Inspired

"I write to give myself strength, I write to be the characters that I am not. 

I write to explore all the things I am afraid of" ~ Joss Whedon 

Airiel's Atuk is a source of inspiration for me.

He is a champion for charity work, helping others who are less fortunate tirelessly, selflessly and without expecting anything in return. Yes, you share my sentiment, people like him cannot survive in politics. Because politics are never selfless, in fact it is the exact opposite. Anyway, that is not the object of my post. Let it be for another post.

He is someone I aspire to be, but deep down I know, someone that I can never become. I am not wired that way.

He says 'Focus on the pain of others, then you will think less of your own pain'. He is correct.

A recent episode hits too close to home. When I saw a soon to be single father fighting for his daughter.

A face so gaunt, he must not have had any good (or at all) sleep for the past couple of months. No focus at work, no appetite to eat. He was all but skin and bones. His features was set up in a permanent frown. He would stare into space, only laughing or smiling when his daughter amused him with her antics. It is apparent she is his only source of happiness, of peace, of strength.

I also saw... madness. But in that madness there was focus, in that madness there was determination, and the only thing he could think about and the only thing he could say to me or Atuk is 'I cannot lose my daughter, I cannot lose her..'. He told us he was prepared to run, sehelai sepinggang anywhere, everywhere as long his daughter was with him. Start over, where they can live without fear. Nothing else mattered, not his job, not what he owned, not what he wanted in life, his dreams, his money, his property. He doesn't care about that anymore. In that moment I knew that the madness would consume him if his daughter was for whatever reason, taken away from him.

I look at the evidence of what this girl's mother and her family did to the father and to her daughter and all I could think about was 'how is it possible?'. 'How could a mother not love her child?' because I cannot imagine not loving Airiel or angel Akif. Because the love I feel inside for them is all consuming for me.  My love for them is not something I can control. It is beyond my understanding, an instinct way beyond logic and comprehension. Because they are a part of who I am. Because our souls are one and the same. I truly realise that I can live without anything, without everything I have, without what I own. But without Airiel, I will cease to exist. Without Airiel, I will go mad. Without Airiel, I would never be able to survive. Without my weekly Tuesday visits to Akif, I would be consumed by grief. A grief I know I can never recover from. They are my heart and I am their armour.

You must understand that in my strength, I am as fragile as a mother could be. I am capable of anything. I will destroy anything or anyone that hurts Airiel. And that is a promise. I am capable of it. I know that now. He is a source of strength for me, and yet he is my weakness. Mess with my son, and there will be hell to pay.  And believe me when I say I will not stop until you have paid it in full. 

I also saw and finally understood for the first time how much a father can love his child. What he would not do for her. What he is willing to do. Someone who had nothing to lose. It was an excruciatingly beautiful sight to behold.

It was hard to describe what I felt and still feel. I was afraid. I was floored. I was in awe. I felt grief. I felt helpless. I was touched down to the depths of my soul, I was...inspired.

What is my grief compared to the suffering of others? 

Atuk truly knows the value of the words he utters.

Pray for this father readers. He needs it. 

Have a good week ahead.

Peace and love to everyone.

Pray for MH370

"Trust I seek and I find in you

 Everyday for us something new

Open mind for a different view

And nothing else matters..." ~ Metallica 

If you miss someone, tell them.

If you love someone, tell them.

If you are sorry, say it.

If you forgive someone, tell them you do.

Have courage.

Be strong.

Choose love.

Choose hope.

Choose faith.

You may never get another chance...

96:4

 Verily with hardship...

There will be ease...

Muslims and Our Relationship with Dogs

"Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart  whose soil have never been loosened or fertilised by education; they grow there, firm as weeds among stones" ~ Charlotte Bronte

Hello Readers,

I must write this post because I am just annoyed as hell by my brethren muslims here in Malaysia. I see them being cruel to dogs, I see them poking fun at this man who was in a recent article applauded for his acts in keeping and saving stray dogs, belittling him and calling him less of a muslim for doing what he did.

Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of dogs myself, simply because most of them are huge (bigger than I am I might add, but this is just my theory because I do not want to be admitting to certain discriminatory evidence of my real height..but I digress) and I have a horrifying memory of being chased by wild dogs in Sungai Siput when I was a child riding a bike. I remember being so terrified that I left the bike and ran for my life, and eventually climbed up a tree. Errkk.. I love cute ones (small toy dogs they call) and I also love puppies!!

Anyways, back to this issue. For starters, you must understand that different mazhabs of the Islamic faith have different views on which parts of the dog is haram, and this is important because it eventually shapes how our relationships with the dogs are then forged and maintained.

(i) Mazhab Maliki  : This mazhab says that dogs are cool and not najis , which means...wait for it.. NO part of the dog is haram...which means that you can touch dogs, you can let the dogs lick you, and kiss you ...and roll around in the mud with dogs...whatever lah ok;

(ii) Mazhab Syafie (which is Malaysia's chosen mazhab FYI) : Our mazhab is definitely one of the most strict in EVERYTHING and our mazhab says that all of the dog is najis (fur and saliva and all) and is therefore haram for us to touch;

(iii) Mazhab Abu Hanifah : This mazhab is a bit more tolerant and is of the view that only the saliva of the dog is najis but the fur isn't. Get it? That means, you can still touch a wet dog and stuff, but licking and kissing the dog is off limits.

The fatwa of the majmuk has come to the conclusion that the 3rd view is the most correct, because you know why? Because technically and truly,  in the Islam religion, you can't be simply saying that this is haram or that is haram unless there is a dalil that says so. Disagree with me? Why don't you look up Surah Al-An'am, verse 11 and read and try to understand the words.

Now, what does that have to show for declaring the shisha haram I wonder?...  but lets not go there, that is for another post maybe.

Back to the dog issue.

