Where is the 'delete' button?

I was happy today, driving off to Melaka Court ...


And then I remembered that the last time I went to Melaka High Court was 10 days prior to my 3rd anniversary which was last year.


And a knife stabs me in the heart, and I am blinded by tears.


Events, voices and pictures flood my mind.


And then I see Airiel's face, grinning at me...running towards me everytime I come home.


I see Aries' face as he looked at me almost 5 years ago at Taman Tasik Shah Alam while we were studying together.


I compose myself and start my drive back to Kuala Lumpur.

"It has been said that time heals all wounds. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue, and the pain lessens, but it is never gone." ~Rose Kennedy~ via Dr. Reed, Criminal Minds.

This is my life... and i shall live it MY way...

Shopping Wishlist

Okay, Friday always makes me want to shop.

I am busy...submissions yang horror sampai termimpi-mimpi tau...but mesti nak update jugak...

Because hati teringin nak beli ini, ini dan ini..!!!

 Ohhh, yang ini bukan di wishlist ye..? Ini dah terbeli opppss!!! Hehehe. Court attirelah, apa lagi

 I love this quirky looking bag from Cole Haan...a must in my wardrobe (kalaulah kan)

This pretty coach mini Maggie is in a delicious salmon shade colour, a limited edition for Breast Cancer awareness day...how lovely kalau dapat beli... 

Macho tak kalau Airiel pakai sandal mcmni kuar jalan-jalan? 

Ahh, a black bag is a must but I have not had one for a while...but this Kristin Coach is pretty..!!! 

I want a Juicy Fluffy!!! Need I say more 

 Mesti hensem Airiel pakai pants reversible ni kan? 2 for the price of 1 gitu...!! hehe

Comelnye bag ini!! Love the rich shade of red! 

 I think this shade of green is pretty,, patutke beli?

Owhhh...apsal nafsu shopping naik dan naik lagi? huhu

P.S - All the pictures are credited to the blogshops and owners yea!! 

Shopping online... again

Ok guys, as promised...

These are my most recent purchases.

These are from my usual fave blogshop, Attire's Attic

Until next time...tata!!!

Hehe

Ini entry excited...

Hehe..can't wait!!!

Tunggu!!!!

Premium Beautiful Part ? (lost count la plak)

Hi guys,

I don't wear PB during the day anymore...only at night. Time nak tido sampai pagi.

I realise that weight is not an issue for me anymore. I have lost all my preggy weight. Tapi it's the shape of my body that bothers me. The flabby tummy, stretch marks, flabby thighs. So am going to concentrate on that instead.

I also realised that PB somehow helps me sleep. For those who know me (yes, that would be you la Huda hehehe), I have struggled with getting a good night sleep for years.

But PB seems to really help.

Have bought some things online...so that will be my next post.

It is time to wake up and remember all the things that I have, instead of remembering what I have lost.

It is time to pick up  the pieces and move on.

Allah is with me....I know.

Thank you for the well wishes. It helps.

Down and Out

2 weeks ago I had a miscarriage.

It was not even a baby yet, or even a foetus. It was a mere 2 weeks old thingy growing inside of me.

I carried on with life as usual, went to work as usual.

But now, right now. The feelings are starting to sink in.

I don't know how to deal.

I don't.

Goodnight everyone

Fresh Top Quality Ikan Bilis etc for Order

Hi guys...!!

I have an uncle who works in Sarawak who can get top notch quality ikan bilis for a much lower price. Usual market price is like RM45 per kilo.

I can get it for you at an amazing RM35 per kilo. 10 bucks difference ok? And this is fresh ones, I only order from my uncle if someone orders it from me. He flies it in from Sarawak every weekend so the ikan bilis guarantee fresh punye.

You can contact me at idzerqq@yahoo.co.uk for further info or if you want to buy. I'll deliver it to your place if its around the klang valley area.

The orders are not limited to ikan bilis ok? Just name me your fish and i'll try and quote the best price for you!!!

Don't forget my post on the Grolier Book Series for kids here, it is also a good investment for your children, pm me if you want to know more details also k?

