5 Years of Marriage

Dearest Aries,

I am sorry I forgot to put up a post on our 5th anniversary!

Yes, it has been 5 years indeed last month, 30th!

“No long-term marriage is made easily, and there have been times when I've been so angry or so hurt that I thought my love would never recover. And then, in the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface. A bright little flashing fish of hope has flicked silver fins and the water is bright and suddenly I am returned to a state of love again — till next time. I've learned that there will always be a next time, and that I will submerge in darkness and misery, but that I won't stay submerged. And each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown. The best I can ask for is that this love, which has been built on countless failures, will continue to grow. I can say no more than that this is mystery, and gift, and that somehow or other, through grace, our failures can be redeemed and blessed.” 

― Madeleine L'Engle

Lets put up with each other some more years, shall we? For nostalgia's sake, I am putting up this pic of us.

Ok lah. Ini bukan tempat berjiwang jiwang.

Biarlah sampai syurga ... (although you  know statistically 99 % of the population according to our religion will actually go to hell [well, at least at first] right?)

Ever the realist, pessimist (combination of both),

Wifey...

Tentang Rasa

Dapatkah selamanya kita bersama, menyatukan perasaan kau dan aku

Dapatkah selamanya cinta ini kekal abadi sesampainya akhir nanti, selamanya... - Astrid

This is love my friends...truly, madly, deeply and unconditionally... Happy Monday!

We are 4..

Pejam celik, it has been 4 years since Aries held my father's hand and said 'Aku terima nikahnya....'

Things have not been easy since that day... but things that come easy for you are less memorable are they not? A favourite quote of mine on love was one that was by Louis De Bernieres, and it reflects what I have been through in so far as this institution is concerned:-

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. You and I have it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

There were times when I knew Aries was not 'in love' with me, and there were times when he knew I was not either and was ready to walk away. But we are, 4 years later still here...together

I do not know what the future holds for us...but I hope we can still be to each other what we were when we met 7 years ago...and so much more for the rest of our lives..

He was and still is...My Only Hope..

Biarlah cinta ini sampai syurga...Amin

Things that Matter

It was an exhausting weekend.

Airiel's nanny took the weekend off. So me and Aries had to run all our errands with Airiel in tow.

Too many things to do...and my, oh so little time to do them. Banks and more banks to withdraw RM, transfer RM...bayar bills here and there. And even then, masih ada errands yang tertunggak.

I picked up my baju raya from the tailor... wehheee, it looks gorgeous...! Berbaloi menghabiskan RM dan RM on it hehe.

Now, just the baju for Aries and Airiel when its closer to Raya.

On another note, rasa lega sangat bila dapat tunaikan niat nak hantar my MIL and FIL untuk umrah. Insyaallah, 2 minggu lagi they will be on their way to Tanah Suci.

Semoga murah lagi rezeki kita Aries *grin*. Can you believe dulu kita berdua bersusah payah tiada langsung RM masa study? Look how far we have come?

Despite the crazy weekend, I managed to fall in love with both of my boys again.

I can't help myself...Can you blame me hehe? Thank you for this happiness...ya Allah

This maybe my only post this week. A busy schedule lies ahead. We will see..

Welcome Home

"If you love somebody, let them go. If they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.."

As I said, I did not want to announce it on my blog until it was confirmed..and yes, it has been confirmed.

Today is Sunday and Aries is here...

I will not be sending him back to the airport today...or next week...or the week after that..

He is home....

Terima kasih Allah...

Thank you Aries..for being brave enough to take this step.

Semoga Tuhan memberkati kita sekeluarga

Amin..

A long time coming...

Me and Aries are ecstatic at the moment...

This indeed, has been a long time coming...

I do not want to announce it yet.... because I'm afraid of jinxing this whole thing ...

Will announce when the time is right...

Pinch me someone...because this cannot be real...!!!

