We were on our way back from Taiping to KL, attending my counsin's engagement so no celebration.
But my heart spoke volumes. When I think about how his presence has blessed my life, I cannot cry hard enough, cannot thank Allah enough, cannot laugh enough.
He's smart enough to hug me when he sees me upset. Smart enough to run towards me when I come home from work, smart enough to wave goodbye when I go off to work. He hears me saying 'mama sakit badan lah Airiel' and he now knows how to give a massage. He says 'Adik uyut' which means 'urut' of course and pinches me here and there and I just laugh away.
I tell him about my day and he listens intently and then repeats what I say. We both laugh our heads off afterwards.
I know when he looks at me that he does not want anything else but my love. I know that no matter how bad a day I have at work, he will be at home waiting for me with those puppy eyes.
At the end of the day, I am ok.
He has made my life complete.
Only Allah knows how large a mother's heart can grow to accomodate the love she has for her child. And that is how I feel. Like there is so much love in this heart for him, so much so that it overflows sometimes in the form of tears. I do not know how to explain how this feels.
I do not believe in having birthday parties for little children as I do not think they know what it means. It annoys me when people ask me 'why?'...'why have you never had one?'. It seems like I love him less for not throwing a big birthday bash since I can afford it. Such is the culture these days. Maybe when he is bigger and can choose whether he wants to have one but now? No...
I just do not believe in it. A cake, a little doa selamat with family members sahaja suffices. I just do not believe in having big celebrations untuk benda sebegini. Membazir sungguh. Baiklah bersedekah ke org fakir miskin atau buat makan makan untuk mereka atas nama Airiel, bukankah itu yang lebih afdal? Again this is my view for my own child. I care not about what others do for theirs.
I hope he will read this one day and realise how loved he is, birthday party or not.