Time

"Some things don't last forever, but some things do. Like a good song, or a good book, or a good memory you can take out and unfold in your darkest times, pressing down on the corners and peering in close, hoping you still recognise the person you see there..." ~ Sarah Dessen

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Most Merciful.

From the outset, I would like to state that this post is about my angel kids, the children I have lost. 

Akif and Aisha, this one is for you.

Every single year, and how long has it been? Akif would have been 4, Aisha would have been 10, I would be shrouded in darkness. I just go deeper and deeper into it, not being able to get out.

I remember the devastating email that came from Palestine informing me I had lost may daughter. 

I remember that at this time during the year in 2012, I stopped going to work. I was in and out of hospitals, the days I was not, I would be in a coffee shop, counting kicks, noting it down in my book. Hoping for life, but as a mom, inevitably knowing that death was near.

To be honest the images, they get more clouded, less clear every year. But the feelings, that somehow remains the same. 

I keep on waiting and waiting for  the feelings to subside, to die down, to numb but years on I have to say that I felt as much grief now as I did years ago.

I am surrounded by people that I love, that love me and my, I am blessed. 

But the void, it never truly goes away. I try to keep myself busy, but there are times I wonder how this little boy would look like had he lived. How I would be preparing for playschool for him now. How maybe he would look like his big brother. How he would drive me crazy with his antics. How this, how that...

I wonder whether Aisha would have lived to obtain a permit to leave Gaza and come visit her ummi all the way in Malaysia. I heard almost her entire family is gone now. None living past the age of 40. 

And it feels the same. It hurts just the same as it did when it happened.

What is it am I supposed to do now? How long is this grief thing supposed to take? Because to be honest I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. I am sick of walking around with the weight of all this grief, with the memories that haunt me while I wake.

Every single damn end of the year.

There is always a phrase that haunts me in my dreams these few months, and I stop sleeping, I stop eating, I stop living. That phrase that screams out loud inside my head.

"I'M SO SORRY I COULDN'T SAVE YOU..."

I am so sorry kids. I tried. I did everything I could. It just was not meant to be.

I wish I could hear them say it, that they forgive me. Then maybe I could forgive myself. 

Maybe. 

Maybe one day.

Not today. 

Not for a long time yet.

Akif's journey can be read here.

There is no definition of 'Better' for me...

"At the temple there is a poem called "Loss" carved into  the stone.  It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it.." ~ Arthur Golden

This request has been sitting in my inbox for the longest time. 

I read it, reread it, thought about helping her answer the question, decided against it, left it hoping i'd forget, came across it again...the process repeats every so often.

Her daughter passed away in her sleep of SIDS 7 years ago. She says 7 years to the day and she is having trouble to deal. She has sleepless nights, she has nightmares. I am fine with reading this. And then after telling me what she has gone through, she asks me a question which makes me shift in my seat everytime I read it. She asks me 'have you gotten better? how do you deal with it? I see you have not written about your feelings for a while...', Everytime I read this email, I wanted to delete it but the last sentence always stops me. She says 'please help me sis...I don't know what to do. It's affecting my marriage, its affecting my capabilities as a mother...please help...' 

I shift in my seat because I honestly do not know how to answer her. I don't. For the longest time I did not want to answer, because the truth is painful, but I owe it to Akif to help other mothers who have suffered the loss of their kids. That was my promise to myself when he died. So i will try my best.

The short answer is 'I don't know'. The long answer would be 'it depends on the day'. 

How do I go back to the way I was before Akif died? That is basically what her email was asking me, whether she can ever get better and go back to the way she was.

I honestly can't speak for anybody else, but for me, there was never any going back to who I was before he died. I will never go back to the way I was before that point. It was simply impossible.

When he died, a part of me died with him, and that is permanent. What part of me that I lost was permanent, irreversible. And so I changed. When he died, I changed.  

But that did not mean I never got better. Not being able to go back to the way I was did not equate to not getting better, it just meant that I had to learn to make the best of what is left of me now and moving forward.

Because moving forward is inevitable, because not moving forward would mean that I would have to stay still and die. And I simply could not do that. I had one more son which was alive, which needed me. And he was stubborn in his demand for whatever that I had left. He would look me in the eye and tell me how much he loved me and demanded that I say it back to him 10 times louder. He would wake me up with kisses and drag me out of bed when I simply had no strength to go through a particular day. He was relentless, constant, unwavering. In other words, he kept me alive. And for the longest time, I had the weirdest logical thought process, I must stay alive and be the best person I can be, because that is the only way I might get a shot at seeing Akif after all that is said and done on the other side.

But that is my drive to pick up the pieces of whoever I was left and to stick it back together and hobble along. I don't know whats yours. But whatever it is, keep on holding on to it. Don't expect to be exactly who you were before she died of SIDS. Don't use that person as a benchmark or definition of getting 'better'. It is NOT and it never will be. The person who you were before is gone, so say goodbye to her and make your peace with the fact that you have changed along with what has happened to you.

