Friday, July 25, 2014

100 Happy Days Challenge - Day 91 -100

"Perhaps this is what the stories meant when they called somebody heartsick. Your heart and your stomach and your whole insides felt empty and hollow and aching" ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Hello readers,

It has been a while.

I need to finish the challenge. And I have.

Who would have taught that there is always something to make you happy in a day, every day? Malas so I just took photos from instagram where I post most of my pics up.

Day 91 - Don't follow the trend people, Set it.

Day 92 - For the love of coffee...

Day 93 - And yet another new way to spell my name. LOL jatuh kerusi jap.

Day 94 - Sights that just takes your breath away...

Day 95 - Best Ramadhan Pick Up Line EVERRRR...haha

Day 96 - My one and only constant. Other things may always change, but his presence, his healing ...that is constant. Love you son.

Day 97 - Entertaining my pen obsession. I just couldn't resist la when I saw these pastel coloured pens! Comel.

Day 98 - A yummylicious drink from Juiceworks. What a way to berbuka yummy huhu.

Day 99 - Airiel spending some time with his father. I don't really know how long this will last. But I appreciate the effort Airiel's father makes to do this. Sigh, but good memories are to be cherished so I will cherish them for what they are worth. Mama and Abah will always love you Airiel, no matter what.

Day 100 - Muka comot disuruh bergambar haha. Loving this chiffon kimono I bought at Citta Mall.

And there it is everyone. 100 Happy Days challenge.

Even in deep sadness, there is always something to brighten your day, I find.

I am facing some tough times, but I know I will survive. 

I would like to wish everyone a blessed Aidilfitri. Be safe on the roads.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Monday, July 21, 2014

Of Hope - Boycott Israel 2014 - Part 3 - BuyCott App

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Hello Readers,

It is a Monday. Throughout the weekend, I have received vibers, texts, watsapps and emails from all of you. So many questions were asked of me but they all had the same underlying tone.

It was of frustration.

It was of feeling helpless.

It was of hopelessness.

One that resonated the most with me is the question "Why?". 

I had to stay silent, because honestly I do not know the answer. 

All I know is what I have experienced myself. And I have to admit that not a day goes by that I do not ask myself that question on all the events that have unfolded in my life. On all the events unfolding in the world.

But I know that since these events have unfolded in my life, I have changed. What is happening in Gaza and all other conflicted countries around the world is no longer a statistic to me. These are real people. With a name, a beating heart. Aisha's death changed me. It made me want do more than just condemn. It made me realise that one person can make a difference, because I, just one person did make a huge difference in hers before it was time for her to be with the Almighty. A place I may never see but I hope to. She is playing with my angel Akif. My kids are watching me up there.

I cannot simply exist. I must make a difference in any way I can and stand for what I deem just. This is not about the crowd. This is about ME. 

Without suffering I realised, there would have been no compassion. And after what and who I have lost, I realised I truly feel it. I truly feel compassion.

Maybe that is what this is all about. MAYBE. I don't know. But not knowing will not stop me now. I cannot stop, I cannot pause. It is a compulsion. It is an addiction. It is a CALLING.

Join me.

Guys, I have a new exciting app to share with you on the BDS campaign.

Its an exciting new app called BUYCOTT. The link to the information and cause behind the making of this app can be found here.

Step 1 - Download the app from the app store or your google play store. 

Step 2 - You can log in with facebook or email and then choose the causes that you are passionate about here. There are a few ongoing campaigns regarding all causes possible listed in accordance to category above.

Step 3 - The campaign I chose. 

You can see the list of trending campaigns on its home page.

Information about the campaigns are set out.

Step 4 - Scan a product 

Step 5 - Get a report whether the product contravenes the particular campaign/cause you are supporting before buying.

Let's do this readers.

We do not merely exist. 

We shall resist.

More updates on the campaign soon.

You know where to find me if you need me. I am on IG, FB, Dayre and Wechat. idzerqqy is what they call me. Keep the emails coming in.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone. 

Friday, July 18, 2014

United in Grief

"We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, too find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad" ~ John Green

Hello readers.

Too much has happened not only to Malaysia but to the world this year.

I shake as I type this but I have to. I must write so these events will forever be etched in my mind, recorded here for all of time. I need to always remember...


MH17, 17.07.2014. A Malaysian Airlines commercial plane on its way to Kuala Lumpur from Amsterdam crashed in Ukraine, near the Russian border.

