:-(

It's 7.30 and I'm in the office.

I miss my son..

I don't give a damn about my clients and this bloody opinion and the fact that I have to revert by the end of today.

I don't give a damn at all..

I just want to take Airiel in my arms and never let go..

*Sigh*

Last week's date

I was supposed to upload this last week..but was too busy. Anyways..me and Aries's quality time together..

Before our Wolverine movie..we had a quick lunch at Dong Si restaurant in Summit USJ..halal chinese food..

Can't remember the name of the dish..but it was chicken with dried chillies..delicious

Zi Ran lamb

Some kind of soup..it was really spicy but Aries loved it

Mushroom and sawi..but I finished all the mushroom

Obviously he can't get enough of the soup..teehee

Have started work..its been fun so far..i know its gonna start becoming crazy next week..

Will post more updates later

Jalan ini berliku

Ahhh...hidup itu hanya sementara..and jalan kehidupan ini sememangnya berliku..

Daripada-Nya kita berasal..dan kepada-Nya juga kita kembali..

Al-fatihah to beloved uncle who passed away at 3.00am today..

Nenda and atok pula masih di jakarta..so they were not at the funeral..

Dahla tu ..I am supposed to start work today..sigh..

Tetiba teringatkan arwah zack..

Sigh..

During the weekend

These were pics that were taken during the weekend...i'll let the pics do the talking
















And for the best pic of all..a rare moment between father and son..


Loves
Mama aka Wifey

Updates

Repairs on the house are underway..and the family has been thought the very expensive lesson called 'MAINTENANCE' . If you don't maintain, things akan rosak..and you would have replace or repair instead.






Malaysia has also reported its first swine flu case. For details go here. Parents, i suggest you refrain from taking your kids out to crowded places..this thing is airborne..so paham paham jela..
Other than that, take steps to protect them..I really am not sure what steps though..

And..the cutest pic of atuk and airiel.

TADA..!!!

Loves..
Mama aka Wifey

My little angel...

Dah suka mandi hehe..tak nangis pon..!

Beloveds

As promised..photos of my beloveds..

Airiel first attempts at 'meniarap' and his new hobby, watching tv!

while daddy Aries slaves away in court! haha..

xoxo
Mama aka Wifey

Of tears and laughter

This post is going to be quite a long one.

Its one of those days where a lot goes through my mind and I need to get rid of it all.

But first things first.

The congratulations

Congrats to adis and perqq for tying the knot. ..me and adis and perqq go a long way back..here are some nostalgic pics of us Me and adis



Tunku Munawwir & Co, from left - Perqq, Jaz,Adis, Me n Mike


Some of the girls in our class


Nearing the end

Congrats to both of you. Marriage is tougher than being in love as it involves way more than that..but I wish u both the best.

Of tears

I was reading Ida's post and was brought to tears. I think the fear that lies in all of us as we start getting older is losing the 2 people who would always see us as little children..forever 5, forever needing their protection..our parents.

My mum has survived one major operation and 3 hospitalisation, dad pulak a heart attack and one major surgery plus penyakit busung dek terkena buatan org..they're a tough bunch..but everytime they get sick..the fear overtakes me..and I know how Ida feels.

Ida, hope your dad gets better. He'll be in my prayers.


Of more tears

Raising airiel alone breaks my heart. I have good days where I feel like I'm ok and that I'll get through it..and I have bad days where I feel like Aries is not being fair to me..leaving me to do this all alone..and how I just want to pack everything up and take little airiel with me to johor..

What good would that do? thinking with your heart and not your head? I ask myself this on my bad days..but it still kills me when I look at my bed and see Aries side that 's made up and not slept in..

Honestly, we avoid talking about the situation, because we know nothing can be done. He would have to wait for a much longer time before he has a chance for a transfer..and bos dia plak..cehhh hampeh nak faham situasi mcmni..and yes..as strong as I am and I have been throughout the pregnancy alone, labour alone..the tears do come..and I wonder whether the resentment I have for Aries for being able to have 8 hours of sleep at night..of being able to go out as he pleases and living so freely in johor is fair or not to Aries..but that is how I feel..sigh


This was when we started going out..needless to say..we were inseperable..how things have changed since..we are now 300 miles apart from each other..sigh..