Hehehe *gelak sampai terguling-guling*

It was 3 years ago today

Tak pernah sampai, namun tanganku sampai,
berdiri di daratan, namun aku lemas di dasaran,
suatu yang asing namun itulah ujian,
tali Allah jualah kita berpegang...


Happy 3rd Anniversary Suami


God Bless us..


Amin

Early anniversary present....

I am currently blogging from my Iphone. Airiel rosakkan mackie (my beloved macbook) so its currently at an apple hospital... sob sob. Nenda plak tgh pakai spare laptop so I can't use it plak. Sigh...

But not having my laptop has given me perspective...I am currently reading a book, something I have stopped doing since Airiel was born...and it feels great..

That said, this post is actually for Aries... so here goes.

Aries, I know our 3rd anniversary is still 8 days away, but it falls on a Tuesday and I have a trial on that day and won't be able to come down to celebrate. I know you have a very busy schedule too. So we won't be able to celebrate the night you promised my father that you would take care of me for the rest of my life, the night you took an oath before God to take me as your wife.

I thought of surprising you much later, tp dah kebetulan masuk kedai, so apa salahnye kan?

Airiel pun masuk gamba sekali..hehe

Aries and the pressies...

Hope you like them Aries..

Hehe, which begs the question... what is my anniversary present?

Ssshhh..nanti...tak siap lagi...tapi I'll give you guys a clue.. it's a 'Triple Excellent"... *grin*

P.S - This is not perfect, but this is love and Aries, I love you...truly, madly, deeply. Happy pre-3rd anniversary. 

Change takes courage

I would like to congratulate Aries for today.

He has obtained his PC and is back in court.

It was not an easy journey. There are bits and pieces of the harrowing experience he went through in this blog, but a majority of the story is played out behind the scenes, with only me watching.

I know for a fact that he loves his previous job. Passionate enough about it to wake up earlier than I do to be in Court by 8.15 in the freaking morning, passionate enough to just go on ahead with a trial despite takde IP, passionate enough to endure half a year of crap from his now ^&**(%$ and yes, passionate enough to cover for his so called 'friends' (whom I know very well - some of them are my unimates remember?) who always duduk ofis to ampu &*((^%$, while he slaves away in Court sampai petang, only to be given a bad rep sebab jarang masuk ofis.

I told him, 'people who do not conform to the mould like you and me do not belong in the Government service'. I told him when his *&((&&^^ issued out a circular disabling him from &^$#$##% (which was embarrassingly pasted on every single balai polis in ^^&&*R that it is high time to walk away.

I told him when his (**&^%%^ told the newbies in the office that he was 'evil' and 'do not learn anything from him' that there is not point in staying with a &**((%$# who can see no good from you no matter how hard you try because he already has a pre-conceived notion about you and made no effort to be professional.

The demeaning sms'es, phone calls...all meant to take away every bit of dignity and confidence you have in your abilities (I have been there before but not to this degree).

He tried to take it, but couldn't ... and he left. I thought it was also disgusting that defamatory letters was sent out by &^%** to unrelated government departments accusing Aries of things totally unrelated to his job at the time. I know for a fact that even my name was mentioned. I know for a fact that even the status of my marriage was mentioned in this letter. Other details of the letter, biarlah menjadi rahsia kami. I know that as a matter of law, this letter was prima facie defamatory of me and Aries.

I know for a fact that our phones were tapped and may even be still to this day, I do not know for sure, and thats perhaps why info on our marriage ended up in that letter. But me and him refused to change our phone lines, because we were adamant we had nothing to hide.

I also hated the fact that when he left, a former colleague of his and both a unimate of ours just could not find it in himself or herself to be happy for him as he was given a really good offer by a firm stating that 'gaji memang banyak tp kalau buat representasi, confirm kena tolakla' (tempeleng jepun mahu?).

