Monday, March 5, 2012

A weekend of hits and misses

Weekends are usually great for me, but the last weekend I had, well it was a bittersweet.

It was great to have Aries back for the weekend, but it was just one of those weekends where you get tired of the routine of being a weekend husband and wife. I was fresh being in tears (in the office no less on a Friday evening) after Nenda and Atuk wanted me to come home early as they had to go and balik kampung but I couldn't as I had to rush something.

It made me feel like I am a bad mother. And I honestly can withstand any crap anyone throws at me, save for anything that is related to my son. It was not anything really, just Atuk and Nenda saying that I should come home early so that Airiel won't  be at home alone with her nanny, and me being overly sensitive. But I was upset and annoyed regardless. I felt annoyed that Aries can be away for so long and be here on the weekends and that was totally acceptable and normal. But if I was late for one day out of a week, I feel like I am not trying hard enough to be at home. Sigh. Its not like Atuk and Nenda said anything, its just how I feel, like I am not doing or trying hard enough. It affects me to no end.

So in the end, Aries had to listen to me talking about how I wanted him home more often for the whole 40 mins drive from LCCT to home at 1.00 a.m in the morning. Poor him, he stayed completely quiet throughout.

The weekend was great because I took Airiel to the Taman Desa Waterpark (which honestly is a great, cheap and quaint little alternative to overcrowded Sunway Lagoon) and after about an hour or so, Airiel started to warm up to the slides and water (he has a fear of the pools as he fell into our fish pond when he was rather small, courtesy of one negligent, always on the phone with boys maid who is now no longer with us).

But it was also in Taman Desa Waterpark did I drop my beloved Samsung SII into the water. It was my fault. I wanted to take it along so that I can take pics of Airiel playing, but in my haste to get into the water with him, I dropped it. I wasn't that upset at first, but after about 5 hours later and when my Samsung SII couldn't be switched on, I realised that it was really a goner. Sigh. 2 thousand smackaroonies gone in flames or rather, gone underwater. Sigh

The weekend was great because we got to go out together as a family. But this weekend was supposed to be the weekend that I got Stevie back, but then Aries couldn't do it because his version of spoiler yang 'up' skit tak sampai lagi. So we had to drive around in Bambi. And suddenly on Sunday afternoon the front skirting of Bambi fell down after Aries reversed the Bambi out of the house. Standardla kan, nasib kereta yang terlampau lowered. And I got all flustered and worried because I didn't want to drive around in an unsafe car, I mean if any other skirting jatuh, Aries won't be here to help. I would be alone, and that thought freaked me out. Sigh

And you know the piece of work I was supposed to rush. Of course I was not able to do it after being so upset on a Friday evening right? So after sending Aries to the airport on the Sunday, coming back home, playing and watching Star Wars  with Airiel and putting him to bed, I finished the work, circulated the same to bosses at 2.00 a.m and ended up unable to sleep as my mind was working in a rushed daze.

I had a fitful sleep, woke up early and groggy and rushed to the office super early to finalise and file everything TODAY. Yes, TODAY. I drafted something on Sunday midnight to file and serve on Monday. Sigh.

Like I said, hits and misses. Hits and misses.

I hope the remainder of the week will be better.

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