Today is a bad day..

Perhaps tomorrow will be better..

Addicted to shopping

I've always been an avid shopper. Aries knew what was coming la kan..haha

Time confinement a whole new shopping world was shown to me..simply to pass the time sebab tak boleh keluar..

I am now addicted to online shopping..

I am seriously addicted..

These things arrived last week for Airiel..

these are from www.izziet.blogspot.com


this was from hugznkisseseveryday.blogspot.com (kak iza's blogshop)



I bought 2 tops for myself

As stated in the pic, this top was from kookything.blogspot.com

and

a top from elegantwardrobe - mine is in purple and is oh so gorgeous..

The links for blogshops that I've put up in my blog are tried and tested...meaning I've bought from them and i know they're legit..

Thanks guys for your fab items!

Mum

A lot of people dedicated a post for their mums on mothers day..

I dont think it is necessary for me..

Showed it to her instead..

Love u mom

Yours truly,
Hajar

Judge me not

The previous post where I explained how I stopped breastfeeding, the brand of diapers I buy have apparently sparked serious responses which I have received via e-mail.

1. How could you buy a cheap diapers for your son?

2. Why did you stop breastfeeding? What do you mean he does not like your breastmilk anymore?

3. Don't you want the best of the best for your son?

4. I would never do that to my children..

Sigh..what these haters are trying to say is simple.. 'I AM A BAD MOTHER'

My answers to her was simple:

1. Diapers? His ass do NOT know the difference;

2. My boobs, my breastmilk..my business;

3. I want the world for my son..and I want him to grow up and not care about negative people like you;

4. Well, you can do whatever you want to your children..I will NOT judge you for it..

Our society is seriously sick..when you were not married, people judge you on why you're not and pressure you to get married. Once you do get married, they judge you infertile if you tak get pregnant cepat-cepat and judge you some more if they knew you were fertile but wanted to plan your pregnancies by saying you nak tolak rezki and nanti tuhan tak nak bagi you zuriat. Once you have a kid..they judge you every step of the way on how you raise them pulak..sheesh..macam-macam..

I feel sorry for this person needless to say..penyakit hati ni memang susah nak baik..

YOU, YES YOU

Akikah

No date has been set because atuk and nenda will be away in Jakarta for work for a whole week.

Plus the house is in shambles and needs serious repairs..and yes..I am responsible for them..

I have decided on a theme.. blue and cream I think..and I've got a photographer in mind for the day..

Kambing ada 3 ekor, one from atok, nenda and kawan atok bagi lagi sekor..

Meriah insyaallah..dapat jamu org org makan..maybe around 150 tops?

Cuma nak cari buaian..nak sewa jer kot for the day..any suggestions anyone on where I can rent one?

Ohh and before this precious picture dissappears..this is how Airiel looked when he was born



Cuteness in the flesh..

The climb

I feel a deep sense of satisfaction today...

Looking back at my life..I realised that I've managed to beat the odds at every step of the way..and truly I am thankful to be so blessed...

But beating the odds needs hard work..and you need to persevere..

I've managed to beat my health issues that have always been perceived as life threatening since childhoood

They told me that even a small cut can be life threatening..that i could bleed to death..they told me childbirth was too risky..apatah lagi a c-sect..and for a while..i had to underwent a whole lot of pain and suffering...but i never let it affect my studies..never let it affect my job..never let it affect how i lived my life..

Now I have Airiel..and I am alive..

I was able to bounce back from the death of a truly loved one..my angel with silver wings..when I thought that I never could love again..i plucked up the courage to open up and let people in..and now I love like I have never loved before..Aries is everything to me..dan semoga cinta ini sampai nafas terakhir..sampai ke syurga

I never thought that I was strong enough to go through the trials and tribulations of pregnancy, labour and motherhood pretty much on my own..yes, there are days when I feel like..I couldn't...but here I am now...I made it

I heard Miley Cyrus's new song on American Idol the other day...and she was right

It's all about the climb..

Miley Cyrus - The Climb lyrics | LyricsMode.com

"

I made it..

Grumpy mummy

I am one grumpy mummy today...