I cannot believe that after he left, his &^%^** asked around to see whether he was going to work in &^%%^ or &&%%& and then said 'I will make sure that if he works &*((%$$$, he will get no cases'. MasyaALLAH, kejinya anda. Are you then saying that awak boleh tentukan masa depan seseorang itu? Are you saying that you have the power untuk menyekat rezeki yang Tuhan telah tentukan untuk seorang hambaNYA? Bukankah Tuhan yang memberi rezeki? Not you right? What exactly do you mean by that statement you made, fool? Beristighfarlah sebentar dan sedarlah diri sedikit.

I am glad that Aries has managed to get the courage to walk away from this nonsense and I would have to state that it is nonsensical beyond belief, I really do not know whether to laugh or cry after experiencing it with him.

And now he has a really good boss and a good working environment. The Hijrah was for the best.

To his &*(*%$$, with Aries gone you will know siapa yg buat kerja, siapa yg tak. At least Aries will no longer have to cover for &())^^ who has a million excuses for not going to court, tayar pancitla, tak sihatla, mcm mcm la, takut sebab takde IP la ... every freaking monday buat hal I tell you (pelempang Jepun kepada anda juga boleh?). Siapalah agaknya mangsa baru si fulan itu? Jeng Jeng Jeng. Not our problem anymore...hahah

I know Aries is the type to let things go and forgive and forget and may not be happy with this post as he has believe it or not, forgiven the culprits for all that was said and done, but I feel that this post must be written so that we can bury our skeletons and move on with our lives. This will be the last post on this issue, ever.

To Aries, this is for you:-

Courage is not limited to the battlefield

The real tests of courage are much quieter

They are the inner tests, like remaining faithful when nobody's looking

like enduring pain when the room is empty, and 

like standing alone when you're misunderstood

Charles Swindoll

Change takes courage and you made that change. I am proud of you.

Disclaimer - Please note that the above may or may not be figments of my overactive imagination and should not be taken seriously :-)

Jalan Jalan Cari Makan

Kitorang agak berjalan-jalan semasa weekend aritu..

Sheesh, the internet collection in the office here is a freaking *itch.

Missing the old days..

On Saturday, we went to Times Square as I had to replace my Digi Broadband device. RM299 gone down the drain thanks to little Airiel who bent it a weird 90 degrees. Confirm rosakla kan.

We went to VeryThai there.

Hehe.. pics below:-

This was the kerabu mangga. Honestly, this is one of the best kerabu mangga I have tasted. Sour with sweet flavour and the mango was firm to the bite and was not soggy

This was the mini spring roll, it was sweet and had just veggies in it. I preferred the meaty spring rolls in Pho Hoa

The minced chicken fried rice. I asked for it to be extra spicy. I was in tears when I finished eating it. It was just so so spicy. Sedap!!!

Aries makan paad thai, muka stress fikir pasal kena buli ngan bos.

Sabtu malam, we decided to go eat Nasi Telur Berlada kat Klang, arwah Zack's fave place dulu, Aries kata.

Tak sempat tangkap gamba nasi dah habis hehe..Sedap wooo

P.S - congratulations Aries for being brave enough to walk away and move on to better things. Tak matila tak keje kerajaan hahaha...on to better things ehh? Let's celebrate when you get back. Screw your *UP. If he is as big of an idiot as I think he is, things would probably catch up with him sooner or later? Hint-hint

This cannot be worth it

I had an uninterrupted weekend with Aries...We laughed and fought and played with our son. We were a normal family. I see him happy.

As he was on his way back on Sunday night, he gave me a call..his *oss has apparently told someone or god knows how many people that he is on drugs. This was his *uperior. Someone who is supposed to guide, teach, protect, aid...

I have known him for 6 years and have been married to him for 3. He does not even smoke.

Ini adalah fitnah...dan fitnah itu lebih teruk dari membunuh.