People say, the songs say about how nothing can break them, and equates being broken to weakness. For the longest time, I believed it too. But these tears, our tears, our despair and overcoming it is not a sign of weakness, it is simply a process we have to go through to become mended. 

If you have sleepless nights, well I have them too. If you have nightmares, I am not afraid to say that I have them too. It does not mean I am not better, it just means that I miss what I have lost, sometimes unbearably so. We have those days, and we are not any lesser or weaker for having them. 

I have those days and nights, and I get through them. And I have them again. The process repeats itself. 

In between those days though, I see and memorize the laughter of those still living, I look at sunsets with interest, I look at the waves and seas with longing, I notice how the clouds can have funny shapes when Airiel points it out to me. I smile when and laugh when my friends and family makes silly jokes, I read incessantly. I drink too much coffee. I travel and see the miracles that make me feel so small. I am content. 

I honestly do not know what 'better' is and when I will get there. But this is okay. What I have right now is okay. And that is the truth. I do not know of a word to describe what stage I am at and that is okay too.

I hope this helps you.

May your daughter and both my angel children be blessed.

Akif, this one's for you.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

It's Israel Apartheid Week - What can we do as an Individual?

"Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to  be great. YOU can be that generation. Let your greatness blossom..." ~ Nelson Mandela

In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Beneficient

Hello readers.

It's Israel Apartheid Week. I am doing my bit for my angel Aisha. So I shall spread awareness on products that sources and helps Palestinian SME's.

First, I am going to take you to Canaan Fairtrade Palestine website.

The page provides information on what products are available directly sourced from Palestine and Palestinian farmers and SMEs.

It also provides information on what companies have been brave enough to partner with Palestinian SME's as source ingredients for their products.

Lastly, but also most importantly, it provides which shops carry products from Palestine SME's around the world.

Your next question would be of course, are there any companies in Malaysia brave enough to openly support and sell products from Palestine, right?

YES, there is. I list down these links for your benefit:-

1. Canaan Fairtrade Malaysia; and

2. Al-Masoud Trading FB page [if the link does not work, type Al Masoud Trading in FB search].

Remember friends, other things that you can do are:-

1. Support the products that are supporting the Palestinian SMEs;

2. Do not buy products that contribute to apartheid [Go to buycott where you can scan barcodes to see how the products you are choosing fare on the international human rights scene]; and

3. Focus on helping our own local homegrown products in Malaysia. With the signing of TPPA, our local SMEs need our help more than ever. New restrictions and/or requirements and the future influx of our already foreign flooded market shelves will make them almost impossible to survive in time.

A lot of people say that one person will never make a difference. This is simply NOT true. I was ONE person who chose to sponsor angel Aisha's education and life in Gaza, and I made a difference in HER life until she was killed.

Can you imagine if 100 people sponsored a child? 100 children's lives will be different. 

YOU can do this by making minor changes in eating and shopping and dressing habits .

Baby steps.

I have practised my BDS lifestyle since Aisha died in 2012. 

I have not looked back since.  

Join me. Join us. Join the movement.

2016 - Bring It!

"Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional..." ~ Haruki Murakami

Hello Readers.

My New Year's Resolution for 2016?

THIS.

Let's kick ass, my little Padawan. Mama is with you...always.

Be with us, angel Akif and Aisha. Mama misses you both...

Let's do this readers. We are NOT what has happened to us. Or what was done to us. We are MORE.

Believe it. Live it.

Credits : -  JayismailPhotography (find him on instagram)

Jealous ...

"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the shadow of a cloud..." ~ Yann Martel

Minute 1:39 - "The lyrics kind of say 'I'm jealous you're happy without me...' and I kind of see it in the sense that I'm jealous that he's now happy in heaven and that he's moved on to a better place and that I can't still be with him..."

Jealous

I'm jealous of the rain

That falls upon your skin

It's closer than my hands have been

I'm jealous of the rain

I'm jealous of the wind

That ripples through your clothes

It's closer than your shadow  

I'm jealous of the wind

Cause I wish you the best of all this world could give

I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive

But I'd always thought you'd come back and you'd tell me

All you found was heartbreak and misery

It's hard for me to say

I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

I'm jealous of the nights 

That I don't spend with you

I'm wondering who you lay next to

I'm the jealous of the night

I'm jealous of the love

Love that wasn't here

Gone for someone else to share

I'm jealous of the love

I wished you  the best of all this world could give

I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive

But I'd always thought you'd come back and you'd tell me

All you found was heartbreak and misery

It's hard for me to say

I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

As I sing in the sand

Watch you slip through my hands

As I die here another day

Cause all I do is cry behind the smile

I wished you  the best of all this world could give

And I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive

But I'd always thought you'd come back and you'd tell me

All you found was heartbreak and misery

It's hard for me to say

I'm jealous of the way you're happy without me

 Mama misses you very much kids...

Have a good week ahead everybody.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone.