We Malaysians unfortunately, have a habit of being obsessed with our country's chosen mazhab. Now this obsession and blind following of a particular mazhab over another is a subject of heated debate in the ulama' world but somehow or rather, Malaysia has not caught up with that being an issue, or either than that, its just not that widely circulated in the media. Generally, an obsession with particular mazhab is frowned upon. You want to know why? because Islam is supposed to be easy. When a particular precept in a mazhab makes your life difficult, muslims are asked that it find a precept in a mazhab which makes their life easier you know what I mean?

A great example of this is on the issue of whether pregnant ladies who do not fast, are supposed to bayar fidyah sahaja, or bayar fidyah and ganti puasa as well. Our mazhab says, you have to do both. But another mazhab says, no need, just pay your fidyah as you are carrying a miracle, a child! and it is a most stressful experience. So the fatwa of the majmuk says, in conflicting precepts of a particular mazhab, just choose the easiest one for you to follow. Because it is a view of a muslim scholar, and it is not something which  the Al-Quran has specifically mentioned. It is Qiyas..so use your own mind and judgment.

Now, back to the dog issue. I have explained the status of the dogs kan? What about keeping them as pets? This, you must understand is a separate issue to that of touching them.

Understand that there is no verses in the Al-Quran disallowing the keeping of dogs as pets at all. It is silent on the issue. However, there are some hadith (which are essentially the words of the prophet FYI) that would indicate that the main rule is that keeping dogs as pets are frowned upon, but there are exceptions and they are as follows:-

(i) Keeping them as pets to watch over herds of animals;

(ii) Keeping them as pets to watch over your crops; and

(iii) Keeping them as pets for hunting.

Imam Nawawi also has the view that muslims are allowed to keep dogs as pets to stand guard over their houses for safety reasons.

So, what does that tell you readers?

In so far as the uncle who takes in stray dogs and helps them, let me just share with you a story. This is a story which is documented even before prophet Muhammad s.a.w time. Rumour is it happened masa zaman nabi Isa a.s.

Anyways, the woman belonged to the oldest profession in the world (if you know what I mean). For lack of a better word, she was a prostitute. She was thirsty and was on the verge of collapsing when she found a water source. She had managed to take some water for herself, being so weak when she felt a tug from the back of clothes, to find a dog that was thirsty and was asking for the water she was holding. She felt sorry for the dog and gave the water to the dog but in doing so, she had lost all the energy she had left to get some more water for herself and she died. It was said in the story that Allah forgave her for all her sins and she went to heaven because of her act of kindness to the dog.

So shame on the haters and people who judge others without understanding the true precepts of our faith. All good deeds are rewarded, regardless of who it benefits.

Open your mind people, and understand your own faith before going on a blind charade of judgment. You are embarrassing the rest of us.

P.S - The views contained in this article are my personal views and does not allege to represent those of other Muslims of the Islamic Community as a whole. Please read with caution.  

Love for the One and Only

Rapuh

Detik waktu terus berjalan

Berhias gelap dan terang

Suka dan duka tangis dan tawa

Tergores bagai lukisan

Seribu mimpi

Sejuta sepi 

Hadir bagai teman sejati

Di antara lelahnya jiwa

Dalam resah dan airmata

Kupersembahkan kepadaMU 

Yang terindah dalam hidupku

Meski ku rapuh dalam langkah

Kadang tak setia kepadaMU

Namun cinta dalam jiwa hanyalah padaMU

Maafkanlah bila hati tak sempurna mencintaiMU

Dalam dada ku harap hanya diriMU yang bertakhta

Maafkanlah bila hati tak sempurna mencintaiMU

Dalam dada ku harap hanya diriMU yang bertakhta

Meski ku rapuh dalam langkah

Kadang tak setia kepadaMU

Namun cinta dalam jiwa hanyalah padaMU

Maafkanlah bila hati tak sempurna mencintaiMU

Dalam dada ku harap hanya diriMU yang bertakhta

Detik waktu terus berlalu 

Semua berakhir padaMU

Ya Allah, please forgive me...

I wish I could love You the way You have loved me..

I will try everyday..

Online Shopping - Telekung

Hey readers,

Just bought this beautiful telekung.

This is from the online shop Kain Sulam and Jubah.

Isn't it beautiful?

I spend a lot on bags and clothes and stuff, so why not splurge a little for such an important piece of attire untuk jumpa Tuhan 5 kali sehari? Betul tak?

I plan to put a telekung in all the cars so kalau tgh travel ke apa senang nak singgah masjid or something like that untuk sembahyang.

Ok, work awaits.

Bye!!!

Luahan Cinta Seorang Hamba

Dear Allah, my heart belongs to You...always have and always will ...i know You will not break it, i know You will always show me the truth, i know You will not betray me, i know You don't break Your promises, i know You were always there for me...forgive me if i have forsaken Your love for a love which was deluded and mortal...i am willing to let everything go, so long as i can hold on to You...I love You

Dreams..

Yesterday I couldn't sleep.

Solat hajat, baca quran, solat isthikhrah, solat tahajjud and then I drifted in and out of a fitful sleep...last time I checked my watch it was 5 in the morning.

I had a dream...

I saw my grandfather...and he was with a bunch of children in a garden playing...or was it? I don't know, it was not like any garden I have ever seen before. It was like all different beautiful environments, all piled up and melded into one, you know what I mean? The river that was flowing was white...like, WHITE white.

My grandfather was really handsome and wrinkle free. Dashing he is, no wonder my grandmother was smitten. I saw Azalia, my cousin...only, she didn't look like she did when she was here, but I knew it was her, she waved and went back playing...I saw some other kids playing around my grandfather which I knew was somehow related to me, but I could not recognise them or who they were.

