gives you satisfaction.

Anyways... hectic week aside. I had quite a packed weekend too.


On Saturday, had an all day event with my girls with Sri for her pre-wedding thingy and Illa for her pre-natal thingy.

We went to Vila Manja and had ourselves a group spa/massage session. This place is great because it has prenatal spa which was great for Illa. Any of you guys who wants to try it out, leave a comment or pm me kay?

After spa, off to marmalade at BV for lunch!! And then a mani pedi session at Song Ai Ling's nail parlour!!!

We had tea and chatted away  and then had a light dinner at Alexis. What a day!!

We forgot to take any pics because we had so much fun!!


Me and my familia went to the Matta fair.

Sungguh rambang mata ok? We just went to survey and survey because we were only planning to to somewhere next year. This year is already full of plans. So we have narrowed it down to 2 places next year.

  •  Turkey, this is the place that Nenda wants to go to; and
  • Maldives.
Aries wants wants to go to the Gold Coast, but maybe next year right towards the end ke? Let's see how it goes.

As it is, we are already going to KK in April, Nenda is already going to NZ in September and me and Aries island vaccay in November.

Ohh, I am also depressed a lil bit sebab I accidentally unfollowed like 900 over sites on my google reader!!! There goes my fave online shopping haunts. Am in the slow process of retrieving them all.

Sob sob.

Next weekend, Airiel turns 2. I turn all sloppy. But there is something which has been annoying me about his birthday which I will blog about later.

Happy Monday darlinks!! Yess, that is apparently how the youngsters term the word. With a 'k'. Isshh... geli.

Have a good week ahead!!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Too little time

There are too many things to be done.

Trials lined up back to back until the end of the month starting next week.

Submission for the last trial to be sorted out in between.

Injunctions applications, other submissions, stay applications... submissions for appeals

And that's just the beginning...

These days it's hard for me to stay back, the clock shows 6.30 and all I think about is Airiel.

I picture him running for me with his arms open when I reach home, ucapkan salam and say out his name.

I just pack up and leave.

Too little time.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Food for the tummy and soul

Ok, this is going to be quite a long entry.

Overdue food escapades must be shared with other foodie friends.

Food for tummy

Ole Ole Bali

The table deco was pretty 

Felt like taking one but was not sure it was free 

This was my spaghetti bali style or something. The portions were to big and the food was so so 

My drink was nice, but I forgot the name...

Gino's Recipe

Beef Carpaccio, nothing to shout about as the mustard that was supposed to be on the beef as stated in the menu was missing and the beef slices were to thick

 Am loving this traditional chicken paella. The rice was fluffy and had great flavour.

Bonda's steak. She says it was nice.

Food for Soul

There has been food for my soul too...!!! Check it out:-

Pusat Sains Negara Dino Exhibition

Airiel was scared of the dino

Sunway Pyramid Wildlife Park

Airiel wanted to pull the feathers out of the peacock..hehe

Ohh, rest of the pics are up in FB.

Just a few more on Airiel's cuteness which I just have to post up here:-

His attempt at trying to look at an eagle from a certain angle

This is the pose he came up with when I said 'Adik, posing cepat!!'

This is what keeps me sane.

Until next time!!