See You Again

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now..?" ~ Douglas Adams

It's been a long day without you my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from we began

I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

Who knew

All the planes we flew

Good things we've been through

That I'd be standing right here talking to you

About another path

I know we love to hit the road and laugh

But something told me that it wouldn't last

Had to switch up

Look at things different

See the bigger picture

Those were the days

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place

How can we not talk about family

When family is all that we got

Everything I went through

You were standing there by my side

And now you're going to be with me for the last ride

First you both go out your way

And the vibe is feeling strong

And what's small turned to a friendship

A friendship turned into a bond

And that bond will never be broken 

And the love will never get lost

And when brotherhood come first

Then the line will never be crossed

Established it on our own

When that line had to be drawn

And that line is what we reached

So remember me when I'm gone

So let the light guide your way

Hold every memory as you go

And every road you take

Will always lead you home

Home

It's been a long day without you my friend

And I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

We've come a long way from we began

I'll tell you all about it when I see you again

Mama misses you angel Akif.

Umi misses you angel Aisha.

Putting one foot in front of the other now.

Some days are long. Too long.

One day if I ever see you again, I'll tell you all about it.

Boycott Israel 2015 - Part 1

"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart..." ~ Mahatma Gandhi

Hello readers,

It has been a while.

The world is an uproar. We all know the details. Sigh

I have been busy.

Anyways, I have found an awesome product to aid in your boycotting Israeli products effort. 

3 in 1 coffee hehehe. If you fancy coffee and malas nak pergi beli dekat coffee shop and nak a quick fix. I found Kopiko 3 in 1 Latte Mix.

I accidentally deleted my own pic so this is from google. What makes it awesome is the choco granules (top thingy you see in the pic above) which you sprinkle over the coffee and then slowly mix in. Absolutely yummy for a 3 in 1 mix.

And yes, it passes the Buycott test.

So there you go guys. A great alternative. Israel free. 

Download the 'Buycott' app on your android and iphone and lets get in on the BDS campaign. It works!

Have a good week ahead.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Boycott Israel 2014 - Part 4 - BDS Movement Malaysia - Alternative Product - Aktif Air Mineral

"Never believe that a few caring people can't change the world. For, indeed, they were all who ever have.."

~ Margaret Mead

Hi Readers,

An update on the BDS campaign in Malaysia.

Please follow BDS Movement Malaysia blog at http://bdsmovementmy.blogspot.com/

I hope everyone has downloaded the Buycott app. Please pm or email me for your queries or if you have any comments or questions.

I have been at this for 3 years + now and it has become a way of life and I find it is not a hindrance at all.

By the way, just to recommend this mineral water next time you are buying one.

Completely local.

Israel and Zionist free.

More updates later.

Some of my readers have been complaining I have not been updating on my shopping escapades. Okay, sorry guys.

I promise I will.

Just give me some time.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Of Hope - Boycott Israel 2014 - Part 3 - BuyCott App

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself" ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Hello Readers,

It is a Monday. Throughout the weekend, I have received vibers, texts, watsapps and emails from all of you. So many questions were asked of me but they all had the same underlying tone.

It was of frustration.

It was of feeling helpless.

It was of hopelessness.

One that resonated the most with me is the question "Why?". 

I had to stay silent, because honestly I do not know the answer. 

All I know is what I have experienced myself. And I have to admit that not a day goes by that I do not ask myself that question on all the events that have unfolded in my life. On all the events unfolding in the world.

But I know that since these events have unfolded in my life, I have changed. What is happening in Gaza and all other conflicted countries around the world is no longer a statistic to me. These are real people. With a name, a beating heart. Aisha's death changed me. It made me want do more than just condemn. It made me realise that one person can make a difference, because I, just one person did make a huge difference in hers before it was time for her to be with the Almighty. A place I may never see but I hope to. She is playing with my angel Akif. My kids are watching me up there.

I cannot simply exist. I must make a difference in any way I can and stand for what I deem just. This is not about the crowd. This is about ME. 

Without suffering I realised, there would have been no compassion. And after what and who I have lost, I realised I truly feel it. I truly feel compassion.

Maybe that is what this is all about. MAYBE. I don't know. But not knowing will not stop me now. I cannot stop, I cannot pause. It is a compulsion. It is an addiction. It is a CALLING.

Join me.

Guys, I have a new exciting app to share with you on the BDS campaign.

Its an exciting new app called BUYCOTT. The link to the information and cause behind the making of this app can be found here.

Step 1 - Download the app from the app store or your google play store. 

Step 2 - You can log in with facebook or email and then choose the causes that you are passionate about here. There are a few ongoing campaigns regarding all causes possible listed in accordance to category above.

Step 3 - The campaign I chose. 

You can see the list of trending campaigns on its home page.

Information about the campaigns are set out.

Step 4 - Scan a product 

Step 5 - Get a report whether the product contravenes the particular campaign/cause you are supporting before buying.

Let's do this readers.

We do not merely exist. 