He looked at me and he smiled, my grandfather. I remember feeling distraught and wanting to talk to him about something... but he only said this and I remember it clearly:-

"Ya Allah, dia adalah hambaMu, anak dari hambaMu, anak dari seorang hambaMU yang lelaki dan anak dari seorang hambaMu yang perempuam. Ubun-ubunnya berada di tanganmu, hukumMu berlaku ke atasnya, keputusanMu adil untuknya

Aku memohon kepadaMu dengan seluruh namaMu yang Engkau beri nama atas diriMu, atau nama yang Engkau turunkan dalam kitabMu, atau Engkau ajarkan kepada salah seorang daripada hambaMu, atau hanya Engkau yang tahu dalam ilmu-ghaibMu, kiranya jadikanlah Al-Quran yang agung sebagai hujam musim semi bagi hatinya, cahaya dadanya pelipur kesedihannya dan penghilang kesedihannya"

And then he smiled at me...and then I woke up.

And I immediately wrote this down.

Terima kasih Tok, kerana mendoakan cucumu ini. 

Women in Islam - Did You Know?

Hello everyone,

Have you heard about Malala Yousufzai and how she was shot by the Taliban because she was campaigning for women's education over on that side of the world? Nak pergi sekolah pun jadi isu ke org org puak Taliban ni?

Does it not infuriate you that in some places in this world, society uses religion, and Islam in particular to justify their own tribal/racial/cultural practices which oppresses women? And does it infuriate you even more to know that people have associated these practices to be one and the same/synonymous with Islam?

Do you want to know the true position and regard that Islam and our prophet s.a.w had for women? Lets go through the list of 'DO YOU KNOW?' for the day shall we?:-

1. You thought that the 1st movement for women was started by English ladies via the suffragettes? Did you know that the 1st women's group was started by a woman called Asma' Yazid Ansariyah during the prophet's time, thousands of years before the suffragettes existed? She was appointed to speak for the rights of women in Madinah during the prophet's rule and would often give her opinion in matters concerning and affecting women which the prophet would consider and listen to. In fact, the prophet was so conscious of women and their rights that he would allocate certain days out of the month just listening to issues plaguing and surrounding women.

2. You think Florence Nightingale was the first women who formed a nursing school and went around at night comforting men of war? Do you know that the first hospital and nursing school was actually formed by a woman named Rufaydah Al-Aslamiyah during the prophet's rule, thousand of years before the western world came out with such an idea? She was a medical doctor, a nurse and a renowned social worker, she taught other women of her time medical procedures and how to tend to men during the wars fought and defended by the prophet. The prophet in his recognition of her services actually set aside a portion of the proceeds of a particular war, perang khaibar if i'm not mistaken for the hospital and nursing school she had built?

3. You think it was the Western world who first afforded rights to women to join the military and fight in wars? Then you must have not heard of the 'Black Rider' have you? She was a female warrior who joined the men in wars for Islam. Her name was Khaulah Azur. Have you not heard of Nusaibah Kaab and how she fought alongside (not behind, beside ok?) the prophet, braver and fiercer than any man and protected him from injury until she was injured in 12 places herself, much to the alarm of the prophet who asked Nusaibah's son to come to her aid, which she of course just dismissed? Have you heard of Ummu Haram Milhan? She joined the Islamic navy force thousands of years before the Western world even half recognised the rights of women to fight!

4. Did you know the prophet had a personal assistant that was female? Her name was Laila Ghafariyah? She also joined him in wars and was a stand in nurse for the injured.

5. You know Imam Al-Bukhari, the famous perawi hadith sahih which hadith is often showcased on TV during prayer times tu . Well, did you know that his most famous and prolific teacher was a woman? Her name was Fatima Ibrahim Ibni Jowhar. She was the most famous teacher of hadith of her time and even had a teaching slot in Masjid Nabawi. People came from far and wide to hear her. Men, women and children, caliphs from all parts of the muslim world came to learn from her. Apa ada hal?

6. Who said Islam disallows having females learned in law? You obviously have not heard of Amrah Abdul Rahman, a renowned expert in law during her time and was even considered to be equal to the position of mufti's back in the day, so revered she was. Judges in islamic law back in the day consulted her and even retracted their sentences upon hearing her opinion as compiled case laws were not yet undertaken at the time. She had it all in her mind, this woman! MasyaAllah!

7. You think women these days have gone leaps and bounds in getting equality konon kan? Did you know that educated women back in the glory days of Islam even scolded caliphs when they did something wrong? Which would be our equivalent to the President these days? You obviously have not heard of Ummu Darda kan? She was a renowed teacher, hadith extraordinaire and was an ulama'.  She taught at Baitul Maqdis and another place (which is escaping my mind at the moment. Serius tak ingat). Anyways, she was the teacher to Khalifah Abdul Malik Al-Marwan. So beloved and respected was she by the khalifah that he would ensure that he personally came to take her home after her teaching sessions when she was too old to go home herself. And yes, she once scolded him for scolding a palace official because the servant was late in coming to him when he called.

8. Lets not even go in detail about Aisyah r.a. and how knowledgeable she was in fiqh, hadith and law. Did you know that after the prophet's death, she became the reference point and taught men, women and children alike about the Quran, fiqh, hadith and law as contained in the Quran?

So, what the hell are these Ta*iban peopl are doing, restricting a woman's right to an education man! The prophet encouraged, admired and advocated for the education of women! How can these people call themselves fighters of Islam? It is clear that they are just influenced by their tribal practices in oppressing women as opposed to really understanding what Islam advocates.

Remember my female readers, during the prophet's time and during the glory days of Islam, we women were MORE than equals, we were SPECIAL. We were educated, we were pioneers, we were movers and shakers and were never defined and/or restricted by our gender. We women were liberated long before the Western world ever grasped or understood the concept.

Do not let anybody tell you otherwise. When a chauvinistic man tells me what they think they know about the position of women in Islam is, I just grin...because you know what? I know BETTER.

You're a very brave girl Malala, may Allah s.w.t lead the way for your fight. And show these people what true Islam really is all about.

Have a good rest of the week everybody.

When You're Having a Bad Day...

When your body aches and you have not slept soundly in weeks, when you have vomited the entire contents of your stomach and swore to yourself that you will never eat again, when you tell yourself that this is going to be the last time you're going to stop on the emergency lane in the highway while you're stuck in a jam after work so you can throw up ...

