Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Kacau Daun

Feeling weaker by the day these days. On some days its bearable, on most it is not.

That is the perils of pregnancy and motherhood. The things we females do to populate this earth.

Anyways, that is not the subject of my blog post today. On my way to work, I tuned in to Mix FM where a girl called up stating the following:-

(i) that she approached a guy at work and started flirting with him recently;

(ii) that the guy reciprocated;

(iii) that soon afterwards she heard a rumour that he was engaged; and

(iv) and she managed to get confirmation that it was in fact true that he was.

She was saying that the guy always seemed miserable and that she believes she could make him happier and wants to go for him, knowing very well that he is engaged.

Now, I immediately got agitated and started to speak to myself in the car and saying how inappropriate this conduct was. But then I realised one thing, I point 1 finger at her, and there are about 4 other fingers pointing back at me.

Yes, Aries was in a long term, serious relationship when he met me. In fact, there were rumours that he was already engaged at the time (which I found out later was untrue of course). But anyhow, the point is, he was in an actual relationship, which give or take he was already in for 6 years of his life with a girl from his hometown, a beautiful one too I might add. How did I know she was pretty? I met her once in fact and I have to say, to this day I do wonder what the hell did he saw in me that he did not in her (since she was pretty, spoke Kelantanese and probably would fit into his family dynamics a lot better than I ever will).

In hindsight, the relationship that Aries had with her ended on an ugly note and she was very angry (who wouldn't be?) and the funny thing was, I never knew about her until Aries told me and took me to see her. Yes, I was under the impression that my floppy haired, skinny, bad boy Aries was single and ready to mingle. Boy, was I naive. I did try at one point to stop the madness and ask him to go back to this innocent, beautiful girl that he had spent 6 years being with, but he would have none of it. He was adamant that I was the ONE.

Is my lack of knowledge a mere reason for me to excuse myself for what took place? Do I tell myself at the time that it was JUST a relationship and nothing more, so it is ok then? It maybe so, but I cannot change the fact that my presence hurt another person immensely and eventually became the reason for a breakdown of a serious, long term relationship. She is of course happily married now and have a slew of kids to boot (I would know as she is from the same village as Aries and my MIL knows everything that there is to know there hahaha).

Maybe it is fate, atau jodoh orang kata. But I accept responsibility for what I did and the pain I caused to another human being.

At the end of the day, I suppose the line between what is right and wrong sometimes are not entirely clear, and we have to make decisions in our life that we have to live with.

Something to think about kan?

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