A teary eyed day

The maid that takes care of Airiel has gone on 1 month leave (honestly I do not know if she is ever coming back) so I am left with Airiel almost immediately after work.

This means no shower, no time to even wash my face, dealing with tantrums every 10 minutes (Airiel either mengada-ngada or someone says no to him when he wants something) until at least 11 p.m which is his normal bedtime these days. You know he doesn't throw tantrums with the maids...but Nenda says it's because I rarely see him and he wants my attention (makes sense). He does the same thing when Aries is around (worse actually).

I am tired. Nenda is a working grandma so she can't really help out. I look at him and I melt and I do not feel tired at the time but as soon as he goes to sleep which is when the adrenalin stops, I realise  that my body aches, my head is dizzy, my adhesion colic starts up and I double up in pain.

This is when I feel the non-presence of Aries the most. Sigh

I always think to myself 'does he think about coming back?', 'doesn't he feel sorry for me doing all this alone?', 'is he having fun over there while I am up to my neck here with work and Airiel?'

I admit. I am bitter. I am bitter over a lot of things. I smile. I laugh. But the bitterness stays. I always feel it.

And then I saw this status update on his FB " I wish I could be in KL and don't have to come back to JB".

My tears flowed. Sob Sob

Terima kasih suami for letting me know that you want to be here too.

One day,  I know he is going to come through that door, hug both me and Airiel and whisper in my ear "I'm home...and I'm never leaving again".

I know it.

*Tears*