Remember that everything is borrowed... and that everything is a gift.

Terima kasih Tuhan.

Have a good week ahead readers.

Islam itu Indah...who are YOU to say otherwise?

Facebook is starting to infuriate me.

Ok, part of it has to do with being timelined but more than that I find that some people in my circle have become more and more annoying over the years. More recently being org-org yang suka buat statement memperlekehkan ilmu agama and ulama' which I find completely unacceptable.

I grew up overseas and have been enrolled in schools under churches, I have sung Christmas hymns during Christmas for as long as I can remember back then, I have read the Bible (both the Catholic and Protestant versions) and the Torah as well.

Being in this kind of environment made me long to understand the roots of my own religion of which I was not exposed to as a child. So when I returned to Malaysia, I, of my own volition enrolled in a religious school. There were definite pros and cons to this of course, and I would be lying if I state that I wholly liked the environment. I didn't.

I honestly hated the 'I am better that 90% of other muslims out there because I am in here' attitude, I did not understand the perception that girls who wore tudung labuh was better than the girls yang pakai tudung bawal, I hated the fact that people treated me as an outcast for the longest time because I spoke English with a Birmingham accent. I hated the fact that being friends with guys or even speaking to them was considered a huge 'faux pas' which resulted in you being an outcast even more and I hated the fact schools like this have an Arab culture and the tendency to exists in tribes, you know....group ini dan group itu.

But let me tell you something, it was there I discovered the absolute beauty of Islam, the religion that I was fortunate enough to be born into. I learned the concepts  of the oneness of Allah swt, the reasoning behind Allah swt 99 individual names in Tauhid, the reasoning behind every hukum conceivable applicable in our daily life in Fiqah, the history of Islamic development and growth in great detail in Sirah.

I learned the reasoning and the beauty of reading the Quran with the correct tajwid and pronounciation and how the meaning of the words and verses can dramatically change if you fail to pronouce or make use of the tajwid properly.

I learned the history and the reasoning behind the banning of alcohol, eating non-halal food, the rationale of women being asked to cover their aurat and the beauty and freedom that it affords women in that. I learned exceptions to the general rules and hukum in Islam and learned that my religion is one that is full of mercy, understanding and kelonggaran to those who profess it.

I learned and got to know the greatest Islamic teachers who taught me that I know are a dying breed. These are people who spent their entire lives learning just one subject in the very many facets of our religion, and by understanding that, I developed a newfound respect for ahli and ilmuan agama. Credit has to be given when it is due, and respect needs to be afforded to people who know their craft.

You think you can learn all there is to know about Islam by getting a taking a one year fastrack course or diploma in syariah? Dah alim ke bajet? You think you can pose controversial questions on facebook regarding fundamental concepts of religion and copy and paste an answer from the first website you googled when I ask you for an explanation? Accusing pakar ilmu agama and alim ulama' as being stuck in the 60s because they only concentrate on the issues of aurat is not funny and would showcase only one thing, IGNORANCE.

Do all of you know that the alim ulama' of the world has issued fatwas from everything that ranges from DNA testing, to having pork gelatin capsules in medication, to IVF for couples struggling to conceive, to women competing in sports events? Do not confuse cultural boundaries and stigma with religion, which most of us make the mistake of making, like how our Melayu culture states that it is a women's responsibility to do housework and when Islam has clearly stated that it is NOT.

I mean, the extent of the ignorance is just appalling. If you know you are ignorant of the precepts of your religion and tak berapa pandai, please go ask someone who knows and by that I DO NOT mean by typing for an answer in GOOGLE.

Some of my friends blame their parents of all people  "tapikan mak bapak I tak pernah emphasize belajar agama kat I". Haiyoo, umur pun dah 30, silalah pergi sendiri kuliah di masjid ke hape. If you malas sgt, pergilah tgk video-video kuliah ustaz ustaz dan alim ulama' di Youtube (nape, ingat takde ke? Org agama pun dah tech savvy ok?). No need to blame your parents lah.

People who think Islam is stifling and outdated clearly do not understand the precepts and reasoning behind it and take a narrow view of its kesyumulan. And for God's sake please do not use the term 'I am a liberal islamist' to justify your drinking of alcohol, engaging in pre-marital sex our sex outside of marriage or whatever it is the hell that you want to justify. That's just really you being ignorant again, or being in denial because you want to justify to yourself or whoever you may think is going to judge you that you are a good person. Good person you may be, but being a good muslim is something different altogether. That is your problem.

But seriously stop trying to make yourself feel better by mengutuk ulama' and your own religion and making it public on facebook like it is some badge of honour. Guess what? It  is NOT and it DOESN'T. There is nothing to be proud of when you are ignorant of the one most single fundamental presence and/or influence in your life and that is your faith. I find it strange how it is people who are born into Islam these days are the ones who tend to move away from it, whilst other people struggle to convert and to be born again into Islam and are alienated by their families, community for doing so and nevertheless push forward and do it. Sesungguhnya kita adalah org yang tidak tahu bersyukur.

I always feel obligated to explain what I have learned when I see statements like these on facebook because the prophet s.a.w. (may he be blessed) always said that I should propagate his teachings, be it to a single soul, tetapi org org mcmni, bila kita tegur tak kiralah cara baik ke, mulalah melenting and panggil kita ni perasan alim pastu start cakap pasal azazeel and what not, haiyooo...don't let me even get started on how fundamentally wrong some people can be on this.

Adoiii, well sorry for trying to do you a favour dude, you can then continue being an ignorant ass. So to make myself not feel obligated, I'm gonna just deactivate facebook for a while.

I am proud to be a Muslim, I am proud to be trying to be the best Muslim I can be everyday. I am proud to try and adhere to its principles and to refrain from doing what it has prohibited and unlike the Western world who believes in the burden and glory of freedom as JFK would put it, I thank Allah swt everyday that I am not faced with that burden, for my life is not mine to keep and to live as I please. My life, my possessions and my beloved is borrowed by the Almighty to me and to the Almighty shall it return. With that understanding, I shall try to live my life to the best of my ability in the way the Almighty has decreed in the Quran, by the sunnah of the prophet s.a.w. and by the knowledge of those who endeavour to learn and appreciate its beauty.