We shall resist.

More updates on the campaign soon.

You know where to find me if you need me. I am on IG, FB, Dayre and Wechat. idzerqqy is what they call me. Keep the emails coming in.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone. 

United in Grief

"We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, too find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad" ~ John Green

Hello readers.

Too much has happened not only to Malaysia but to the world this year.

I shake as I type this but I have to. I must write so these events will forever be etched in my mind, recorded here for all of time. I need to always remember...

Malaysia

MH17, 17.07.2014. A Malaysian Airlines commercial plane on its way to Kuala Lumpur from Amsterdam crashed in Ukraine, near the Russian border.

298 passengers and cabin crew members lost their lives.

Infants were also on board.

The plane has allegedly been shot down by Ukraine separatists. Investigations have commenced into this incident.

Gaza

17.07.2014 - For the first time in history Israel announced it has launched ground operations against Gaza. 

The last time I checked, civilian casualties stand at 302, a majority of them children, women and the elderly.

As I type this, the Wafa orthopedic hospital in Gaza is under attack with patients still inside the hospital.

2 days ago, 4 boys playing football on a beach was systematically butchered by missiles targeted at them in full view of international reporters. Blown to pieces. Gone, dead. 

__________________________________________________________________

This world no longer makes sense to me.

Today, we stand as a nation in grief for the fate that befell MH17 and MH370 which has yet to be resolved.

Today, I see humanity on the brink where women, children, the elderly and hospitals can be targeted in military operations so blatantly, with impunity and with no call for responsibility on the perpetrators.

Today I see values in jeopardy when people around me not only turn a blind eye against injustices and tragedy, offers no solutions, and neither do they assist in whichever way that they can, no matter how small that may be. People that I see firsthand losing any sense of compassion, empathy and justice. People who believe that they are too insignificant to make a difference, and thus does not even try. People who do not live, but merely exist.

This heart breaks.

This heart bleeds.

Prayers to all who have lost their lives, be it in flight MH17, MH370, Gaza, Syria, Burma...this list is not exhaustive.

Prayers. May all of you be blessed. 

May all of those who are left behind be given the strength and courage to accept what they cannot change, to let go of what they have lost. This is my prayer, and I pray because in reality it is perhaps the one most difficult thing to do. 

Much love from Airiel and I.

Peace and love to everyone.

Operation Protective Edge - Terror has Begun

"To sin by silence, when they should protest, makes cowards of men" ~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Israel has officially commenced Operation Protective Edge on Gaza and the West Bank after attacking, pillaging homes of civillians and arresting 110 Palestinians, mostly children. 9 Palestinians have been killed before the commencement of this latest Operation. 

More lives will be lost upon the commencement of the Operation I am sure. 

The BBC reports the Palestinian as militants, terrorists. They say Israel is merely defending itself. It is amazing how such lies can persist. It is disgusting how they can utter such blatant untruths.

A representative of the Home Ministry of America has issued a statement supporting the Israeli military offence. 

The Arabs stay silent, busy driving their fancy cars, flaunting tigers as pets.

News of the Operation are not widely publicised  in the Malaysian media.

May all of you that stay silent in the face of cruelty and destruction of humanity be damned. Every single one of you.

And people continue to die. 

My heart bleeds for angel Aisha's homeland and the brethren within. An official statement issued by the Al-Qassam brigade reduced me to tears. The translation is below:-

"Permission [to fight] has been given to those who are being fought, because they were wronged. And indeed, Allah is competent to give them victory. Al Hajj - 39.

Blowing up the homes of innocent civillians is a course of action which cannot be tolerated. Should these 'political' actions not cease, we will respond by expanding the target area of our attack that the enemy will not foresee.

This is the enemy, the coward Zionists, that has declared a new war on the West Bank of Gaza that has until now persevered. They seem to not comprehend the language of the Al-Qassam brigade through its rockets that has demolished the Al-Qassam targets in Zionists areas, yesterday evening.

The Occupiers have begun this war by attacking the homes of innocent civilians that poses no threat in a sadistic, cruel and cowardly manner and using airstrikes on civilian homes.

Let it be known that the As Syahid Izzudin Al-Qassam Brigade, in responding the onslaught by the Zionists shall state as follows:-

1. We are not afraid of the annoucement of the military operations by Israel. We shall respond to any attack with equal force. We shall make the enemy regret making such a haste decision.

2. We warn the enemy that their actions in targeting the homes of civilians who are innocent has crossed all acceptable lines. If the enemy does not cease such political cowardly actions, we shall retaliate in expanding our area of attack, and we shall face this onslaught in a way the enemy shall never contemplate, and the leaders of the enemy are the ones that must be held responsible for this violence.

You have been warned.

Let it be known that for us, it is a struggle between two endings, either victory or a victorious death.

The Syahid Izzudin Al-Qassam Brigad

Tuesday, 10 Ramadhan 1435 H

8th July 2014"

Kalah sudah pasti,

Menang tidak tentu,

Tapi lawan tetap lawan.

