Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Marital Woes - You have a choice, MAKE it

I don't know why when friends ke org yg aku kenal tak berapa kenal sgt pun will ask me for advice when they have marital problems. Muka aku ni dah mcm kaunter tempat mengadu hal rumahtangga agaknya. Takpun maybe I just listen and never say anything, unless they ask me too and even when they do I tell them, do you really want to listen to what I have to say? I will ask them that at least 4 or 5 times and if they consistently say yes baru aku cakap.

What marriage does not go through problems, let me ask you that? Most problems are almost always of the same severity, only different in form and shape. And let me tell you perempuan these days sama naik je dengan lelaki dari segi keberanian, kegatalan dan ketidaksopanannya. The stories I have heard shocks even me these days, and I have been through my own hell to not be so easily surprised by anything anymore.

The problems range from money issues, to infidelity issues, to simply growing apart and not having the same feelings for each other anymore, to fertility issues.

Yang paling banyak org mengadu kat aku of course la pasal infidelity kan. And they ask me for my advice. And I always tell them, you have a choice. MAKE it.

And then they give me a funny look like what choice? And I tell them, you either stay or walk away. That is a choice, it may be a tough one to make, but you have to do it if you want to move on in your life. Wallow in your sorrow and grieve for a while, but then at some point of time or rather you have to pick up the pieces and make a decision whether your partner/gf/bf/spouse is worth sticking around for.

If he/she isn't, then leave. Get a divorce, get a time out. Kick him/her out of the house. Do not sit around and hang on to a situation and feel sorry for yourself for the next 50 years of your life while not doing anything.

If he/she is, and he/she is making efforts to change then forgive him/her. It is a simple as that. I have gone through major marriage problems in my life, details of which let me just keep to myself. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It is fact which I had to face. Grieve and lose sleep over. I look at my son  at the time and ask myself 'why?'. I look at my FIL and Aries' family history at the time and tell myself I should never have married a guy who was so genetically predisposed to this kind of behaviour. I felt sorry for my MIL and wondered how she put up with something which I find so unacceptable.

And then after all that grieving and wallowing and feeling sorry for myself, I had to make a decision. do I stay? Or do I leave? And believe you me, it was not an easy decision, so I asked Allah for help and help Allah did. For muslims, solatlah istikharah.

I made my decision. I stayed. I forgave ... and by forgiving I realised how much more of a person I was on the inside than Aries could ever be, because both he and I knew that if the situation was reversed, he would never have forgiven me.

What didn't break us has now made us stronger. It is a work in progress but I hope we will one day get there. I can only hope for the best.

And I moved on. You move on. We should all move on.

Same goes if you decide to have a divorce or leave. Get it done, forgive you partner/spouse (forgiving really does set you free) and start afresh. As much as the process of starting afresh again is painful, it is also a relief. And insyaAllah, you will find someone who will be better suited for you.

If you have money issues, you should talk to each other about it!

If you have fertility issues, work on it! Get yourself checked out, medically diagnosed and try and fix the situation.

If you feel like the spark is no longer there, spend more time with each other, take vacations. Have a romantic getaway. Make an effort to fall in love again. How fun would that be, to fall in love over and over again with the same person? mother/father of your children? someone to grow old with?

The truth might hurt, and talking about it might hurt even more. But to me, talking about it and finding a solution, means you are owning your pain and therefore exercising control over it.

The bottom line is everybody when confronted with a situation, have a choice. All they have to do is MAKE it.

Make that choice my readers, and I wish you all the best.

Enjoy the rest of the week!

P.S - Forgiving does not mean forgetting mind you. I do remind Aries on how mean and how much pain he caused me from time to time. And then, all of a sudden... I get a new bag! *Grin*

Monday, September 24, 2012

My fave Maternity Wear Websites

Hello readers,

I hate shopping since having a baby in my tummy. I have not bought a single thing online since being preggers save for Baju Raya Airiel, and only went out shopping once to buy baju raya for Aries and Airiel haritu.

