Went to Shah Alam Court, did my thing and stopped by Giant Shah Alam for my fave nasi lemak. I had to share a table with 2 females.
I was so happy with my nasi lemak and then came along this woman who stopped at the table and started screaming at one of the females sitting at the table with me. She was literally screaming her head off. I was shocked for the first 10 minutes, annoyed the next 10 minutes after that and angry at the tail end of another 10 minutes. Yes, she screamed for 30 minutes non stop before being asked to leave by security.
I was like WTF? I am trying to enjoy my nasi lemak man! What the hell are you doing invading my space dawg? At one point (maybe 20 minutes into her screaming) she was approaching the woman who was just sitting quietly eating and ignoring her, to hit her presumably when I had to open my mouth and say 'JANGAN NAK PUKUL PUKUL KAT SINI, SAYA LAWYER!'
It worked...she looked (more like glared) at me and stopped in her steps but then carried on screaming for the remainder of then 10 minutes.
She was later escorted by security outside, arms flailing and all. I lost my appetite but tried to finish my food nevertheless (hence the request for more paru-paru from the dumbfounded makcik). I was listening to what the 2 females was saying and managed to glean that the story sort of goes like this:-
Husband (I can't keep my thang in my pants) having an affair - Wife (aka calm female) found out - Wife divorcing husband - Husband wants wife back (aka gila talak) - Wife tells husband to go to hell - Husband realizes wife is love of his life and dumps screaming ( aka I can't keep my vajayjay in my pants which are 3 sizes to small) mistress - Mistress angry and scolds wife in public place.
I was like, apa ke jadah? Ada kes perempuan simpanan plak nak marah the rightful, lawful and wedded wife of the guy? Who by the way, is also the mother of his 3 children? Apakah?
You know what made it worse? It was the content of the mistress' seemingly incomprehensible screaming. She was saying things like:-
1. The husband has a small, reallyyyy small thang;
2. The husband does not know how to have intercourse properly;
3. The husband is a '2 minute' man; and
4. Other really embarrassing things which I simply cannot put in print, so graphic it was.
And here I am thinking to myself 'the guy had an affair with THIS?'. A woman who is saying all these things in public to embarrass him? The woman who dare scream at the mother of his children? If I was a guy and heard this, my balls (literally, both of them) would have shriveled with shame.
My mood for the day has been absolutely ruined!