May the Almighty be with all of you, beloved people of Gaza. May you be damned Israel. May you be damned.

Please follow updates and get informed on how to help from the links below:-

https://www.facebook.com/foapeaceinpalestine?fref=nf

https://www.facebook.com/saniarabykahery?fref=nf

https://www.facebook.com/palestinesolidarityuk?ref=stream

https://www.facebook.com/AmanPalestinOfficial?ref=stream&fref=nf

https://www.facebook.com/electronicintifada?fref=nf

Donate at:-

www.tabungsyria.com and www.tabunggaza.com

Terror has begun.

Let's tell Israel this time that we are WATCHING. And that there will be repercussions to their actions.

Let's do this.

Boycott Israel 2014 - Part 2

"Despair is typical of those who do not understand the causes of evil, see no way out, and are incapable of struggle" ~ Vladimir Lenin

My dearest angel Aisha,

My heart bleeds for you and for the land you call home. Sacred to many it is. So much so, it has caused endless bloodshed. So much so, it cost you yours. When you died, a portion of my heart was taken away, broken by grief, never to be the same again.

You taught me that I can love a child, not of my flesh and blood as much as I would love my own. You taught me never to be afraid of death, because you said it was inevitable and because there is a life beyond it. You taught me to love, cherish and appreciate my country and home because you and your brethren in Palestine would give up everything to have what people in Malaysia take for granted, and that is 'peace'.

It was a sleepless night for me yesterday because I knew that it was rumoured that 3 Israeli soldiers have gone missing. They blame the Palestinians. 

The Israelis have vowed to kill a Palestinian every hour until these 3 are found. 

4 hours ago, the attacks have not ceased. I bite my nails and wait for news on the websites I follow. Electronic Intifada, Aman Palestin, Palestine Solidarity Campaign. 

My boycott remains strong Aisha. It has become my way of life. I check labels, read updates on the boycott in the BDS Campaign. 

Your blood runs in my veins, you are my family, the ties I have made and vowed to keep and I will not rest until your land is free. 

I remember asking you 'what do you want most from Ummi for your birthday?' to which you replied 'Your doa Ummi. Your doa. It is the most powerful weapon wielded by people here. I am not afraid to die. No one here is. I embrace it. It is a dream to me. What awaits me on the other side is 1000 thousand times better than whatever I have here. But I am not dead yet. So I shall live Ummi. Pray for my life, my land and pray for a glorious death for me if I should die'.

My family, my friends meet me and say 'Idza you are strong' after what I have been through. But you Aisha, you were courage personified. I was in awe. I felt ashamed. But most of all, I felt immense and overwhelming love towards you and the land you were willing to die for.

Readers, please join us. Here is where you can help:-

 www.palestinecampaign.org/join 

https://www.facebook.com/AmanPalestinOfficial?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/electronicintifada?fref=ts

https://www.facebook.com/harryfear?fref=ts

http://www.inminds.com/

http://www.bdsmovement.net/

Aisha, I will  never forget.

Palestine will be free. On my blood and yours.

A Mother I am...

"Sometimes when you pick up your child you can feel the map of your own bones beneath your hands, or smell the scent of your skin in the nape of his neck. This is the most extraordinary thing about motherhood - finding a piece of yourself separate and apart that all the same you could not live without" - Jodi Picoult

Mama misses you Airiel, angel Akif, angel Aisha...Mama loves you more than Mama can describe...

Happy Mothers Day to all mothers out there...

May we be blessed...

Boycott Israel 2014 - Part 1

"There is sacredness in tears... They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition and of unspeakable love..." ~ Washington Irving

Hello readers,

It is Friday already. Work is crazy and being a single mom has its challenges. Am trying to juggle work and finishing everything on time to go home early (tak boleh dok lama kat opis, rindu weihhh kat anak), juggling Airiel's homework and art projects, taking care and maintaining caynie and doing pretty much everything on my own. Alhamdulillah, everything is going smoothly so far. 

Anyways, my last update on my boycott of Israeli products was sometime ago. When I went for my Gaza run in 2013. Silent I may be, but I have not forgotten about it. The boycott is still going strong. My house is now almost 100% Israel product free. I have told you guys that the best option in continuing the boycott is to usually choose local products and avoid the brands on the inminds list.

I have found a new brand of coffee.

Totally local. Pemanis Sdn Bhd. So I hope this is absolutely 100% Israel free. It goes in my coffee list hehe.

You guys must understand the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanction) campaign is perhaps the one most powerful tool in the hands of the public in showing our stand on the apartheid happening in Palestine and is one campaign the Israeli government is truly afraid of.