And I realised, nothing about his life was normal. He goes to JB for a job that pays him nuts, away from me and Airiel, with a *oss that wants to destroy him. Yes, destroy is the word. He wants to disgrace Aries. He wants Aries to quit. He goes to work everyday not knowing what his *oss is going to do to him. He is in court for 3 quarters of a day while his *oss schemes on how to get him fired, or how to drag him towards disciplinary proceedings. Every morning, he never knows what kind of phone call he is going to get from his *oss. Maki dan maki dan maki lagi. I know it.. I know it all..

And this morning I saw an sms his *oss sent someone which was forwarded to me. I was smack dab in the middle of a continued trial.

My face changed, my heart sank, my hands clenched into fists.

For the first time in my life, I feared for Aries. I feared for his safety. Someone is out to get him, and we all know who.

This cannot be worth it. What is this nonsense? Apa semua ini? How do you work in these kind of conditions?

This cannot be worth it. Aries may not be the most perfect person out there, but this is just too much.

I told him, be the bigger man and walk away. He is not the 1st person victimised, he is the 5th to leave under this *oss and I doubt he will be the last.

I told him, some people are not worth our time, and this person is clearly one of them.

I do not understand it, he was doing fine under his old *UP, no such nonsense as this.

I shake my head, blink away my tears and continued with my trial.

I know Aries is the bigger man but it does not sadden me less to see him walk away from something he loves so dearly.

Everything happens for a reason. Sabarlah Aries.

This cannot be worth it.

Weekend Wacky

I forgot to update what happened last weekend! Gasp

Anyways, me and Aries decided to go at night last weekend and have a special night out.

So we stayed home during the day and spent some quality time with 'not so' little Airiel.

And then after Maghrib, Aries took me out. 'Somewhere special' he said.

I was super excited!! It turns out he wanted to take to me to the Ampang Look Out Point...but we sort of got lost..heheh

Thanks to Google Maps, we actually got there..but there was just too many people. We could not even park. Frustrated, we left.

Tapi perut laparla pulak..so drive sini sana cari tempat makan..Ended up in Victoria Station hehe..
Makan makan!! Pics below

Sipu Babi..yummy!

Aries' oysters

Slurppp!!

My steak which was so big, I couldn't finish it..I can't remember the name but it had peppercorns in it. Suka!!

This was Aries punya rib-eye..tapi belum sempat tangkap gambo, it was gone!! Hehe

Aries being scandalous...padahal sparkling je..ecehh

We went to the newly opened Empire Shopping Gallery on Sunday. It's quite a cozy place jugakla...There's Chilli's, Italiannes, Rakuzen and even Tarbush there.

Tapi tak sempat sgt nak round. Went to Subang Parade to shop sakan..and then home to Airiel...

This weekend nak shopping cari belt..and I want to buy my full SKII set. It works wonders for me. Will update on the exact changes to my skin in about another weeks time. 

Shoessss!

I was so stressed upon knowing the crisis Aries has in JB about his boss and all that I decided to do some retail therapy.

Shoe mania!!!! HUaragggghh

I've ordered these:-

Huhuh...terubat sedikit sebanyak..tapi masih risau..

sigh..

Aren't these shoes gorgeous??? They are ready stock by the way... Get them from Lolita Candy.

Sigh..bersabarlah wahai suami.

I'm with you

Dear Aries,

I know how you are tested at the moment...

How doing what you love can be become hell under bad, bad leadership...

How demoralizing and cruel a superior can be simply because he 'can'...

How stressful and painful when personal comments are made..

How nonsensical it is when professionalism is thrown out of the window..

How helpless you feel, maklumlah... kita 'ikan kecil'.

How office politics makes you puke and vomit...

I am..with you

Always with you.

As for 'that' person...biar Tuhan sahaja membalasnya.

Let payback be swift, cruel and severe.

Biarlah anak-anaknya merasa pula suatu hari nanti. Amin

Allah telah berjanji untuk mendengar doa hambaNya yang teraniaya.

Dan sesungguhnya Allah tidak memungkiri janji.

Weekend

This weekend my Aries naik flight!!!