Maaf

I got this from I love Islam. The link can be found in my blog.

"Dan hendaklah mereka memaafkan dan berlapang dada. Apakah kamu tidak ingin bahawa Allah mengampunimu?

(Surah an-Nur : Ayat 21)

"Iaitu orang yang mendermakan hartanya pada masa senang dan susah, dan orang-orang yang menahan kemarahannya, dan orang-orang yang memaafkan kesalahan orang lain. Dan (ingatlah), Allah mengasihi orang-orang yang berbuat perkara-perkara yang baik."

(Surah Ali-Imran: Ayat 134)

And it spoke to me. Forgiveness is an issue which I have struggled with for the longest time.

I have been alienated, misunderstood, lied to, betrayed.... the list goes on.

I have spoken about forgiveness and peace in my previous post .

And it is a process. Was and still is. Marilah kita sama-sama saling memaafkan. I know I have been candid in my blog about some issues... if I offended anyone, I am truly sorry.

To my muslim readers, let us all become better muslims, better friends and better everything by forgiving...

To my non-muslim readers, I am sure that every religion teaches its disciples to forgive.

Let us hope by forgiving those who have hurt us, Allah in turn will forgive us for our sins.

Online Shopping and SKII Part 3

Ok guys..

I am finally on the bandwagon for buying this kind of material for baju kurung... but you have to admit that this is quite pretty ehh?

This is from Butik Izis

How court appropriate!!... 6 other black and white baju kurung masih belum disiapkan oleh tailor ku...so I am all set for this year when it comes to court... 

And I promised that I would update on how SKII has worked for me. And yes, I am happy to share that after 27 years, I found the solution to my ultra dry skin!!!!

Just yesterday, I met a friend who I have not met in like 3 years since I left SD and he... YES..it's a HE commented on how great my skin looked (No, he is not GAY ok?). Don't that just make your day? 

My skin does not flake anymore..  No more uneven skin tones. And I dare say my dry skin on the face has been completely eliminated due to this product:-

I must warn you that SKII products are never cheap but for problematic skin (and by that I mean dry-really dry ..I do not have pimples or anything), but it works for me. So you guys should really give it a try.

And plus, Aries yang bayar untuk isteri kelihatan cantik bukan? Hehe

Please Grow Up

I am not getting it...

I am seeing a blog war???

The last time I saw this was for a case...YES, court case...defamation ... only that the people involved were spoiled, rich teen brats who had nothing better to do than comment how fat the other one is ...blah blah..

Even THEY managed to sort it out and sort off move on afterwards.

But we are not teens are we? Aren't we not in our late 20's going to 30?

One person writes a post, the other one does not agree and writes another post disagreeing, the one who write the original post takes it personally for some reason, retaliates and writes another post, the one who does not agree then writes another post on that and this has been going on for months and months!!!

And then it gets worse..they take it to facebook and twitter and friendster (still ada tu wooo)  and start having really mean status updates. Mulut macam s*al masing masing.

Sorry but I had to remove you guys from my bloglist because it was getting stupid. Yes STUPID. And remove you from my FB list or set my privacy setting, i stopped following you on twitter and remove you from friendster (i still have friendster hehe) on you guys berdua because really...REALLY, tak tahan ok.

For one, what one must understand when you blog is this:-

• You publish a post and the world can read it. Yes the WORLD. Your mum, children, dad, grandma, husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, people you have had an affair(s) with, your exes, the government, the FBI, CIA, loan sharks, lawyers, politicians, people you love, people you can't stand...they all can read it;

• Chances are when you write your post containing your views, not everybody in this world would agree. There are just too many people in this world who have experienced life differently and how they have experienced it may affect how they view what you view differently;

• If they disagree, DON'T take it personally, they disagree... so what? They are entitled to that. Unless they say something demeaning to you on a personal level like "She is so fat like a dugong" or "She looks like a man" or "OMG, he has tits" or "She is such s***" then that's just crappy la kan and memang nak kena la kan;

• Why can't all of us act our age? Where does common courtesy of agreeing to disagree with respect go? If blogwars can get this nasty, can you imagine real life?

