Never Knew I Needed...

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be..." ~ Douglas Adams

For the way you changed my plans

For being the perfect distraction

For the way you took the idea that I had

Of everything I wanted to have

And made me see there was something missing

For the ending of my first beginning

And for the rare and unexpected friend

For the way you're something that I'd never choose

But at the same time something I don't want to lose

I never want to be without ever again

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you walked here

I had no idea

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

Now it's so clear I need you here always

My accidental happily every after

The way you smile and how you comfort me with your laughter

I must admit you were not a part of my book

But now if you open it and take a look

You're the beginning and the end of every chapter

Who knew that I could be

So unexpectedly

Undeniably happier

With you right here next to me

Because you're the best thing I never knew I needed

So when you walked here

I had no idea

You're the best thing I never knew I needed

Now it's so clear I need you here always...

Now it's so clear

I need you here always..

#miqa

#ceriteracintahamba

Piece by Piece

"So many versions of one memory, and yet none of them were right or wrong. Instead, they were all pieces. Only when fitted together, edge to edge, could they even begin to tell the whole story.." ~ Sarah Dessen

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Almighty.

This song is just such an emotional one. The struggle of children in broken families. As a single mother it gets to the heart. Airiel has a loving dad and for that I will always be thankful. For all other kids out there in single parent homes who are not so lucky, I feel for you. May all of you be strong...

And all I remember is your bag

Walking towards the airport leaving us all in your past

I traveled 15 hundred miles to see you

I begged to you to want me but you didn't want to

But piece by piece he collected me 

Up off the ground where you abandoned things

Piece by piece he filled the holes

That you burned in me at 6 years old

He never walks away

He never asks for money

He takes care of me because he loves me

Piece by piece

He restored my faith

That a man can be kind

And a father could stay

And all of your words

They fall flat

I made something of myself and now you want to come back

But your love it isn't free

It has to be earned

Back then I didn't have anything you needed

So I was worthless

But piece by piece he collected me 

Up off the ground where you abandoned things

Piece by piece he filled the holes

That you burned in me at 6 years old

 

He never walks away

He never asks for money

He takes care of me because he loves me

Piece by piece

He restored my faith

That a man can be kind

And a father could stay

Piece by piece

 Piece by piece

I fell far from the tree

I will never leave her like you left me

She will never have to wonder her worth

Because unlike you

I'm going to put her first

He'll never walk away

He'll never break her heart

He'll take care of things 

He loves her

Piece by piece

He restored my faith

That a man can be kind

And a father should be great

Piece by piece...

May Airiel grow up to be the best man he can be. Amin

Have a good rest of the week.

Much love from Airiel and I.

Gravity

"I have dreamt in my life, dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they have gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the colour of my mind. And this is one; I'm going to tell it - but take care not to smile at any part of it..." ~ Emily Bronte

In the name of Allah, the Benevolent, the most Merciful.

At the outset, I must say that this post is about Akif and Aisha...

I have not written about them in so long. And I find not writing makes it heavy. The weight of keeping everything inside, its heavy.

I stumbled along this song, and it immediately gave me flashbacks of my angel son and angel daughter. Sometimes, how you feel, words just fall short. And it takes a song, or its melody to express it for you.

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long

No matter what I say or do

I still feel you here until the moment I'm gone

You hold me without touch

You keep me without chains

I've never wanted anything so much

Than to drown in your love and not feel your rain

Set me free

Leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

You loved me because I'm fragile

When I thought that I was strong

But you touch me for a little while

All my fragile strength is gone

Set me free

Leave me be

I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity

Here I am and I stand so tall

Just the way I'm supposed to be

But you're on to me and all over me

I live here on my knees

As I try to make you see

That you're everything I think I need

Here on the ground

You're neither friend or foe

Though I can't seem to let you go

One thing that I know

Is that you're keeping me down

Keeping me down

You're on to me

On to me

On to me

All over

Something always brings me back to you

It never takes too long..

Mama misses you Akif

Ummi misses you Aisha

More than anyone could know or imagine...

Bunga...

Tak usah ditanya
Mengapa ku pilih
Bunga yang mewangi
Terlihat berseri
Yang tak akan nampak di matapun
Berwarni dari lain lain
Segan untuk aku sapa
Walau ada maksud yang ku sembunyi

Pernah ku mencuba terima seadanya
Sayang ia selalu calarkan sudut hatiku
Hingga lelah jiwaku dikecewa
Yang tak mungkin berpaling kembali
Namun ku yakinkan hati Tuhan pasti beri gantinya

Ku mohonkan yang indah padamu
Untuk ku tatap menawar resahku
Kekal aku disitu harungi cinta
Dan aku pohonkan yang baik
Bersantun kata kata tentang cinta
Bicarakan rindu padaku mengharum selamanya

Pernah ku mencuba terima seadanya
Sayang ia selalu calarkan sudut hatiku
Hingga lelah jiwaku dikecewa
Yang tak mungkin berpaling kembali
Namun ku yakinkan hati Tuhan pasti beri gantinya...

