The Darkness Is Coming...

"Some nights the sky wept stars that quickly floated and disappeared into the darkness before our wishes could meet them" ~ Ishmael Beah

My dearest Akif,

02.02.2013.

On Monday it will be 02.02.2015.

Tick tock tick tock.

You would have been 2 years old.

I know you are in a better better place than I could ever be or hope to see.

I am glad that of all places, that is where you are. 

I have like so many things I have done in my life, let you go.

But like all mothers, I have to say I miss you.

I miss you everyday, but on some days I have to admit it gets unbearable for me. I call them the 'dark days'.

I can feel it angel son. I can feel the darkness coming. 

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't eat. I can't function. The dark days are always that bad. Your big brother Airiel keeps me going. Drags me out of bed. Covers my tears with kisses. Makes me laugh. Keeps me sane. 

What I would give for a hug, for 45 minutes with you, to hear your voice or laugh or something like that. But I know, I am selfish because that is maybe what I think I want, but once I get a taste of that, I would want more. More and more. More and more of you. 

Some things are just not meant to be. 

Nothing else hurts like missing you do. Nothing.

Promise me Akif, that when the day comes....ages and ages from now that you will find me. That is what was promised by the Almighty to me. Find me. 

"Masih terasa nafasmu

Lembut menusuk jiwaku

Tenang dihembus bayu

Membawa khabar rindu

Tapi sulit ku teruskan

Engkau jauh ke hadapan

Aku tabah berjalan

Sembunyikan harapan..."

We are not lost....

"I'm sure you think that I don't understand what you're going through, but I do.

It's just that sometimes, our future is dictated by what we are, as opposed to what we want..." 

~ Nicholas Sparks

Hello Readers,

Don't really have that much time to update. But most of the updates are on my IG anyway. 

The pics from my photoshoot are back!.

This one picture I will share with you guys.

You are not alone

I am always there with you

And we'll get lost together

Till the light comes pouring through

Because when you feel like you're done

And the darkness has won

Babe, you're not lost

When the world's crashing down

And you can't bear the thought

I would say 'Babe, you're not lost'...

Micheal Buble - Lost

I love you son.

Remember.

Weekie - Silka Maytower, Kuala Lumpur

"Since I was young, I have always known this: Life damages us, everyone. We can't escape that damage. But now, I am also learning this: We can be mended. We mend each other..." ~ Veronica Roth

Hello readers,

I have been busy hence the lack of updates.

Juggling is apparently, quite tiring.

Anyways, updates on my weekie last weekend.

First one of 2015! hehe.

This time we went to Silka Maytower Hotel and Service Apartments which was located smack dab in the middle of KL.

 The deco and room

Airiel chilling in the pool. The water is not dirty. Its the way the tiles are coloured somehow. The tiles were not dirty either. Just the colour (hmmmnn)

Pros :-

1. Location, location, location - It's like smack dab in the middle KL. Jakel was just opposite the hotel. Pasar Malam dekat belakang. All other shopping areas was a short walk away. Airiel's bonda went crazy fabric shopping. I decided to sit this one out because I had too many fabrics (some tak bertempah lagi huhu);

2. Food is cheap and can be found practically everywhere. Airiel's Atuk loved this area because he is crazy about mamak food. Hadoi;

3. Price - the rate I got from booking.com was pretty cheap about, RM180 all in for a room; and

4. I absolutely loved the customer service here. The staff attentive and very, very patient. We usually order room service for Airiel's Maksu and Airiel as well, because he would refuse to leave his room and just chill inside (alamak, too much like Mama laaa this one) and as it was raining so badly the night we stayed, I decided to order room service myself. Hands down one of the best room service ordered spaghetti I have ordered ever because I wanted it spicy and they actually catered to my whim (cili padi thrown in and all) and it was really flavourful.

Cons:- 

1.  The car park for the hotel is a public car park so random people would park and then walk out to shop around the area, makes it a little bit congested at times; and

2. My room is always, always the last to be ready for check in (whyla why?). I tell you, for those reading this please check out on time and be considerate. Other people have paid to stay next in the room. Can't really blame the hotel but I was quite annoyed nevertheless.

Alright.

It's Friday.

Have a good weekend ahead. Mine is pretty full. 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Boycott Israel 2015 - Part 1

"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart..." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Hello readers,

It has been a while.

The world is an uproar. We all know the details. Sigh

I have been busy.

Anyways, I have found an awesome product to aid in your boycotting Israeli products effort. 

3 in 1 coffee hehehe. If you fancy coffee and malas nak pergi beli dekat coffee shop and nak a quick fix. I found Kopiko 3 in 1 Latte Mix.

I accidentally deleted my own pic so this is from google. What makes it awesome is the choco granules (top thingy you see in the pic above) which you sprinkle over the coffee and then slowly mix in. Absolutely yummy for a 3 in 1 mix.

And yes, it passes the Buycott test.

So there you go guys. A great alternative. Israel free. 

Download the 'Buycott' app on your android and iphone and lets get in on the BDS campaign. It works!

Have a good week ahead.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Bintang Hatiku....

"I pledge to keep you safe..." ~ Kimberly Derting

Aku akan menjagamu

Semampu dan sebisaku

Walau ku tahu ragamu tak utuh

Kan ku terima kekuranganmu

Dan ku tak akan mengeluh

Kerana bagiku engkaulah nyawaku

Hello readers.

Welcome to 2015.

This is a shot from the photoshoot I had with Airiel.

Love, love the picture. Because it captures how I look at Airiel. How I feel.

And yes, I do feel too much.

Too much.

Much love from Airiel and I

Peace and love to everyone.