Monday, January 9, 2012

Down with the sickness

Like I have said in my previous posts, I have been super sick. I still am at the moment...

Its funny how when you're sick, your mind tends to wander to things past, present and sometimes dreams for the future. While drifting in and out of consciousness due to my medication, i vaguely remember Aries' tears falling on my cheeks and whispering to me in my sleep word I cannot make out or remember, that he was stroking my forehead and hair...did I imagine that? I don't know... i honestly don't remember.

I remember shivering with a fever so high on Sunday and vaguely remember Aries holding my hand and kissing my forehead before he left for JB. Was that truly real? Such a blur it was.

I vaguely remember Airiel, my soul coming in and out of my room to check on me. I remember him kissing my forehead everytime he would visit me and he would 'I love you' before he left. How in my drowsiness from medication, I would still tear up and cry. And despite my best efforts, Airiel and Aries have gotten my bug and Airiel was taken to the clinic today.

How Bonda got the best medication for me, and how in the course of treating me, she caught my bug and ended up sick as well.

How Nenda cooked the best home made rice porridge in the world, put it in a bowl and took it upstairs for me to eat because I couldn't keep any food down and my joints and ribs ached so much that I couldn't go down and get it myself.

How Atuk, in his usual fashion got me some air doa for me to drink so that I would get better.

My dreams are equally weird, I dreamt of being at moyang's house stroking her forehead as she slept  with her loyal maid by her side.  I dreamt of being in my white kancil where Aries first proposed to me 2 weeks after we met. I dreamt of seeing Airiel after the doctors took him out of my tummy and showed me his little, tiny feet...

How in my pain and suffering, I have become closer to Allah.

My word, I am LOVED.

How this sickness have opened my eyes to that..

There is indeed no greater joy in life than the knowledge that you are loved.

I hope to get better soon. Please pray for us in the family who are sick. Amin

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