1. The place i was injected at the KK during Airiel's and my checkup is now swollen and sitting down is a pain..oh I can't baring on my right without cringing either..

2. Airiel mistakenly thinks that the day is night and night is day..which makes me grumpy as I want to play with him during the day but I can't..

3. I tried on all my old jeans and they all fit fine but I kinda feel like as a mom..i need to move on and wear something more sopan..so that makes me grumpy..

4. I want to eat steak but Aries is not around so i can't because I want him to pay for it..

5. My precious lil' kelisa needs to be serviced but I haven't gotten around to doing it..

6. The house needs a major revamp..the wood needs to be replaced, odds and ends needs to be repaired, the fridge, air cond, fans, the marble floor needs grinding and the parquet floor needs polishing.. expenses are gonna go through the roof and I am responsible for the management of the expenses of this house...

7. I can't seem to find a baju melayu online for little airiel for the akikah...

8. I miss Aries and I wish I could hug him and have his support but i know thats kind of tough as he works 300 miles away..

9. Airiel's next medical checkup is on the 18th and i dread the prospect of seeing him injected again..FYI..last time he got injected, I bawled..and embarrassed myself..

Blessed I am..I know..but grumpy I am still..

Sigh

Updates

I received these last Thursday!


I bought them online and loved them! Quite a bargain at 5 rompers for RM45. Right now memang prefer beli baju Airiel online, tak payah pakai duit minyak, bersesak rebut parking pastu kalau boleh tak nak tinggalkan Airiel lama lama. So easier kalau beli online in the comfort of home..tapi serious badan Airiel besar, ini baju utk 3-6 months tapi pakai memang muat muat je especially panjang baju tu..sbb Airiel mmg sgt panjang....so lepas ni nak scout for clothes yang 6 to 9 months plak.

And it is official, I've stopped breastfeeding since last week. Airiel dah tak mahu minum susu mama dia lagik..sedih sampai kuar airmata fikirkan tapi nak buat camne. Selama ni pakai formula utk top up je tapi sekarang memang minum susu formula exclusively...and Airiel minum susu ni


Enfalac A+ dia tak tahan minum, dia sesuai minum Enfalac biru ni. Alhamdulillah pun sebab Enfalac yang ni murah skit :-) ..Iza gi borong kat Mydin USJ where it is way cheaper berbanding supermarket lain, RM33 per 650gm packet, kat tempat lain is RM 37 for the same packet.

Diapers pun Iza gi borong kat Mydin, beli jelah aper brand pun sebab nama pun lampin PAKAI BUANG..haha tak berbaloi beli mahal-mahal..mcm beli cloth diaper mahal tapi Airiel last last tak tahan kulit dia pakai..tapi alhamdulillah setakat ni, lampin pakai buang brand aper pun kulit dia tahan.takde rash ke aper..


Setakat ni budget every month for Airiel is around RM400 utk barang-barang dia..so not bad jugak..taklah kos melambung sgt..sebab kongsi dgn Aries, so RM200 sorang..oklah setakat ni. The key is to find good bargains I guess and prepare a budget..

And last but not least..aksi terbaru my baby angel Aries

Insomnia has struck again

I use to dread the night coming as I value my sleep and Airiel doesn't sleep at night ( ikut atuk dia). Anyways..now I have a problem..

Airiel sleeps now..but I can't..I previously struggled with insomnia for almost 7 years..and was only able to have a normal sleeping pattern once I met Aries.

Alamak..I do not want my insomnia to come back now..it brings on a whole slew of other problems..

Habistu mcmmana ni?

On a seperate note, tomorrow or more aptly today as it is 1 oclock already, is the first day of my freedom sebab dah abis 40 hari berpantang..

I am going out and getting Airiel's nenda and bonda (which is actually my older sister, just so u know) to babysit and spend some quality time with Aries..I do not want our lives to revolve around little Airiel, precious as he is..and then lose sight of us as husband and wife..as I realised the key to Airiel's future happiness is to have happy parents and parents who are in love with each other (i've been watching to much schmuley).

Enough babble for this morning, I'm gonna get back to my online shopping.

I think most parents make this mistake..