Aries was itching to buy some shirts and khaki pants, Airiel needed some legos and puzzles to suit his playing needs at this age. And I needed to buy some maternity wear stat. Tried looking for the belly belt in some baby shops in paradigm tapi takde pulak.

What I noticed was, wow maternity clothes are expensive! Terbeliak mata Aries masa membayar, and I get his surprise since you are only wearing it for 9 months at a time. Anyways, I have packed my normal clothes (not pants since they still fit with the aid of the belly belt). Just a few websites which may be of help in helping mommies out there look fab and without busting their budget!

1. Mammahouse;
2. Justmum;
3. Summerglitz;
4. Motherclub (they have a boutique in Paradigm, not that cheap but I snagged some cute tops which were 50% off last weekend);
5. Honeymama;
6. Autumnz;
7. Danita Maternity;;
8. DressMi;
9. BabyBumpMaternity;
10. Celebritymum;
11. Blessedmums;
12. Cetot; and
13. Spring Maternity.

I am multitasking whilst blogging and working because I have tons to do this week! And since I will be away at the IMLC conference from Wed till Friday, I only have until tomorrow to sort things out. And I have a hearing tomorrow morning, shuishhh...

Have a good and productive weekend everyone. No room for lazies!

Friday, September 21, 2012

Its Friday!

A lot of work and some travelling throughout the week.

There are always, always things that make me smile of course. For instance:-

Reading a good book

craving traditional food made by mum..ohhh jeruk maman, I want you!
(this picture is credited to its owner and is not mine).

coming home to budak wangi baru mandi berbedak after a LONG....LOOONG day

It is the weekend at last, and IXORA will be born on Saturday!. I will post pics of Bonda's Ixora soon!

Love you readers! Have a good week!

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

The Lil Diva is here!

Hello everyone.

I do not have many friends, social interactions make me uncomfortable... but I have always remained close to my chambiemates in SD, boy did we have some fun times back in the day. And recently, Aly gave birth to the anticipated Lil Diva which we have all been waiting for!

There's our Lil' Diva, all cute and sleeping! From left, Illa, yours truly (14 weeks along and struggling to gain weight), Aly and Farah! Missing from this session is Sue (under the weather at the time) and Sri (who is currently in the UK).

What would be a more suitable gift for our little diva than a Lil' Diva Diaper Cake!, made by unimate Am. Thanks Am, my friends loved it!

You can see more of her lovely creations on Diaper Cakes and Such.

A lot of work awaits so I must take my leave. Have a good week everybody.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

The Rise of NINE

Yes, The Rise of NINE is out people!

And for my readers who do not know what that is, do you remember the movie called 'I am Number Four'? The one where the hot young guy acts in? *Gulp*. hehehehe

Well, that is actually adapted from a book written by Pittacus Lore.

The next book after 'I am Number Four' was called 'The Power of Six'. As usual, I read the books before I even knew a movie was being made of the first book.

And now, the third book in the Lorien series 'The Power of Nine' is out.

Just started reading and I couldn't put it down. One of the benefits of the long wait during medical check ups is that you can casually read! Hehe. I intentionally left the book in the car once I got to the office so I wouldn't be reading it in the office.

Go grab it guys, and by IT I mean the entire series, it is addictive to say the least. I wonder if they are making another movie for these books. Love to see it translate on the silver screen!

Tomorrow is Friday so yeay!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Hannah Selwah!

Happy Birthday Huda Zuhrah!

Nape, ingat aku tak ingat ke?

Ecehhh, memori aku semakin baik sejak ada baby dlm perut hokkay?

P.S - picture is credited to its owners.

Lap you and Ammar Zihni yg tomey dan terlanggar meja kaca rumah aku hahaha...

Monday, September 10, 2012

When You're Having a Bad Day...

When your body aches and you have not slept soundly in weeks, when you have vomited the entire contents of your stomach and swore to yourself that you will never eat again, when you tell yourself that this is going to be the last time you're going to stop on the emergency lane in the highway while you're stuck in a jam after work so you can throw up ...