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

"As far as you can avoid it , do not give grief to anyone. Never inflict your rage on another. If you hope for eternal rest, feel the pain yourself; but don't hurt others" ~ Omar Khayyam

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I dreamed of once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true

Someday I'll  wish upon a star
And wake up when the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Then why of why can't I...

Last Kiss

"When someone is crying, of course, the noble thing to do is to comfort them. But if someone is trying to hide their tears, it may also be noble to pretend you do not notice them" ~ Lemony Snicket

Oh where oh where
Can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I have got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

We were out on a date in my daddy's car
We haven't driven very far
There in the road
Straight up ahead
A car was stalled
The engine was dead
I couldn't stop so I swerved to the right
I'll never forget the sound that night
The screaming tyres
The busting glass
The painful scream that I heard last

Oh where oh where
Can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I have got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

When I woke up
The rain was pouring down
There were people standing all around
Something warm running in my eyes
But somehow I found my baby that night
I lifted her head
She looked at me and said "Hold me darling just a little while"
I held her tight, I kissed her our last kiss
I found the love that I knew I would miss
But now she's gone even though I hold her tight
I lost my love, my life that night

Oh where oh where
Can my baby be
The Lord took her away from me
She's gone to heaven so I have got to be good
So I can see my baby when I leave this world

To Where You Are

There are times
I swear I know you're here
When I forget about my fears
Feeling you might hear
Watching over me
My hope sees what the future will bring
When you ride me in your wings
And take me where you are
Where you and I will breathe together once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight just like we used to do
And you'll be smiling back at me
Only then will I be free
When I can be where you are

And I can see your face
Your kiss I still can taste
Not a memory erased
I see your star shining down on me
And I'd do anything if I could just be right there where you are

Where you and I will breathe together once again
We'll be dancing in the moonlight like we used to do
And you'll be smiling back at me
Only then will I be free
Then I will be free
So take me where you are

There are times when selfishly
I wish that you were here with me
So I can wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see
That every night while you are dreaming
I am here to guard you from afar
And anytime I feel your love
I close my eyes and dream of where you are...

I still believe
I have got to believe
That I will touch you that sweet day
That you'll take me there...

Song of Sorrow...

A cold dream
Though it may be against my existence
Though it may hold under this sky the reason for me to live
It is the reality we are breathing

Please do not forget me
The passing memories of this sorrow
With tears I held on to you but
My love I could not give you

Though the world forsakes me
Against me though it turns
Under a different fate let us meet
This I promise you
At the rough end of the world
For this everlasting love
I turn against destiny

Please do not worry of me
This picture I see is already familiar to me
Now I throw away time
Which cannot be turned back
I will wish for your happiness


Though the world forsakes me
Against me though it turns
Under a different fate let us meet
This I promise you
At the rough end of the world
For this everlasting love
I turn against destiny...

Sadder than sadness

I loved zealously
Loved only you
I really loved zealously
Not realising you were never by my side
I love you, loved you, only you
I loved only you, I love you
I couldn't say that simple phrase
Now I must leave ahead, alone

I will never love again
I will not love even in death
Even if you come back
I will never be fooled again

I would rather be the way before we loved
When I didn't know love
I want to go back to then
I won't ever love again

Because I love
Because I love you
Your pain, your grief, your sadness
I take it all


I would rather be the way before we loved
When I didn't know love
I want to go back to then
I won't ever love again

I will never love again....

Aku Maafkan Kamu

My current fave song:-

Aku Maafkan Kamu

Ada teratak di hujung kampung
Bawah cermin kopak ada kotak
Tersembunyi dalamnya ada tempurung
Sembunyi bawahnya katak melalak

Atur sepuluh daktil batal yang batil
Detik dua usul ditutup satu lagi tampil
Dari halaman rusuk kiri satu susuk ganjil
Minta diisolasi dari dalil busuk jahil
Aspirasi tak serasi dengan suara bunyi
Inkarserasi dari penghuni dan keluarga bumi
Surat wasiatnya atas paksi dalam rumi
Minta dikebumikan hidup-hidup dalam guni
Mana cepat terbang atau warna gelang tangan
Buah fikiran aneh tergantung di persimpangan
Halusinasi susuli ketandusan ihsan
Ubat parut auditori kesan artileri insan
Gagal dikesan

