"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
A moment in time...
It is funny how your memory fails you in the most uncanny of times. You forget things which you are supposed to remember. And how your memory just remembers things which should have been long forgotten.
I no longer dwell on the past, or draw from it. I distance myself from it as much as I can... and try to divert my attention to other things when I feel the sharp stabbing sensation in my chest that indicates how vividly I remember.
And I am ok on most days.
But when the memories flood you, you just drown in it. They do not give you room to breathe, to run away. It engulfs you... and I stand my ground. Eventually the feeling subsides.
And so Rose Kennedy is right. My mind recomposes itself as a protective mechanism so that I can remain sane.
May this Ramadhan give me strength and solace and a slippery memory (hehehe) so that I can finally forget what I do not need to remember.