Some news I must share with you guys:-

1. BBC recently awarded a contract (after much opposition for Palestine Support Groups) to a G4S rival (G4S is directly involved in human rights abuses in Israeli prisons);

2. Tony Benn, a legendary UK MP that has been an outspoken supporter of the BDS campaign  and the PSC passed away peacefully mid March. May he be blessed for all his efforts in supporting the Palestine cause;

3. The Royal Institute of British Architects recently approved a motion calling for the suspension of the Israeli Professional Body from the International Architects Union;

4. Authorities in Buenos Aires, Argentina in March, suspended their deal with an Israeli water company, what a BDS victory; and

5. Sani Araby and his comrades (from Malaysia) were just recently refused entry to Gaza. They were carrying a convoy of much needed food, clothing and medicine for Gaza. Sani is on FB and his updates can be followed.

These are only some updates on the BDS campaign.

For a complete list of products to boycott, go to inminds.

For updates on the BDS campaign go to PSC.

Kalah sudah tentu, tapi lawan tetap lawan. To the death.

This is for you, angel Aisha. Hope you are playing up there in heaven with little Akif.

Here's to the weekend.

Much love from me and Airiel.

Peace and love to everyone.

Run for Gaza - Boycott Israel Updates 2013

"I'm not sure what we're running from. Nobody. Or the future. Fate. Growing up

Getting Old. Picking up the pieces. As if running we won't have to get on with our lives" 

~ Chuck Palahniuk 

Hi readers,

My next run is for a cause that is very close to my heart. Palestine.

I am participating in a 10km run for Gaza.

Almost all proceeds from this run will donated to Gaza. If you are not a runner and do not intend to run, you can just register and donate the proceeds to Gaza.

You do not even have to run, you can just walk and spend some time with your family.

There is also a 3km and 5km fun family run.

You can go to the hooha website and register. Links below:-


Hooha run for gaza link :- http://home.hooha.asia/gazarun-2013.aspx

Untukmu Gaza facebook page :- https://www.facebook.com/UntukmuGaza?fref=ts


Aisha, Ummi is doing this one for you.

Thanks for the outpouring of support via emails and pm to me. From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

God bless.

Boycott Israel - Petitions to Sign

"Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events. It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a different million centers of energy and daring those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance" - Robert F. Kennedy

Hello readers.

The BDS movement not only boycott Israeli products, it also aims at a complete boycott on Israel culture.

Rihanna is scheduled to perform in Israel and BDS has started a petition on causes to pressure her to back out.

Other artistes have backed out on performing in Israel before due to these petition so it is extremely effective.

I need you to sign it.

Please go here.

There is also a call to boycott the Red Sea Jazz Festival which is going to be held in Israel soon. Please go here to see the boycott movement. This boycott was started from within i.e. from Israelis who are against the apartheid regime.

It is free and you do not need to pay anything. It will just take a few seconds of your time.

Thank you for your help.

Boycott Israel - Progress Updates [Ahava]

"I demolish my bridges behind me...then there is no choice but to move forward.." ~ Fridtjof Nansen

Hello Readers,

Time have passed since Aisha died during the last attack.

I still miss her dearly. And my boycott remains strong.

I need your help.

Some friends have started a campaign to get Nordstrom to get Ahava products off their shelves. Ahava products are made from  minerals off the dead sea, in the illegally occupied territories of Palestine.

They need 5000 signatures.

Please help, you have no idea how effective these BDS online petitions are.

Please go to this link http://links.causes.com/s/clLqq7?r=pYvV.

Please share this post, and create awareness on its existence.

Please sign this petition, you may end up saving a life.

Thank you for your time.

Boycott Israel - Progress Update [Instant Noodles]

Hello Everyone,

I have just managed to finish an opinion. Documents were only given yesterday and I had to hand it over before lunch.

Managed to get it done alhamdulillah.

Anyways, back to my progress update. I have permanently changed the instant noodles the household used to buy. You know that the biggest food producer in the world is substantially owned by Israel right and are integral in funding the IDF. So instead I have changed my instant noodles to a local company.

And I love the flavour. The Mamee company is a local company formed in 1976. The company website is here.

Remember readers. The trick is in boycotting Israeli products and making it easy for yourself is to go local or go Asian. Buy local products or Asian based products. So many alternatives out there in the market.

Best of luck!

Have a good weekend ahead.

Never Forget [Boycott Israel - Progress Update]

My boycott have gone on strong still alhamdulillah.

Please readers, Israel is counting on us forgetting the cause, forgetting the fight, forgetting those who struggle.

So don't forget.

This is not just a religious crusade, in fact it is far from that. Do you guys know that 1 out of 4 Palestinians are not even muslims? And yet they are massacred just the same. Because they are Palestinians. This is APARTHEID people. Plain and simple.

They (you  know who) think they are a superior race, more than that of any race on this earth.

Remember what Nelson Mandela (my idol) said about the Palestinian crisis:-

Never forget readers. Never forget that evil is real. It is out there. It kills women and children. It slaughters the innocent. It imprisons without cause, it sentences without due process.

It is real.

NEVER FORGET.

And so Aisha, Ummi will always remember. Always....