Aku maafkan kamu
Tak perlu kita bertemu
Cukup kau tahu
Yang aku
Maafkan kamu
Tolong teruskan hidup
Jangan sebut namaku

Timbul tenggelam, timbul tenggelam
Acapkali terpendam, acapkali tersergam
Cermin muka kopak penuh bintik hitam silam
Ini bukan lagu rindu ini madah dendam
Ku ditimbang tanpa neraca di awal usia
Ku dihukum masuk neraka oleh manusia
Minta tunjuk lubang atau pintu tak dapat jawapan jitu
Jadi aku tak berganjak biarkan saja begitu
Maafkan mereka, mereka tidak tahu
Mereka tidak ramas buku, mereka segan ilmu
Mereka tidak fasih malah fasik guna kata
Kita kongsi nama bangsa tapi tidak kasta bahasa
Maafkan mereka, mereka tiada nilai
Ibu bapa lalai dari kecil dah diabai
Tanpa kasih sayang, mereka suka menyakiti
Kita kongsi warna mata tapi tidak warna hati

Atas kepala murai sekawan
Baling ku ramit kucup lehernya
Terlalu rahi dendam di angan
Sampai terkacip mulut mahirnya

Aku maafkan kamu
Tak perlu kita bertemu
Cukup kau tahu
Yang aku
Maafkan kamu
Tolong teruskan hidup
Jangan sebut namaku

Jangan ahli sihir seru nama maharaja
Nanti segerombolan hantu bisu yang menjelma
Guna hak berfikir sebelum hak untuk bersuara
Kalau terpelajar sila guna hak miranda
Pura-pura dengar, telan tapi tidak hadam
Hafaz bila lafaz tapi mereka tidak faham
Mereka mula kiri, aku kanan bila baca
Sudah mahir rumi, mari tafsir alif ba ta

(Alif)
Ada teratak di hujung kampung
 

(Ba)
Bawah cermin kopak ada kotak
 

(Ta)
Tersembunyi dalamnya ada tempurung
Sembunyi bawahnya katak melalak

Ada teratak di hujung kampung
Bawah cermin kopak ada kotak
Tersembunyi dalamnya ada tempurung
Sembunyi bawahnya katak melalak

Aku maafkan kamu
Tak perlu kita bertemu
Cukup kau tahu
Yang aku
Maafkan kamu
Tolong teruskan hidup
Jangan sebut namaku

Ada teratak di hujung kampung
Bawah cermin kopak ada kotak
Tersembunyi dalamnya ada tempurung
Sembunyi bawahnya katak melalak

Ternyata kamu lebih suci dari apa yang kubayangkan

Sesuai gitu!!!!

Angel with Silver Wings

Tears in Heaven


Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven
I must be strong and carry on
Because I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven
I'll find my way through night and day
Because I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend you knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace I'm sure
And I know there will be no more tears in heaven

Eric Clapton wrote this beautiful song after the death of his son. Isn't amazing how something so painful can translate itself into such a beautiful song like this?

Amazing..

Hiding My Heart

This is how the story went
I met someone by accident
He blew me away
Blew me away

It was in the darkest of my days
When you took my sorrow
And too my pain
And buried them away

I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done
And wake up to your face against the morning sun
But like everything I've ever known
You disappeared in a daze
So i spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Dropped off you of at the airport
Put a kiss on top of your forehead
Watched you walk away
Then I went on home to my skyscrapers and neon lights and waiting papers
That I call home
I call that home

I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done

And wake up to your face against the morning sun

But like everything I've ever known

You disappeared in a daze

So i spend my whole life hiding my heart away

Woke up feeling heavy hearted

Im ging back to where i started

The morning rain... the morning rain

Though I wish you were here 

On the same old road that brought me here

Its calling me home

I wish I could lay down beside you when the day is done

And wake up to your face against the morning sun

But like everything I've ever known

You disappeared in a daze

So i spend my whole life hiding my heart away

I can't spend my whole life hiding my heart away...

Harapan Padamu Subur Kembali

Bonda has been going through a tough time lately.
This nasyid is for her. Its a classic.


Bonda, listen to the nasyid here ok?