Please grow up people!!! When one person or a slew of other people disagrees with you, it does not mean the whole world is against you. Not everybody is out to get you.

People have moved on, grown up, gotten married, have kids, divorced, died... there are bigger things in life than "Oh my god, he/she is being mean to me on his/her blog and I feel so sorry for myself".

If there is any discomfort or if you are offended by something because you do take it personally, do this:-

• Ask the person whether they meant you, it might not refer to you at all so jangan nak syok sendiri. Get your facts straight. This happened to me and I almost lost a friend sebab salah faham;

• Ask why they are making such lewd comments on your blog or in their blog and what is their problem;

• Tell them you think it's inappropriate; and

• If they don't stop, cut these people out of your life because you do not need these kind of people to bring you down.

Please grow up...!!

Paham paham sendiri lah ok?

'I feel like a mattress' and 'Maggi Ketam...'

Yes I do...

That's what I said yesterday to Aries on our 7 hour journey back from Mars.

"Abah, mama feels like a mattress"

Airiel, now almost 13 + kilos and already half mama's size was sleeping on her for 7 hours (ok, ok thank God he was sleeping instead of screaming his lungs out).

And then I think to myself. Where is the bloody highway for goodness sake? Don't Mars' citizens pay road tax just like you and me? I mean I'm sure if a highway was built, 99% of all of us (yes, I maybe an 'orang luar' but my Airiel is 'orang separuh dalam, separuh luar' mind you so I am going to say 'us') , I would pay for the bloody toll so that I would not have a freakin heart attack everytime Aries potong krete/lori dekat Bukit Tujuh Beradik or whatever it is called by the orang dalam.

The road is not comfortable for one, and what is worse its not safe. It's a freakin death trap laaa...and I mean, Aries bwk laju, so the journey is like 7 hours tops for us, sometimes 6, but a normal journey would take an average of 8 hours kan? Kalo jalan jem, it may even take 10 to 12 hours. That was what happened during raya last year to us. Uisshh, isn't 8 hours a ridiculous amount of time to spend in a car travelling? add crying babies and toddlers to the equation and there you go, a recipe for madness...!!!

Johor in kilometres is about the same km as Kota Bharu so imagine to cut-down in terms of travel time kalau ada highway? Aduyai...so that's why I said i feel like a mattress, and I think being a tilam tak best.. Uisshh..

Anyways...enjoyed time with Aries and Airiel and in laws at Bukit Keluang, cancelled the trip to Pulau Perhentian sebab weather tak brape elok. pics ada kat FB. Ok,  maybe one pic lah here

Inilah heart and soul, aren't the waves insane? memang takleh mandi

Ok, no more jiwang...peristiwa heppi campur tragedi. while chasing Airiel, my Iphone jatuh dalam laut (drama, sebenarnya tercelup aje, tp still rosak...sob sob). Sekarang ada di iphone hospital. So I bought the Blackberry Torch as a spare phone. Ingat nak maintain 2 lines, one for work and one for familia and close friends after this, so ada hikmah...so presenting the new member of the family...my red Blackberry Torch!!

I hereby name you 'Red'

What I really want to share here with you guys is a new food concoction I found in Mars.

May i present to you "Maggi Ketam"!!!  You can't see it from here but all the crabs have numbers written on em hehehe..

Airiel enter frame hehe, he has his own nasi putih and sup kosong 

 Tok Abah and Tok Mi enjoying the food

Airiel and his mango juice, yang ni fresh punye k? takde gula pun...hehe sedappp

Ok, this Maggi Ketam can be found at 'Rileks Cafe' in Kutan, Kota Bharu. It's a kedai tepi jalan so you can't miss it. I personally find the combination a bit weird, but hey...the taste is not bad. I want to warn you though, the prices are not cheap, for 4 maggi ketam, 6 drinks, nasi kosong, sup kosong and sup kosong bwk bungkus, the price was RM70 flat. In kelantan, that is like super expensive tau.

Trial next week, plus appeal hearings, plus submissions submissions. But I thank God for the vacation. Tenang sekali.

Happy CNY everyone!!!