Peace

What is peace really?

Is it living in a country where there is no war? And yet I am sure my Aisha was at peace in her heart in war torn Gaza till the day she passed away.

Is it living in a situation where you have mounds of cash at your disposal? And yet I see people sweeping rubbish on the streets smiling, not beset by troubles with frown on their faces like the faces I see in my office everyday in their 1 thousand ringgit immaculately pressed Hugo Boss shirts and Ferragamo shoes.

Is it living knowing that you are loved by the people whom you love? But which one of us are ever truly loved and truly loves in return? More often than not love is the cause of our misery is it not? the chain that binds us and torments our dreams and memories?

I am going to be 30 this year and more than anything, I want to just live my life in peace...

I want to wake up to see Airiel's face - pray 5 times a day - go to work and be appreciated for what I do - go home and see Airiel's face - sleep with a kiss from Airiel -  buy my fave bags, shoes and clothes when I feel like it - take vacations - do things on my bucket list - hang out with my girls - hang out with my best friend - and go to sleep without having nasty nightmares.

That to me is inner peace.

I want to live my life free from drama, from pain and from constant turbulence.

This is my life and I want to live it in the best way possible.

I am still trying to figure out what is the best way...