Wahai Tuhanku yang Esa
Bila kenangkan qaharMu
Rasa gerun dihatiku
Kerana takutkan seksaMu


HambaMu rasa berputus asa
Siapakah dapat bersihkan diri
Dari segala dosa yang memburu
Setiap hari setiap ketika


Tika mengenang Ghafar-Mu
Putus asa tiada lagi
Semangatku pulih semula
Harapanku subur kembali

Ujian menimpa menekan di jiwa
Tak sanggup meneruskan perjuanganku
Mehnah-Mu itu penghapus dosaku
Mengganti hukuman-Mu di akhirat

Di waktu mengenang rahma-tMu
Terasa diri kurang bersyukur
Pada-Mu harusku memohon
Moga syukurku bertambah

Alangkah susahnya
Mendidik nafsuku
Yang tidak mengenal kebenaran-Mu
Ya Alloh Tuhanku
Bantulah hamba-Mu
Dalam mendidik jiwaku ini

Wahai Tuhan ku Yang Esa
Bila kenangkan Qahar-Mu
Rasa gerun di hatiku
Kerana takutkan seksa-Mu 

Jar of hearts

This is my current fave song, I liked this before it became such a meteoric hit. The lyrics touch me...
Although I am comfortable with how I am feeling these days and the healing process is moving along, the lyrics was once 'me'.

And I think this song applies to everyone, family members who takes advantage of you, friends who do not appreciate you, spouses who betray you, bosses who undermine you. It is an empowering song indeed. At least that's what is was for me.

Jar of Hearts


No, I can't take one more step towards you
Because all that's waiting is regret
Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I love the most

I learned to live half a life
Now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are
Running around leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Who do you think you are

I hear you're asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms

I learned to live half a life

Now you want me one more time

Who do you think you are

Running around leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

Who do you think you are

It took so long just to feel alright

Remember how to put back the light in my eyes

I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed

Because you broke all your promises

And now you're back

You don't get to get me back

Who do you think you are

Running around leaving scars

Collecting your jar of hearts

And tearing love apart

You're gonna catch a cold

From the ice inside your soul

So don't come back for me

Dont come back at all

Who do you think you are.....

Here is the video clip of the original song and the song on glee

Glee version : - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5GmqLFr1Z0

Original version: - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8v_4O44sfjM

Taking my breath away...

I am enamored with Adele and her songs.

I have been searching for her album high and low but cannot find it. Any ideas people?

Read the lyrics to one of her songs. You'll understand why I am now such a fan. This song is called

'Don't You Remember'


When will I see you again
You left with no goodbye
Not a single word was said
No final kiss to seal any sins
I had no idea of the state we were in
I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness
And a wondering eye and a heaviness in my head


But don't you remember
Don't you remember
The reason you loved me before
Baby please remember me once more


When was the last time you thought of me
Or have you completely erased me from your memory
Because I often think about where I went wrong
The more I do and the less I know
But I know I have a fickle heart and a bitterness

And a wondering eye and a heaviness in my head

But don't you remember

Don't you remember

The reason you loved me before

Baby please remember me once more

Gave you the space so you could breathe

And I kept my distance so you would be free

In hopes that you find the missing piece

To bring you back to me

Why don't you remember

Don't you remember

The reason you loved me before

Baby please remember you used to love me

When will I see you again

She has killer love performances. They simply take my breath away. Hear her here :- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCJioc KtQ4&feature=autoplay&list=PL62D2950F7D6828D9&index=36&playnext=4

Moment Jiwang

A cold dream
Though it may be against my existence
Though it may hold under this sky the reason for me to live
It is the reality you are breathing
Please do not forget me
The passing memories of this sorrow
With tears I held onto you
But my love I could not give you
Though the world forsakes me
Against me though it turns
Under a different fate let us meet
This I promise you
For this everlasting love
I turn against destiny
Please do not worry about me
The picture I see is already familiar to me
Now I throw away time which cannot be turned back
I will wish for your happiness
Under a different let us meet...

Owwhh...Kim Bum Soo...sungguh indah lagu korea mu...

Sob sob sob...

Ini sebenarnya lagu korea tau...cantik sungguh liriknya..where to find songs like this anymore?

Nak dengar lagu dia? Klik sini

Layannnn.....

Korean songs and their beautiful lyrics

You're Leaving Me

It can come to us

I didn't know

That separation could come

Maybe my love wasn't enough

Maybe it was lacking

I'm sorry for everything

But telling me to live as someone who doesn't know you

Telling me to go meet other people

The reality of your words

Has not sunk into me yet

You're leaving me...

How can you leave me?

Don't do this

Please...

Look at my sadness

What do you want me to do with this regret?

I want to turn back time

Don't leave me

I miss you so much that my heart will explode

I'm left alone like this

Buy you are coldly frozen up

Why aren't those words sinking in?

You're leaving me..

