A visit

I have lived with you and loved you, and now you are gone. 

Gone where I cannot follow, until I have finished all of my days ~ Victoria Hanley

Whenever I have the time...I come visit.

Visits are hard...

I still can't find the courage to look at proper headstones for his grave...more time is what I need maybe..

Until next time little Akif...

Online Shopping 2013 - More Tops

"That was the hard thing about grief, and the grieving. They spoke another language,

and the words we knew always fell short of what we wanted them to say" ~ Sarah Dessen

Hi readers,

Enough of the doom and gloom of my previous posts. I need to try and cheer myself up. At times of distress, what would Paris Hilton do?

Why, shop of course!! What a wise one she is...

Ok, back to my recent purchases.

These are actually the same tops which I bought and blogged about in this post. I loved the tops so much I am buying it in the rest of these colours too!

They are of course from EDZ.

Enjoy!

That same dream...

Akif,

Thank you for visiting mama in dreams. I told the Almighty how much I miss you, and to let me see you even if it is just in dreams.

And so I see you.

I am sitting outside a beautiful garden...I hear the sound of children laughing, or children reading the Quran...and I am outside. I cannot go inside.

And then you come out, you are about your big brother Airiel's age. You look just like ME! All fair and mata sepet and handsome and beautiful. And you give me the biggest, bestest hug Mama could ever have. Mama sits down, you sit on Mama's lap. And you just continue hugging me.

We don't speak but it just feels so great, to have you in my lap, with your arms around my neck. We sit with each other for ages it feels like. Mama hears the sound of a flowing river...the place is so beautiful but everytime Mama wakes up, mama can't seem to describe it, because it is not anything like Mama have ever seen on this Earth.

And then, you get up. And tears start forming in Mama's eyes, because Mama knows its time for you to go back, its time for you to leave Mama. You give me one final huge hug and then you whisper one sentence in Mama's ears... "Forgive him Mama, forgive him or he will never see me here...".

And then you run off into that beautiful garden. And Mama tries to follow and hold on to your hand, but Mama just wakes up.

This is how Mama meets you. Inilah cara Tuhan bagi Mama lepaskan rindu kat Akif.

It breaks Mama up Akif when Mama dreams of you. Mama is so happy Mama gets to hug you and be with you. But Mama doesn't know whether Mama can forgive Akif. And everytime Mama dreams of you, this is what you ask of me. Why? What if Mama does forgive? Does it mean you won't come in Mama's dreams anymore? Mama is just so scared.

Mama needs time, perhaps an entire lifetime to forgive Akif. What Mama went through, Mama wishes it on no one, for no woman should go through it, such burden and grief to bear.

Until the next time we meet, little Akif. Mama misses you so very much, everyday... all the time....

Thank you Allah for letting me see my son, for I miss him so...

Never Forget [Boycott Israel - Progress Update]

My boycott have gone on strong still alhamdulillah.

Please readers, Israel is counting on us forgetting the cause, forgetting the fight, forgetting those who struggle.

So don't forget.

This is not just a religious crusade, in fact it is far from that. Do you guys know that 1 out of 4 Palestinians are not even muslims? And yet they are massacred just the same. Because they are Palestinians. This is APARTHEID people. Plain and simple.

They (you  know who) think they are a superior race, more than that of any race on this earth.

Remember what Nelson Mandela (my idol) said about the Palestinian crisis:-

Never forget readers. Never forget that evil is real. It is out there. It kills women and children. It slaughters the innocent. It imprisons without cause, it sentences without due process.

It is real.

NEVER FORGET.

And so Aisha, Ummi will always remember. Always....

Bye Bye Google Reader... - Alternatives?

I was heartbroken to find out Google reader will be no more soon - 1st July that is. I have all my shopping information kept in there, marked things that caught my eye at first glance ... before going through them again and deciding what to buy.

Such is the life of an avid online shopper.

But fret not other google reader fans, there are alternatives that I have found I can rely on. And I list down my top 3.

No. 3
Pulse - This app. was launched on the Ipad and is great. It doesn't rely on google reader for it to sync to although you can sync it to google reader if you want and is great on its own. Give it a try


No. 2
The Old Reader - I love this reader because it is so very much like google reader in appearance and all, except for the fact that all my old marked posts were gone and I had to start fresh with marking! But with thousands of sites in my list, how the heck do you remember right?

No. 1
Feedly - This is the frontrunner for me. I absolutely love how it looks! And since it syncs with google reader, all your marked posts were there. I have been told that feedly will come up with a carbon copy of the google reader's API (kinda sorta the genetic makeup of how google reader works) so I am expecting a smooth transition on the 1st July.


Allright readers who use google reader. Have a go at these will you. I can sleep better knowing I will not lose all my subscriptions!

I am going to miss you Google Reader. We have had a beautiful relationship all these years. But all good things must come to an end. HUgssssss

Have a good weekend ahead readers.

I'm signing off for the week

Cerita Erina

"You think that true love is the only thing that can crush your heart; that will take your life and light it up or destroy it. Then you become a mother... ~ Grey's Anatomy"

Only a mother who have lost a child themselves know the grief.

And yes I know, know too well that grief.

A fellow mother's story on how she lost her own child brings me to tears.

Read Erina's story.

Tears...