Friday, September 27, 2013

The Worst Time...

"Everybody was sorry. Sorry was easy. Sorry was for suckers" ~ Gretchen McNeil

A reader emailed me asking, what is the worst time for me in a day, when you get sad and remember all these things that have happened, when do you miss Akif the most?

There are a few times in a day basically. I wake up everyday and the first 5 minutes of waking up, I feel this amazing void and realise that something in my life is missing. But as soon as I am fully awake I am okay. It is just the moment just before that, the few minutes before consciousness sets in, that is the worst. Airiel makes a point of waking me up with a kiss every day and he makes me feel so much better. Thank you Allah for letting him be present in my life.

And then whenever I drive. Yupp, we Malaysians spend so much time on the road kan? Whenever I drive alone my mind just drifts. I dread driving these days. I am reminded of how I drove myself bleeding to the hospital with Nenda and Airiel on her lap, crying. Things like that, you just can't forget. Sigh

And lastly, those moments before I drift to sleep. Always the hardest. Always...

I hope I have answered her questions. She recently lost her twin brother and was finding it hard to cope. No one seemed to understand her grief. I am so sorry for your loss...

Happy Friday and have a good weekend readers. Wish me luck for my marathon this Sunday!!

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