Imagine my happiness bila dia sesekali mendengar kata hati si wifey..!

Hehe..Anyways..I've bought a few things that was previously on my list.

1. Shades (check!);
2. Sandals for weekends (check!);
3. Court shoes (check!); and
4. tunnel plaything for Airiel (check! hey..this was not on the list!)

Apparently he loves it! Anyways..enough of the talk..let the pics do the rest

2 loves of my life

Sunday breakfast

Airiel on his best behaviour

Aries and Airiel

Mama and her new shades! (Lebihla plak)

Hehehe

Just this weekend

So.. Aries came back gile lewat on Friday...Airiel nangis punya nangis tunggu..sampai tertido. Anyways..Airiel was so happy to see Aries when he woke up on Saturday morning.. what a cutie...

After playing with Airiel until he fell sound asleep.. We went off to have lunch at Marche's. The concept is funny...Here's how it works..

You get a card at the door. 1 card each like below

After that you go to the respective stalls to get your food..and then the person taking care of the counter will take your card and chop it.

Aries has half a dozen oysters and was in heaven..hahaha

Our drinks, me having plain old watermelon juice and Aries went a bit to adventurous and had the healthy juice of the day (wheatgrass + ginger + god knows what)..urgghhh

My salad which I loved. They are currently having a mushroom promotion..yummy!

Me and Aries had grilled chicken and lamb chop as well but I forgot to take the pics on those..lapo sgt...hahah

Aries and Airiel..

And..last but not least..

Cheeky Aries in his new shades!

I spoil him I know! But who else to spoil but Aries and my lil Airiel?

*WINK*

Kempen paksa Aries

Ohh..sebab Aries kan terlampau accident prone..dah nyaris nak melayang nyawa terlampau byk kali..

I have decided sanggup utk menghabiskan duit, jiwa dan raga untuk pujuk Aries naik kapal terbang balik KL.

Flight firefly - turun dekat Subang airport tu je..dekat sgt dgn umah..and kalo kira-kira balik..to lak minyak and tol..lebih kurang sama..kalo lebih pun ..tak boleh nak banding dgn penatnya bawak krete betul tak?

Jom kita mulakan kempen 'pujuk Aries naik flight' . Dia tu syg sgt dgn krete and insist nak bwk balik sebab tak sunggup berenggang walaupun sehari..*rolling eye*

Boleh menyelamatkan nyawa nih!! Unless of course ....the plane crashes...sigh..risaula plak..

Anyways..Sila tinggalkan komen anda dan sokong kempen saya!

This weekend

We bought a pool for Airiel..sebab dia kan suka berendam tak ingat..kalau nak bawak keluar dari bilik air tu memang akan melalak la dia...

Excited sgt nak bwk balik pool yg dah dibeli..punyala ngok ngek sampai terlupa beli pam isi angin pool..jadi terpaksalah me and Aries..tiup sendiri..nasib baik ada tiupan power..hahaha!

Pool hasil tiupan sendiri

Airiel and his sunglasses

He was loving it!

Ketawa tak hingat!!

Aries and Airiel..haha

We bought him gelongsor skali..tapi dia mcm takut takut skit nak main..currently in the process of finishing his play area.. Pics akan diupload bila dah siap kay?

Haha..

Dan separuh nyawa ini pergi

Aries dah bertolak balik ke Johor hari ni..byk keje menunggu after 1 week hols.

I am distraught..

Shall not elaborate more.

Will update on more positive things once I am feeling better.

Sigh

Congrats Hubby!

Awak dapat surat 'permanent' today!

I am so proud of you. Nikmat ramadhan ye?

But you deserve it ..

We shall celebrate on Friday..janji?

Nanti saya balik rumah inform Airiel..sure dia senyum comel-comel..

I miss him already..tapi kena stayback kat opis habiskan keje sebelum cuti raya ni...

I miss you too..

Lets go shopping Friday and spend insane amounts of money! Kay?

:-P