It was another sleepless night for me yesterday..
But it was for a very different reason..
I read Ida's post yesterday morning and I was upset for the rest of the day.
I can't burst out crying because my room in my new office does not have a door and I do not really that much privacy...but I was on the verge of tears a couple of times.
I was itching to get home and see Airiel but had to rush something and only got home around 9.30 at night by which time, Airiel had already fell asleep.
I can't read these things, losing a child is a grief which I cannot fathom and which I pray to God everyday that I would never have to face.
Airiel was sleeping in his buai. I softly took him out and carried him upstairs.
I held him and rocked him back and forth.. and I cried..and cried..and cried.
I don't know why.
Ida, I do not know your friend...and I will never be able to understand the pain she or Diar goes through.
But I know as I held Airiel in my arms that I would gladly give my life and everything I have for him...the love I felt as a mother was so great... I cannot describe it.
Losing a child is ..sigh
I cannot write about this anymore.
Al-Fatihah
The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms timidly, and struggles to the light amid the thorns ~ George Santayana
i think bout it everyday too. what if? how would? when will? kematian itu adalah suatu yg pasti. but i pray that when the time comes for my loved ones to depart, i would have the strength to face the qada and qadar. i would cry, but i would accept it and move on. i pray for this.
ReplyDeleteIdza dear,
ReplyDeleteInsyaAllah, Tuhan lebih tahu apa yang terbaik kan?
And yes Ida, semoga Tuhan bagi kekuatan utk kita hadapi semua ini. Amin!
Wahida
Ida : I fear loss..and I tire of grief..yes let us pray
ReplyDeleteKak Wahida : You are right indeed..Amin