Boycotting Israeli Products [Progress Update 3]

Hi readers,

Just wanted to share with you the milestones reached by the BDS (Boycott, Divestments and Sanctions) movement for 2012. They are gaining momentum hand over fist!

January:

• Noted French philosopher and political theorist Jacques Rancière canceled a visit to lecture at Tel Aviv University after an appeal by PACBI, the Palestinian Campaign for the Academic and Cultural Boycott of Israel.
• Leading LGBT activists, artists and cultural workers demanded queer individuals and allies oppose pinkwashing and support BDS.

February:

• US singer/songwriter Cat Power canceled her performance in Israel.
• In Canada, the University of Regina’s student body adopted a BDS motion “as a means of pressuring Israel to comply with international and human rights law.”
• US jazz vocalist Cassandra Wilson canceled her performance in Holon. She announced, “as a human rights activist, I identify with the cultural boycott of Israel.”
• Israeli cosmetics company Ahava — which pillages resources from the Dead Sea in the occupied West Bank, and produces the cosmetics in an illegal settlement colony while labeling them as “made in Israel” — was de-shelved across Japan. DaitoCrea, the Japanese distributor for Ahava’s cosmetics line, announced that they would immediately stop carrying Ahava products because of that company’s fraudulent labeling policy.
• A judge threw out a lawsuit by Israel lobby group against Olympia Food Co-op in Washington, US, protecting the co-op’s decision not to carry Israeli products and uphold the boycott.

March:

• Graduate students at Carleton University in Ottawa, Canada, overwhelmingly passed a resolution in support of divestment from companies profiting from Israeli occupation and human rights abuses.
• Glasgow University dropped Israeli-owned Eden Springs water from its cafeterias.
• Global water justice organization Blue Planet officially endorsed BDS, condemned Israel’s water discrimination and inaccessibility policies against Palestinians.
• Attempts by the Israeli government to promote Israel as a “queer-friendly” haven by building ties to LGBT communities in the US and elsewhere (a practice known as “pinkwashing”) failed in Seattle, Tacoma and Olympia, Washington.
• Ahava products were dropped by a major retail chain in Norway.
• M.E.Ch.A., the largest association of Latin@ youth in the US, voted overwhelmingly to endorse the Palestinian call for BDS (Latin@ is a gender neutral term for Latino and Latina.) The announcement came on 30 March, which is both Palestinian Land Day — commemorating Israel’s murder, injury and mass arrest of Palestinians protesting land confiscation in 1976 — and César Chávez Day, commemorating the Chicano civil rights leader who led boycotts and strikes for the rights of farmworkers.

April:

• The undergraduate student government at the University of Massachusetts in Boston passed a resolution to divest from Boeing, a US corporation that profits from the Israeli military’s human rights violations.
• The second Mediterranean Delight International Belly Dance Festival, which was to be held in Marrakech, was canceled due to apparent intervention by Moroccan authorities, who were pressured by Palestine solidarity groups across Morocco’s religious and cultural spectrum. Additionally, the Belly Dance Festival was partly sponsored by the Israeli business Sea of Spa, which has ties to Ahava.
• Egypt’s Football Association boycotted Adidas due to company’s sponsorship of the Jerusalem marathon.
• UK supermarket chain The Co-op decided to expand its boycott of goods produced in Israeli settlements on occupied Palestinian land into a complete boycott of Israeli companies that source any goods in settlements.
• Irish band Dervish canceled a series of gigs in Israel, stating that they did not wish to break the boycott.

May:

• Columbia professor Katherine Franke joined the academic boycott of Israel and announced that she would not speak at the Equality Forum because Israel was selected as the conference’s “featured nation,” and because Israeli ambassadorMichael Oren was picked to be the keynote speaker.
• Both governments of South Africa and Denmark ruled that imported products originating from illegal Israeli settlements in the occupied West Bank would be labeled as such.
• The international Quaker Friends Fiduciary Corporation announced that it would divest $900,000 worth of shares from Caterpillar, the corporation which sells bulldozers to the Israeli military that are used to demolish Palestinian homes, land and property. Caterpillar bulldozers have also killed Palestinians and internationals such as US activist Rachel Corrie in 2003, who attempted to defend a Palestinian family’s home in Rafah, Gaza, from imminent demolition.
• Multinational urban systems contractor Veolia, which is involved with the Jerusalem Light Rail project that intends to connect West Jerusalem with West Bank settlements, was rejected from contracts by the regional council of Haaglanden.
• Migros, a Swiss supermarket chain, announced that it would start labeling Israeli settlement products as originating in illegal settlements, not “made in Israel” as such products are labeled.

June:

• Arizona State University’s student government unanimously passed a bill demanding the university divest from companies profiting from Israel’s human rights abuses.
• The Flaming Eggplant Cafe, a student-run collective at The Evergreen State College in Olympia, Washington, voted to boycott Israeli goods.
• Norway’s finance ministry excluded Israel’s largest real estate firm, Shikun & Binui, from the Government Pension Fund Global (the largest pension fund in Europe),over its construction of illegal Israeli colonies in East Jerusalem.
• Indian tabla maestro Zakir Hussein canceled performance in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem following pressure by international boycott activists.
• US pension fund giant TIAA-CREF divested $72 million from Caterpillar.