298 passengers and cabin crew members lost their lives.

Infants were also on board.

The plane has allegedly been shot down by Ukraine separatists. Investigations have commenced into this incident.


17.07.2014 - For the first time in history Israel announced it has launched ground operations against Gaza. 

The last time I checked, civilian casualties stand at 302, a majority of them children, women and the elderly.

As I type this, the Wafa orthopedic hospital in Gaza is under attack with patients still inside the hospital.

2 days ago, 4 boys playing football on a beach was systematically butchered by missiles targeted at them in full view of international reporters. Blown to pieces. Gone, dead. 


This world no longer makes sense to me.

Today, we stand as a nation in grief for the fate that befell MH17 and MH370 which has yet to be resolved.

Today, I see humanity on the brink where women, children, the elderly and hospitals can be targeted in military operations so blatantly, with impunity and with no call for responsibility on the perpetrators.

Today I see values in jeopardy when people around me not only turn a blind eye against injustices and tragedy, offers no solutions, and neither do they assist in whichever way that they can, no matter how small that may be. People that I see firsthand losing any sense of compassion, empathy and justice. People who believe that they are too insignificant to make a difference, and thus does not even try. People who do not live, but merely exist.

This heart breaks.

This heart bleeds.

Prayers to all who have lost their lives, be it in flight MH17, MH370, Gaza, Syria, Burma...this list is not exhaustive.

Prayers. May all of you be blessed. 

May all of those who are left behind be given the strength and courage to accept what they cannot change, to let go of what they have lost. This is my prayer, and I pray because in reality it is perhaps the one most difficult thing to do. 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Thursday, July 10, 2014


"The liar was the hottest to defend his veracity, the coward his courage, the ill-bred his gentlemanliness, and the cad his honour" ~ Margaret Mitchell

Hello readers,

I am responding to an email by one of my readers on whether I am using any form of lipcare. 

So I am sharing with you readers what I am using.

Fabulips by bliss. You can buy this at Sephora. I can't remember the price.

As you can see, the set comes with 4 items:-

(i)  Foam lip cleanser (the bottle with the pink liquid);

(ii) The Scrub (thats the jar you see);

(iii) Lip serum (the tall thin thing); and

(iv) Lip balm.

I have used this since January, with still a lot to spare. I usually just use the foam cleanser and the scrub just to get the dead skin cells off. I have such dry lips. But let me tell you the serum, when you put it on it has a minty, cooling sensation to it and gives your lips an instant pout. The lip balm I find is not much different from other lip balms out there, so I have stuck with my usual lip balm (which shall be the subject of another post).

It still has done a lot though. No more cracking lips and bleeds for me, and that is a whole of a lot of improvement. So you guys can give this a try definitely.

Have a good rest of the week.

Peace and love to everyone.

Keep Gaza in your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Operation Protective Edge - Terror has Begun

"To sin by silence, when they should protest, makes cowards of men" ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Israel has officially commenced Operation Protective Edge on Gaza and the West Bank after attacking, pillaging homes of civillians and arresting 110 Palestinians, mostly children. 9 Palestinians have been killed before the commencement of this latest Operation. 

More lives will be lost upon the commencement of the Operation I am sure. 

The BBC reports the Palestinian as militants, terrorists. They say Israel is merely defending itself. It is amazing how such lies can persist. It is disgusting how they can utter such blatant untruths.

A representative of the Home Ministry of America has issued a statement supporting the Israeli military offence. 

The Arabs stay silent, busy driving their fancy cars, flaunting tigers as pets.

News of the Operation are not widely publicised  in the Malaysian media.

May all of you that stay silent in the face of cruelty and destruction of humanity be damned. Every single one of you.

And people continue to die. 

My heart bleeds for angel Aisha's homeland and the brethren within. An official statement issued by the Al-Qassam brigade reduced me to tears. The translation is below:-

"Permission [to fight] has been given to those who are being fought, because they were wronged. And indeed, Allah is competent to give them victory. Al Hajj - 39.

Blowing up the homes of innocent civillians is a course of action which cannot be tolerated. Should these 'political' actions not cease, we will respond by expanding the target area of our attack that the enemy will not foresee.

This is the enemy, the coward Zionists, that has declared a new war on the West Bank of Gaza that has until now persevered. They seem to not comprehend the language of the Al-Qassam brigade through its rockets that has demolished the Al-Qassam targets in Zionists areas, yesterday evening.