People who say otherwise can go sod it.

Have a good long weekend ahead.

When Your Life Flashes Before Your Eyes

Yesterday I went through one of the worst moments of my life.

Yes, I was almost a victim of a mugging and God knows what else.

I attended a hearing in the Court of Appeal for most part of the day and then rushed off to the Bar Council for the briefing on the new Court Rules 2012. On top of everything else, I was fasting sempena Nisfu Syaaban.

It was really jammed on the way home and feeling exhausted and knowing I could not reach home in time, I stopped at Giant Kelana Jaya to open fast. I parked my car at the side entrance. The parking lot was dark and not really lighted but I was so used to coming here, I did not really feel scared.

When I parked, I noticed 2 indonesian guys sitting out at the entrance smoking cigarettes. The weirs thing is, I felt a weird scary instinct like I should go home and not stop here. But I ignored it and walked inside. I sat down in the Chicken Rice Shop, ordered food and fiddled away on my phone, oblivious to my surroundings. A few minutes after opening my fast, I notice that the 2 guys were now in the restaurant as well. They were sitting quite far away and would normally out of sight, but I was sitting at a weird angle in the table and managed to see them without them actually seeing me. Strangely enough, they did not order food but just a drink each. And each one of them would actually crane their necks to check on me every now and then, not knowing that I can actually see them.


I felt pangs of fear but to test my suspicions I ate really slowly to see if they were just having drinks or were actually waiting for me to finish. Almost 40 minutes later. They still did not move from their chairs and hardly drank their drinks. But I still wanted to make confirm my suspicions. I got up, paid for my food and started walking around inside Giant in packed areas. Sure enough, they split up and covered different areas, meaning one would always be to my left, and the other to my right. I know however, that they could not make a move because the place was jam packed with people.

Scared I was because my suspicions were confirmed, I decided to do the following things:-

1. Not panic. And this was important because my first instinct in my moment of fear was to walk to my car where I felt safe, lock it and drive home. This would have been a mistake because someone may be waiting for me there.

2. Call/Approach reliable people. I called my sis, then my Dad to state that I think I was being followed. And they were on their way to pick me up straight away.

3. Keep yourself in a public place where you are sure you would be safe. My place of choice was at Starbucks, chock full of people at the time.

As soon as I sat inside, they lingered outside stealing looks at me. After a while, I think they realised that I knew they were tailing me. So they split up and disappeared, giving me the impression that I was now safe.

But I did not move. What if they were just staying out of sight, only to pounce on me when I am alone? When my parents came, they escorted me out of Giant and my dad took my car and my mum drove the other car, in different routes and directions home.

I made it out of this one, but needless to say I was and still am shaken. When I was sitting in Starbucks for about 15 minutes (the longest 15 minutes of my life) waiting for my parents, my life literally flashed before my eyes. I thought about giving birth to Airiel, about playing with Bonda and Maksu when we were kids, about my parents, about my wedding day to Aries and about my Long Call day. You truly realise what is truly important to you at times like this.

Girls, please be careful out there. Please please be vigilant. Had I not noticed these details and for instance, kept playing with my phone and then simply walked to my car, I truly believe that I would not be typing out this post at all. I would surely be dead.

And always trust your instincts. When you have a bad feeling, believe it because it's a sign from God to you. That was what I had. A bad feeling.

I am alive.

Everyday is a blessing.

Have a good weekend guys.

PadaMU Selamanya...

Sejenak ku imbasi kembali
Erti pelayaran usiaku
Ke timur ke Barat
Dunia akhirat
Segalanya...

Di tengah hangatnya kejahilan 
Membakar hangus keimanan
Dan aku hanyut tiada berpaut
Layu sudah pedoman diriku

Kini bersendiri ku meniti hari
Ke kanan ke kiri
Ku menilai kembali
Jalan ku lalui
Dan dosa yang telah pergi
Malah tanpa ku sedari
Air mata membasahi

Terasakan... terbuka
Kunci pintu hatiku
Nanti mula ketenangan di jiwa yang keliru
Terlerai kekusutan
Membaralah cinta
MilikMu Yang Esa
Selamanya

KepadaMu selamanya....

And you got problems?

I was about to whine in my next blog post, I really was.

And then I saw this picture.

And then I realised how small and insignificant my problems are. I cannot understand how anybody can do this to another human being.

If this picture does not make you flinch, you might as well shoot YOURSELF in the head. This was no arrest, this was an execution pure and simple. The guy was shot in the head while in handcuffs. What the f&^%!!! What threat could he have posed in handcuffs.

I do not care what kind of business relationship my country has with the Israel. Malaysia should END it.  These people are obviously the real terrorists.

So friends, stop complaining how the traffic jams bother you or how malaysian drivers suck.

Stop complaining about how you're in a long distance marriage (i do this all the time).

Stop complaining about how your kids misbehave or do not want to eat vegetables.

Stop complaining about how you had a fight with bf/gf (belum kahwin lagipun? boleh?) and that the world is coming to an end.

Stop complaining period.

Because some people in other parts of the world have REAL problems.

I have been such a whiner. May Allah forgive me.

Tipu yg dibenarkan dalam Islam

Scandalous tak tajuk ni. During a recent conversation with my in-laws, a statement got me really thinking. This statement was 'LELAKI BOLEH MENIPU TTG BERKAHWIN LAGI'. 


Apakah?


Now I have learned in my sekolah agama days that the ulama's views are diverged on this point. But let's look at the general consensus with regards to lies that are permissible in Islam.