Remember that everything is borrowed... and that everything is a gift.

Terima kasih Tuhan.

Have a good week ahead readers.

Friday, September 7, 2012

My Top 10 Shopping Websites for Moms to Be/Moms


Semenjak dua menjak di ramai pulak yang bertanya whether I have regular websites that I go to untuk mencuci mata kalau nak tgk barang baby or breastpumps atau yang berkaitan dengannya. Ok, I will list down my top 12 websites that I usually surf through for baby stuff or preggy stuff.

Warning : PRODUCTS IN THESE WEBSITES CAN BE EXTREMELY CUTE AND IRRESISTIBLE. Click at your own risk. Ok, with that disclaimer sorted out, let's go to the list.

1. EnjoyBreastFeed - As the title of the website would indicate, this website caters to everything breastfeeding. It has a large section for baby products as well. I also love that the website is in pink!

2. Littlewhiz - This is a pretty comprehensive site that deals with everything from baby furniture and bedding, to baby slings to baby food. You can spend hours just looking at the products! If you're not satisfied with just looking at the products online, go to their shop in Section U13, Setia Alam;

3. Moms Little Ones - This online shop has a lot of offline branches and has the standard items of breastpumps, nursing and maternity apparels and breastcare products. One feature which I like is that you can opt for notifications on updates/restocking of one particular product which you like to be sent to your e-mail if you want!;

4. Baby Care Malaysia - This online shop does not sell breastpumps, but instead concentrates on maternity wear, baby apparels, cloth diapers and toys for kids. The cloth diapers are super cute!;

5. Kasihku Sayangku - Like Littlewhiz, it offers tons of stuff which you can go through and surf for hours on end. It even sells gift sets and books, cd and dvds for kids and mothers to be;

6. Fabulousmoms - This is my personal favourite website and it also has a number of offline branches which you can visit. What I like about this website is the maternity bras they sell! The items sold are extensive!;

7. Babyloft - I still have not finished going through the products listed in their website. From carseats, to strollers, to bouncers, walkers, you name it..they have everything baby! They also have a 3D hand and feet sculpting service for you to immortalise the memory of your baby! How cool is that. Another plus is that Babyloft has a branch in Publika, Solaris Dutamas where I work. I found one product here which I am seriously contemplating buying - Simple Wishes : Hands Free Pumping Bra;

8. Babies Kingdom - They do not sell breastpumps on their website, but do sell baby car seats and carriers, baby furniture and bedding and strollers and buggies;

9.  Kedai Ibu  - They have an extensive collection of breastpumps, breastpump accessories, even NR set bersalin, Islamic books untuk belajar Al-Quran and all. They even sell barut and bedung, even used breastpumps; and

10. MyBBstore - There all manner of items neatly categorised not only by category, but by 'Best Seller', 'Award Winners', by 'Brand', 'On Sale' and 'New Arrivals'.

Alright readers. Hope the list helps you guys out. Please drop me a line at FB or pm me at my yahoo if you need to know anything else.

Have a good weekend ahead.

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Baby in Tummy No. 2 - Private Hospitals v Public Hospitals

Hello Everyone.

This post shall be about my dilemma on whether to go private or not for the delivery of Baby in Tummy No. 2.

I have nothing against public hospitals. In fact public hospitals are my first choice when it comes to delivery. In fact, I choose to go for my check up at public clinics i.e. Klinik Kesihatan. I think the checkups  are really thorough and the doctors and nurses always tell you what you need to hear (you shouldn't gain so much weight, you're eating too much sugar...bla bla bla) as opposed to what you want to hear kan.

I really have not experienced any of the horror stories yang org semua crite which you can find on the Internet pasal delivery in public hospital and I went to HKL of all places. The nurses were always nice even in the wards. I think the key is for you to be a nice person, if you're nice they will be equally nice to you. The facilities are not the best though and the nurses expect you to be independent, which I find to be ok although might be a bit taxing for those going through ceaser like me the last time.