The Occupiers have begun this war by attacking the homes of innocent civilians that poses no threat in a sadistic, cruel and cowardly manner and using airstrikes on civilian homes.

Let it be known that the As Syahid Izzudin Al-Qassam Brigade, in responding the onslaught by the Zionists shall state as follows:-

1. We are not afraid of the annoucement of the military operations by Israel. We shall respond to any attack with equal force. We shall make the enemy regret making such a haste decision.

2. We warn the enemy that their actions in targeting the homes of civilians who are innocent has crossed all acceptable lines. If the enemy does not cease such political cowardly actions, we shall retaliate in expanding our area of attack, and we shall face this onslaught in a way the enemy shall never contemplate, and the leaders of the enemy are the ones that must be held responsible for this violence.

You have been warned.

Let it be known that for us, it is a struggle between two endings, either victory or a victorious death.

The Syahid Izzudin Al-Qassam Brigad

Tuesday, 10 Ramadhan 1435 H
8th July 2014"

Kalah sudah pasti,
Menang tidak tentu,
Tapi lawan tetap lawan.

May the Almighty be with all of you, beloved people of Gaza. May you be damned Israel. May you be damned.

Please follow updates and get informed on how to help from the links below:-

Donate at:- and

Terror has begun.

Let's tell Israel this time that we are WATCHING. And that there will be repercussions to their actions.

Let's do this.

Saturday, July 5, 2014

Too beautiful too forget...

"You don't forget the face of the person who was your last hope" ~ Suzanne Collins

My dearest Akif,

It is Ramadhan.

The month of fasting.

The month of giving.

The month of compassion.

The month of forgiveness.

For Mama, it is the month where I will see you every night without fail.

You are always dressed in green. Always smiling. Sitting on my lap. Hugging my neck.

How I cannot wait to close my eyes every night so we can meet.

How real it feels, being there with you.

Until it is time for you to leave. And I struggle to let go of your hand before you go back to where you belong. 

And you look at me smiling. And I muster up every single fibre of my being, strength and courage to smile back before you disappear. And my heart breaks, even in my dreams. I crumble.

And another day has begun.

I found the love that I knew I would miss.

I miss you little one. 

Thank you Almighty for giving me a chance to see my son. Thank you.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

100 Happy Days Challenge - Day 81 - 90

"When I say it's you that I like. I'm talking about that part of you that knows life is far more than anything you can ever see or hear or touch. That deep part of you that allows you to stand for those things without which humankind cannot survive. Love that conquers hate, peace that rises triumphant over war, and justice that proves more powerful than greed" ~ Fred Rogers

Hi readers.

It is time for the 100 Happy Days Challenge updates.

Day 81 - Icha loves baby Aufa!! How cute and booolat she is!! Selfie with the rest of the girls jugak. See how they pose? Ceewah. Congrats on the addition Farah Shafinaz. Much love

Day 82 - Airiel woke me up in the morning saying 'Mama, EKSIDEN dahsyat mama!!!. Dragged me out of bed and led me to this. Drama Melayu apakah ini?? Hadoii. Wicked sense of humour la my son ni.

Day 83 - I am not only obsessed with FF games, I am also in love with their music. So when Dewan Philharmonik Orkestra decided to showcase the Distant Worlds - FF Soundtrack in Malaysia, my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I just had to buy a ticket. Cannot wait!!

Day 84 - I know jerebu is terrible, but somehow it makes the sunset prettier. Like as if the dust particles makes it prettier. Teori bodoh hehe but still...

Day 85 - This is Airiel's father and Airiel. SWAG dia dgn bapak dia trying out the bossned haircut haha. I really hope this picture will not ruffle any feathers to anyone out there who is with Airiel's father. My focus is really to just ensure that Airiel is happy and spends time with his dad, and Airiel wants both his father and I to be with him when his father takes him out, so I just oblige. I think Airiel deserves that at least. And I hope whoever reading this will understand.

Day 86 - FF Gamers will know who this is. This is Zack from FF7. I lapp you Zack

Day 87 - This is love...

Day 88 - LOL this is soo true right? Too funny haha

Day 89 - In him, I see a miracle that Allah has promised to all of us. I see and feel His love. Thank you Almighty for such a gift.

Day 90 - Knowing that I am exactly where I am supposed to be right now...and what bliss it is..

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.