How can you leave me?

I could have given you everything by now

I was going to make you happy and carefree

My heart hurts

I miss you so much

Maybe if I wait like this, you'll return...

I didn't know I would be alone again

I stupidly thought you would be the last one in my life

Don't do this please...I really love you

I was going to make you happy and carefree

I want to turn back time

Don't leave me..

I miss you so much that my heart will explode

_____________________________________________________

This is the lyrics to this Korean song sung by Kim Bum Soo titled 'You're leaving me'. Honestly I am fascinated by the lyrics and the beautiful vocals of this singer. His songs fascinate and move me at the same time.

The video clip from youtube is credited to its owner. Give it a listen and tell me what you think. Go K-POP!!!

Beautiful Disaster

He drowns in his dreams
An exquisite extreme I know
He's as damned as he seems
But more heaven than a heart could hold
And If I tried to save him
My whole world would cave in
It just isn't right
Lord, it just isn't right

I don't know
I don't know what he is after
But he is so beautiful
He is such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful
Or just a beautiful disaster

I am longing for love in the logical
But he's only happy hysterical
I am searching for some kind of miracle
Waited so long
I have waited so long

He's soft to the touch
But frail at the end he breaks
He's never enough
And still he is more than I can take

I don't know

I don't know what he is after

But he is so beautiful

He is such a beautiful disaster

And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter

Would it be beautiful

Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful

Lord he is so beautiful

He is beautiful..

King of sorrow

I'm crying everyone's tears
And there inside our private war, I died the night before
And all of this remnants of joy and disaster
What am I supposed to do

I want to cook you a soup that warms the soul
But nothing would change, nothing would change at all
It's just a day that brings it all about
Just another day
Nothing's any good

The DJ's playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder if this grief will ever let me go
I feel like I am the king of sorrow
King of sorrow

I suppose I could just walk away
Will I disappoint my future if I stay
It's just a day that brings it all about
Just another day
Nothing's any good

The DJ's playing the same song
I have so much to do
I have to carry on
I wonder if this grief will ever be gone
Will it ever go
I am the king of sorrow
King of sorrow

I'm crying everyone's tears
I have already paid for all my future sins
There's nothing anyone can say to take this away
It's just another day
Nothing's any good

I am the king of sorrow...
Indeed

Jiwang sekejap

Bermimpi Lagi

Lautan takkan mampu menampung airmata

Mentari tak tersuluh mendungku di jiwa

Semakin bayangmu pudar

Semakin terseksa dan tanpaku rela

Gugur semangatku mangharung dunia

Mungkin kau dah berubah

Tidak seperti dulu

Mungkin dunia serba indah bila jauh dariku

Nyatakanlah kekuranganku

Agarkan sempurna menghiasi hidup

Serba kesepian tanpa belaianmu

Tak sanggup aku walau sedetik

Untuk kehilanganmu kasih

Kerana ku percaya cinta abadi selamanya

Biar hilang dlm genggaman

Cintamu akan ku kejarkan

Berdua bersatu

Hingga nafas terakhirku

Mengapa harus kau mengalah

Pada dugaan kau menyerah

Sedaya ku tadah gelisah

Namun tanpamu aku rebah

Katakan ku masih di hati

Walau helah tak kupeduli

Asal lena tak dikejuti

Kerana ku masih bermimpi lagi

Lagu ni lagu lama..time bercintun dulu hehe..

Ntah... sekarang nih dah gemar dgr lagu slow slow... getting old perhaps?

I think lately my posts semuanya mcm emotional ntah hape-hape ntah. Tapi lepas ni mcm dah ade resolution dlm diri utk tak mahu jiwang karat lagi n takmo taruh post ngok ngek mcmni.

Maybe sebab disturbing things happening to me and Aries lately...tuh yg terlebih emosi tu. Tapi bila pikir sgt rasa mcm dah nak muntah dah pikir. Baikla tak payah pikir.

Baik jadik workaholic..like the original me... so tak payah pikir lagik mende lain. At least at the end of the year..dpt gak bonus melambak... berbaloi usaha lebih.

Time ni tgh contemplate nak buat mende exciting... mcm my friend Kak Kelly kat SANCO dulu dgn diri ini selalu plan. Hehe... I really salute her... she's such a free spirit...I miss you Kak Kelly!!! Hugzy!

Ohh.. by the way, my newest puchase is these jeans leggings..from Red Ocaso

Loves!

Malangnya utk sesiapa yg berminat, its already sold out...sigh

Maybe nak siap decorate Airiel punya play area this weekend. Tunggu gamba ye guys!!