Anyways, the reason the option of private hospital even came up is because the number of kids I wish to have. The chances of me going through a natural birth this time around is slim. But public hospitals will make you try to attempt it. My fear is that I may have to go through another emergency c-sect which I do not want to have. I would rather have an elective c-sect. If I go through the c-sect in a planned manner without complications and distress to the baby, and with the same doctor who knows my c-sect wound, I am hoping to attempt to have 4 or even maybe 5 kids via elective c-sect. If I keep having emergency c-sects. I may be stopped at 3 kids only. I am just trying to expand my options. Kalau dah rezeki sampai 3 je nak buat mcmmana, tapi kalau boleh nak 4 or 5 kids, it is an option which I would like to have.

My firm does not cover maternity expenses so Aries and I are pretty much on our own in terms of budget. Duit tu memang ada, but I just do not want to spend so much money on hospital bills sebenarnya. I mean, baik simpan utk their education ke hape kan? Sakit bersalin or luka c-sect pun sama je kat mana mana. And kalau bill sampai 10 ribu, I really think its such a waste of money. Baik belanja beli barang or spend on postnatal care for myself ke ape.

I have surveyed a few private hospitals yang dekat kat rumah and have narrowed down my options:-

1. Kelana Jaya Medical Centre (paling dekat, 2 minit dari rumah);

2. Sime Darby Ara Damansara Medical Centre (ini dekat jugak, 5 minit je tapi tak tahulah ada gynae ke tak sbb this a really new centre);

3. KPJ Selangor (Shah Alam);

4. Shah Alam Specialist Centre (SALAM) , their elective c-sect package is RM5555, link is here; and

5. Darul Ehsan Medical Centre (DEMC).

Anybody who knows how much (range) for an elective c-sect for the places above please let me know k?

Another option which I find attractive is the Full Paying Patient programme in Hospital Selayang and Hospital Putrajaya. Costs wise, a lot cheaper than private hospitals and I hear the facilities are superb. And I feel more confident because it is generally a government hospital only in the private wing of the same.

If anybody had experience as a FPP in these hospitals, please drop me a line. Would really appreciate it!


Monday, September 3, 2012

Baby in Tummy No. 2 - List of Main Things to Buy/Do

Hello everyone.

It has been quite some time since Airiel and this 2nd baby. I am more than thankful everything is going on allright. Am just hoping for the best and that everything will go smoothly.

Anyways, before I forget I need to list all these things down to buy for Baby in Tummy No. 2.


1. Medela Freestyle Breastpump (Costs a freaking bomb, any ideas on website I can go to to buy one at a discount?), breastmilk storage bags, yada yada yada. I am determined to at least let this next baby have my milk for one (1) year at least (Airiel sempat 6 months sahaja, sedey);

2. Bantal, Tilam Kekabu ( Should get one for Airiel as well). You can try these websites for the bantal kekabu:-

http://atieyusz-myproduct.blogspot.com/ - this is Kuala Kangsar kekabu pillows (the best kekabu pillows ever!)

3. Minyak Telon and kelengkapan kecil lain yang perlu for the little one ( I must get the Amway Minyak Telon, it works like a charm) - you can go here http://www.bidanbersalin.blogspot.com/;

4. Clothes (little cute gloves and all), barut, diapers, baju lubang lubang sgt penting;

5. My Berpantang Set (thinking of Nona Roguy this time - any views on the Nona Roguy set?);

6. My hospital bag; and

7. Deciding where to have the birth and in what way. ( I will write another post on this)

Darn it, I can't for the life of me remember what I am supposed to do apart from that. Maybe I will list it down as I waddle along the other trimesters.

By the way, I found out that a place called Sould Nibbana Spa in PJ offers prenatal massages. Am thinking of going la plak. Has anybody been there? Please pm me and let me know how it was.

Okay, have a good week ahead guys.  Much love.