Sabda Nabi s.a.w.; “Bukanlah dianggap pendusta/pembohong seorang yang berniat untuk memperbaiki di antara manusia dengan ia menyampaikan berita yang baik sahaja (di antara dua orang yang bergaduh/bersengketa) atau melaporkan yang baik-baik sahaja (dengan menyembunyikan yang tidak baik di antara mereka berdua)” (HR Imam al-Bukhari dan Muslim dari Ummu Kalsum r.a.). Dalam riwayat Imam Muslim, terdapat tambahan; Ummu Kalsum berkata; “Aku tidak mendengar Nabi s.a.w. memberi sebarang kelonggaran (untuk berbohong/berdusta) dalam percakapan manusia kecuali dalam tiga keadaan;

1) Ketika peperangan
2) Untuk mendamaikan di antara manusia
3) Percakapan seorang lelaki dengan isterinya dan percakapan seorang perempuan dengan suaminya
(HR Imam Muslim)

Berkata Imam an-Nawawi –mengulas hadis ini-; “Hadis ini dengan jelas telah mengharuskan beberapa bentuk pendustaan jika ada maslahah/kepentingan. Para ulamak telah membuat batasan bagi pendustaan/pembohongan yang diharuskan. Batasan yang terbaik ialah yang dikemukakan oleh Imam al-Ghazali yang menjelaskan; percakapan ialah jalan untuk mencapai maksud-maksud tertentu. Jika suatu maksud yang baik dapat dicapai dengan berkata benar, tidak harus lagi berdusta kerana pendustaan tidak diperlukan ketika itu. Namun jika maksud yang baik itu tidak ada cara untuk mencapainya melainkan dengan berbohong/berdusta, maka ketika itu berbohong/berdusta adalah harus jika maksud yang ingin dicapai itu hukumnya adalah harus. Jika maksud itu wajib, maka berdusta ketika itu juga wajib (kerana tidak ada cara lain lagi untuk mencapainya). Contohnya; ada seorang muslim bersembunyi dari seorang lelaki zalim dan kita mengetahui tempat persembunyiannya. Kemudian si zalim itu bertanya kita tempat lelaki muslim itu bersembunyi. Ketika itu wajib kita berdusta/berbohong (yakni tidak harus kita bercakap benar dengan memberitahunya). Contoh lain; kita ada menyimpan barang milik seseorang muslim, lalu ditanya tentangnya oleh seorang zalim yang ingin merampasnya, maka wajib kita berdusta untuk menyembunyikannya (bagi mengelak ia dirampas). Malah kata Imam al-Ghazali; jika kita memberitahu si zalim itu dan barang itu dirampasnya, wajib kita menggantikannya.

Namun langkah yang lebih berhati-hati ialah dengan kita melakukan at-Tauriyah iaitu berselindung, yakni tidak secara direct berdusta/berbohong. Maksud at-Tauriyah ialah kita bercakap dengan bahasa yang zahirnya nampak macam berdusta, tetapi secara terselindung (yakni biat di hati) kita tidak berdusta. (Lihat; al-Azkar, Imam an-Nawawi, kitab Hifzul-Lisan. *Terjemahan dilakukan secara bebas).

Bagi kes hubungan suami-isteri, maksud keharusan berdusta/berbohong ialah dalam menzahirkan kasih-sayang, berjanji sesuatu yang tidak lazim/mesti (ditunaikan) atau sebagainya. Sebagai contohnya; apabila isteri bertanya suami; sedap atau tidak masakannya? Suami pun menjawab; “sedap”, walhal sebenarnya tidak sedap. Jawapan itu bertujuan menjaga perasaan isteri walaupun suami sebenarnya berbohong. Berbohong sebegitu tidaklah dicela kerana tujuannya untuk mengekalkan kasih-sayang. Adapun melakukan penipuan/pembohongan untuk mengelak dari tanggungjawab/kewajipan terhadap pasangan masing-masing atau untuk merampas haknya secara batil, maka ia adalah haram dengan ijmak para ulamak. (Lihat; Syarah Soheh Muslim, Imam an-Nawawi)


Now, does the above circumstance cover an instance where a husband lies to one of his wives about the existence of another wife? I honestly doubt it. Especially when the husband in marrying another has avoided and/or abdicated his responsibility in respect of his other wife.


Wallahu a’lam.




References:-

1. al-Azkar, Imam an-Nawawi.
2. Syarah Soheh Muslim, Imam an-Nawawi, juz. 16, kitab al-Birri wa as-Silah.., Bab Tahrim al-Kazibi..
3. Raudhatul-Muttaqien, Syeikh Abdul-Qadier ‘Irfan, jil. 1, bab al-Islah baina an-Naas

Who says Muslims are terrorists?

Get your facts straight please!!


Who started the first world war ? Muslims ? Who started the second world war ? Muslims ? 


Who killed about 20 millions of Aborigines in Australia ? Muslims ?? Who sent the nuclear 


bombs of Hiroshima and Nagasaki ? Muslims ?? Who killed more than 100 millions of Indians 


in North America ? Muslims ?? Who killed more than 50 millions of Indians in south America ? 


Muslims ?? Who took about 180 millions of African people as slaves and 88% of them died 


and was thrown in Atlantic ocean ? Muslims ?? No , They weren't Muslims!!! First of all, You 


have to define terrorism properly... If a non-Muslim do something bad..it is crime. But if a 


Muslim commits the same..he is terrorist... So first remove this double standard...then come to 


the point!!!




Please remove this double standard.


Happy Friday everybody.


This quote was taken off Taher Yahya Saeed from Facebook.

It's a man's world out there..

I don't know why most of my friends would tell me and ask for my advice when having any marital issues. Maybe they know from my blog that I have faced them before and as I have survived, they would want to know how.

A dear friend is going through some tough times and permanent changes in her life. I hope she is strong enough to go through it.

Honestly, I am baffled by the amount of broken families, cheating spouses and marital problems that I have encountered in the short period that I have been on this earth.