July:

• The Presbyterian Church USA resolved to boycott Israeli settlement products, even though its proposed comprehensive divestment resolution failed by only 2 votes.

August:

• The British firm Good Energy announced that it would end its business relationship with G4S, the private security giant with a track record of complicity in Israel’s human rights abuses.
• South African officials discouraged citizens from traveling to Israel because of the Israeli government’s mistreatment of Palestinians, and a group of South African mayors canceled a planned visit to Israel.
• Members of the United Church of Canada affirmed a resolution to boycott Israeli settlement products.
• The Student Representative Council at the University of the Witwatersrand (Wits) in South Africa unanimously adopted a full academic and cultural boycott of Israel.

September:

• Internationally acclaimed Lebanese group Mashrou’ Leila announced that they would not be opening up for the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ performance in Beirut, due to the Peppers’ decision to cross the picket line and perform in Tel Aviv despite amplified calls worldwide to cancel their show.
• Earlham College, a small Quaker liberal arts college in the US Midwest, announced that the campus dining services were going to stop selling Sabra brand hummusafter students raised concerns about the company’s connection to the Israeli occupation.
• Norway ended tax deductions for organizations that donate funds to benefit Israeli settlements on occupied Palestinian land.
• The Quaker Friends Fiduciary Corporation (FFC), which handles investments for more than 300 Quaker meetings, schools, organizations, trusts, and endowments around the US, announced that it divested $390,000 from Hewlett-Packard and Veolia Environment.
• After sustained media attention and pressure from BDS activists, several Danish charities and a bank decided to end security service contracts with the British-Danish security company G4S for the company’s role in Israel’s occupation.
• Palestinian football star and hunger striker Mahmoud Sarsak declined an invitation by football club FC Barcelona to a match because of their invite of an Israeli soldier to the same match.

October:

• Mosireen, an Egyptian media collective, rejected an invitation to participate in the Creative Time Summit 2012 in New York because of the summit’s “in-depth” partnership with an institution funded by the Israeli government.
• Citing their strong solidarity with Palestinians and a refusal to let Israel co-opt cultural expression, hip hop duo Rebel Diaz also canceled their scheduled performance at the Creative Time Summit 2012.
• Iraqi MC The Narcicyst (Yassin Alsalman) also pulled out of the Creative Time Summit in Dubai, adding: “My decision is based only my support of Palestine and its people, our people, my people. As an Iraqi, I wish people took the same stand for all injustices.”
• Palestinian MC Boikutt pulled out of the Salam.Orient cultural festival in Austria, because it was sponsored by the Israeli embassy.
• Three more Arab performers canceled their performances at the Salam.Orient festival for the same reason.
• Thanking The Electronic Intifada for our articles exposing the Salam.Orient festival’s ties to Israel, Sabah Alnasseri, a professor of political science at York University in Toronto, also canceled his scheduled lecture at the festival.
• The Utrecht Regional Council in the Netherlands announced that it had awarded an urban transportation contract to Qbuzz, a Dutch company, instead of a Veolia-owned company, following sustained pressure by boycott activists.

November:

• Veolia failed to secure a $63.5 million contract following BDS campaigners’ pressure on the Canterbury City Council in Britain.
• The Technical University of Denmark dropped out of a collaboration project with a university located in the illegal Ariel settlement inside the occupied West Bank.
• The Associated Students at the University of California at Irvine voted unanimously to call for divestment from companies that profit from the Israeli occupation.
• Stevie Wonder canceled a performance in Los Angeles to benefit the Israeli army.

December:

• Public Services International, one of the world’s largest cross-border trade union groups, declared its support for the campaign to boycott Israeli goods and institutions.
• In Toronto, Canada, the York University Graduate Students’ Association voted in favor of a resolution to support BDS, and urged the university to divest from companies which profit from Israel’s “human rights violations, war crimes and oppression.”
• The University of Oslo in Norway announced it would drop its contract with private security company G4S in July 2013 over the company’s involvement with Israeli prisons and its providing of services and equipment to checkpoints, Israel’s wall in the West Bank, settlement and settlement businesses.
• Two Israeli arms companies were forced to pull out of major international aerospace industry convention in Toulouse, southern France, following a campaign led by BDS Sud-Ouest.
• University of Toronto’s Graduate Student Union passed a resolution in favor of the call for boycott, divestment and sanctions to be adopted by the university administration.
• For the first time ever, the African National Congress (ANC), the ruling party in South Africa, made the Palestinian call for boycott, divestment and sanctions on Israel part of its official policy.
• Amid stiffening opposition, Israel occupation profiteer Veolia withdrew its bid for a major contract in London in the final stages of the process.

This is taken from here.

Join the movement and create a difference!