My social experiment

So in my last post , I did say that I was going to tell you guys what is the social experiment (kind of) that I am putting myself through.

Well, it's about..you guessed it..me and Aries.

I like calling him, like a couple of times a day. Sampai at one point rasanya Aries get annoyed and marah me (sort of, sniff sniff) sebab dia kata mcm suffocated gitu. I was so upset so I went cold turkey. Tak call dia ape lgsg seminggu.

I honestly found the results quite scary. Bolehje hidup tanpa call dia.

Yupp, boleh. Once dah set mind, rupanya boleh survive tanpa dia dlm hidup.

I think I am extreme. It's either I feel too much or absolutely nothing. And I can make myself feel absolutely nothing.

Habistu howla to call it a marriage? Kalau tak kisah tak berhubungan lgsg..bukankah jadik mcm strangers?

Uish uish..maybe Aries jenis takde perasaan jiwang..ataupun tak tahulah apa yg jadik kat sana pada dia..sigh sigh, nak jejakkan kaki kat JB pon skrang ada problem yg tak dapat ditulis disini.. so kepala hotak mcm buntu.

So after getting a scare like this..mcm nak cuba jiwang balik kat Aries, tapi naturally dia akan annoyed balik.

Org kata 'out of sight, out of mind' betulke?

I realise we women can do absolutely everything if we set our mind to it. Even living, physically and perhaps in my extreme case, even mentally and soulwise...seperately. Perhaps, this is what they call 'drifting apart'. Sigh..I don't know.

Tapi at the risk of jiwang karat terlebih, and buat malu muka sendiri sebab bertepuk sebelah tangan..baiklah teruskan dgn eskperimen sosial ni. Sigh, I remember those days masa Aries tgh mengorat diriku ini..bukan main lagik...never thought what they say is true, marriage kills the romance.

For me apparently it does.

I hope it does not for you.

This post is not intended to show Aries in a negative light. MasyaAllah no. He is a husband yang bertanggungjawab. Cukup makan dan pakai diberikan to me and without a doubt, a loving father. Tapi itulah..marriage ini suatu amanah..and like all amanah, sgt susah untuk dipelihara dan dijaga. Sigh..kita senantiasa mengabaikan sesuatu yang kita rasa sentiasa akan ada. Itu human nature. That I know.

I am sure that deep down Aries loves me, but I do not think he realizes that it takes more than silence to keep love alive, and more than indifference to keep a marriage afloat.

This candid post might make some people uncomfortable.

If it does, then please LEAVE.