We see lectures in TV, radio and facebook about the responsibilities and/or duties of a woman but I find that there so very little talk about the responsibilities and/or duties of a man. Is it because when a female ustazah talks about the responsiblities of a man, people think she must be emotional? And why doesn't the ustaz talk about it more? Is it because he is a man? I don't know. Shouldn't the man be the focus, as they are the leaders and protectors and are supposed to lead us?

I don't know, I have seen families broken in front of my eyes because a husband forgets his financial responsibilities, his filial obligations, his role as a father. Tergila-gilakan perempuan yang bukan halal baginya sampai lupa segala. Mengejar harta-benda sampai lupa agama. Mahukan kebebasan dari keluarga yang melemaskan kononnya tapi tidak tahu batasannya.

A man once told me,  that a woman can forgive a cheating husband but a man cannot forgive a cheating wife because we are built differently. And I asked him, is that really so? How are we built differently? Does it mean that women feel less pain when she finds out her husband is having sex with another woman and/or women and the man feels more pain when he finds out that his wife is having sex with another man and/or men?

The man kept quiet. I am sure that he knows deep down, the pain felt for us females is the same as felt by the men. But why do we women stay? I don't know. Maybe we look at the faces of our children and cannot bear to have them grow up without a father. Would a man care about that? I mean if he divorces his wife, he wouldn't have the baggage of having to take care of this children. The ex-wife would. He could just remarry and start over. See your kids once a week, pay a monthly allowance (and some don't even do that). Pretty easy upkeep for a child you are supposed to be responsible for bringing into this world kan? Maybe that's why its easier for the men to leave as they have less to think about.

I tell my friends, whatever you do..make sure you have means to an income. Jangan duduk rumah sahaja harapkan suami. You know the man who shares your bed, the father of your children...how many of them actually think housework is WORK? They come home, complain they're tired, sit themselves in front of the TV and they merely work a 12 hour day maximum. What about you, the housewife who works 24 hours, round the clock. Non-stop?

I had a friend whose husband looked down upon his wife and made a snide comment about her being a housewife. I told her to conduct a social experiment. I told her to start charging her husband for  everything she does. The husband said ok. So she charged what a dobi would charge for washing clothes, ironing of all the family's clothes. She charged normal gerai rates for all the food she cooked and the drinks she made. She charged standard house cleaner rates for all the housework that she did.

I told her to itemise everything and put it in an official bill to her husband and at the end of the week when the bill was presented to her husband, her husband looked at the itemised bill, popped his eyes and realised how he could not afford his wife had she charged him for everything that she did. He said sorry and has never made a comment about his wife being a housewife ever since. She tells me he is now very appreciative of what she does.

No guys, this is not about telling wives to berkira dengan suami, this is about getting husbands to wake up and appreciate what their wives do for them.

And so yes, I tell my friends to have an income. And one friend tells me of a new dilemma she faces after having an income. When she wants some duit belanja dari suami, you know what the suami says? 'Apa jadi dengan duit gaji hang bebanyak tu?' . So now, not only does she work and have to do housework. She gets no financial help from her husband because her husband uses the fact that she has a job to squeeze himself out of it.

Dari Abu Bakrah bahawa Rasulullah s.a.w bersabda:”suatu kaum tidak akan beruntung kerana mereka menyerahkan urusan-urusan mereka kepada wanita”. (H.R Bukhary, Tarmizi dan Nasa’i)

I almost fell off my chair. I tell my friend, then take what you need only without his knowledge. She almost fell of her chair hahaha.

Dari aisyah r.a berkata: sesungguhnya Hindun datang kepada Rasulullah lalu berkata: “wahai Rasulullah. Abu Sufyan adalah orang yang kikir dan tidak mahu memberikan kepadaku belanja yang cukup untukku dan anakku, sehingga terpaksa aku ambil dari hartanya tanpa pengetahuannya”. Lalu Baginda bersabda: “ambillah sekadar cukup untuk dirimu dan anakmu dengan wajar”. (H.R Bukhary dan Muslim)

Haa, lelaki di luar sana, jangan asyik pasal hadith dan ayat Quran pasal nak kahwin lagi satu jer ye. Ingat hadith ni sekali. Know that your wife can take your money without your knowledge for their needs and children's needs. Yang isteri plak, janganlah ambil melampau sgt. Asal cukup makan dan minum dan pakai anak-anak ok?

For the men who loves to keluar lewat-lewat malam untuk suka suki joli, tipu bini cakap pergi ceramah kat masjid tapi sebenarnya gi karaoke red box dengan God knows who:-

Dari Jabir: Nabi s.a.w melarang suami mengetuk pintu keluarganya pada malam hari,
melarang berkhianat kepada mereka atau mencari-cari kesalahan mereka. (H.R Muslim)

Haaa, balik rumah jgn dok jerit jerit marah bini suruh buka pintu. Dok menipu khianat bagai Nabi marah ok?

Sigh...I realise that we are living in a man's world. We have reversed all the work our revered Prophet has done to liberate and elevate women to a higher level and freedom. Years of cultural brainwash in a male dominated Malay society where the actions of a man are never questioned and where men, relishing in the position they have been afforded to, forgets that they were put there in the first place for a reason, and not just because of the fact that they are men.

I truly believe that the downfall of our society is due to faulty leaders, leaders of our country, leaders of our religion, leaders of society and leaders of our family. Jika tiada pemimpin yang berkaliber, yang arif hukum dan tanggungjawab mereka di sisi agama, bagaimana org di bawah pimpinan mahu mengikut? Who do they emulate? Who do they follow?

“Kamu semua adalah penjaga dan kamu akan ditanya tentang jagaannya. Imam (pemerintah) adalah penjaga dan akan ditanya tentang jagaannya. Lelaki adalah penjaga keluarganya dan dia akan ditanya tentang jagaannya. Wanita adalah penjaga di rumah suaminya dan dia akan ditanya tentang jagaannya. Khadam adalah penjaga dan dia akan ditanya tentang jagaannya. Kamu semua adalah penjaga dan kamu akan ditanya tentang jagaan kamu.” Riwayat al-Bukhari dan Muslim daripada Abdullah bin Umar.

My girls, sama-samalah kita berdoa agar kita telah memilih imam yang baik sebagai suami kita yang dapat membimbing kita and our children dan tahu tanggungjawab mereka.

My boys, I hope that you will be the best husband, father, leader to the family, to the community, society and the country.

Amin

Witchcraft...again

"Mereka mengikut ajaran sihir yang dibacakan oleh puak-puak syaitan dalam masa pemerintahan Nabi Sulaiman, pada hal Nabi Sulaiman tidak mengamalkan sihir yang menyebabkan kekufuran itu, akan tetapi puak-puak syaitan itulah yang kafir (dengan amalan sihirnya), kerana merekalah yang mengajar manusia ilmu sihir dan apa sahaja yang diturunkan kepada dua malaikat; harut dan marut, di negeri Babil (Babylon), sedang mereka berdua tidak mengajar seorang pun melainkan setelah mereka menasihatinya dengan berkata "Sesungguhnya kami ini hanyalah cubaan (untuk menguji imanmu), oleh itu janganlah engkau menjadi kafir (dengan mempelajarinya)". Dalam pada itu, ada juga orang-orang mempelajari daripada mereka berdua; ilmu sihir yang boleh menceraikan antara seorang suami, padahal mereka tidak akan dapat sama sekali memberi mudarat (atau membahayakan) dengan sihir itu seorang pun melainkan dengan izin Allah. Dan sebenarnya mereka mempelajari perkara yang hanya membahayakan mereka dan tidak memberi manfaat kepada mereka. Dan demi sesungguhnya mereka (kaum Yahudi itu) telah pun mengetahui bahawa sesiapa yang memilih ilmu sihir itu tidaklah lagi mendapat bahagian yang baik di akhirat. Demi sesungguhnya amatlah buruk apa yang mereka pilih untuk diri mereka, kalaulah mereka mengetahui."

                                                     [Al-Baqarah ayat 102]

As my readers would all know, I have been sick for more than a month now. Atok was also sick during the early part of the year.

Both of us have been to the hospital, ubat pun dah ambil. But while the medication helped a little bit with the symptoms, there were no signs of recovering at all.

At times like this, we turn to alternative medication. Imagine our horror when we discovered globs of soil and sand (the types of soil that you would usually find in a graveyard) neatly arranged all around our house.

The witchcraft on my father was so severe that he had to go through SEVEN (7) days of mandi limau. Mine and the rest of the family members were just one day of mandi limau. Can you imagine how bad it was for him?

Imagine my horror when during the alternative medication session, a cold metal knife touching my skin actually left burn marks. Imagine my horror when the 'whatever' the ustaz took from inside my body and stuffed inside a plastic bottle, the bottle started to roll and shake on the floor on its own. Takde angin ok.

Alhamdullillah, my cough has 90% literally dissipated overnight.

I am not into in this kind of stuff but heck, there are some things that you just cannot explain logically and our family has gone through this time and time again. Remember the blood coming out of the floor of our house episode sometime ago?

I wish I knew who did this to us. And no, not because I want to be vindictive or because I am angry or what. It is because I know that people like this, there is nothing they fear more other than EXPOSURE. Being known for perlakuan keji mereka. There is nothing they fear more than being discovered. And I do not want them to do this to anybody else.

I know a few people out there who practices witchcraft as a way of life. Like if there is anything they want or do not want or do not like, mesti nak pergi jumpa b^$%*. Demam pergi jumpa b$%^&, rasa gemuk pergi jumpa b^%$%, masak tak sedap pergi jumpa b$%^&, not doing well at work or school pergi jumpa b%)(h. Nak husband/isteri sayang pergi jumpa b#%^^. Nak pikat awek/lelaki pergi jumpa &^^%@. Memang I know them personally. Aduh, kenal org mcmni memang meremang bulu roma.

You nak jahanamkan diri you sendiri sbb percaya ada benda yang lebih hebat dari kuasa Tuhan, you go ahead la kan, but why nak dengkikan orang? Kegilaan apa yang sanggup mendorong orang pergi ambil tanah kubur susun dekat rumah org lain?

What shade of black is the colour of your heart sampai you boleh pergi jumpa &^%# and cakap, saya nak org ni sakit sampai mati (in the case of my father)  or saya nak org ni sakit sampai dia tak boleh kerja (in my case la kan).

Bukankah kuasa yang paling hebat dimiliki oleh Allah yang Maha Esa? Do these people not fear balasan dari Yang Maha Esa?

Semoga Allah swt membalas dengan balasan yang setimpal terhadap sesiapa yang bertanggungjawab. Biarlah dia merasa pula kesakitan yang dia telah lakukan terhadap kami dan sesiapa saja yang telah dianayai olehnya selama ini. Amin. 

Because it should be shared

A chronological timeline of documentation of violence on the Palestinian by you tahulah siapa kan?

Please read this link 

Rightful owner of my Heart...

I get terrified whenever my wedding anniversary draws near.

Nothing good ever happens to my marriage on my anniversary. 3 years in a row, something bad always
happens when my anniversary draws near.

My heart is terrified of something bad happening this year. I repeat, TERRIFIED. Maka hati ini berdoa.

And then I read this quote on facebook:-

"This world cannot break you—unless you give it permission. And it cannot own you unless you hand it 

the keys – unless you give it your heart. And so, if you have handed those keys to dunya for a while—

take them back. This isn’t the End. You don’t have to die here. Reclaim your heart and place it with its 

rightful owner...God."

This quote is from Yasmin  Mogahed, and the link to her blog can be found at the lists of blogs I read.

And so I shall place my heart, with all its shattered and broken parts and pieces that I have

painstakingly pieced together to the one who will never break it, whose love stands immortal, who I 

know I can trust with every fibre of my being, who has blessed me with so much and whose kindness I 

can never repay.

MasyaAllah. I leave this heart of mine with you, Ya Allah. And I am ok. Come what may... I will be ok.