Private it shall be

After some thought, I have decided to make this blog private..

It talks about a lot of private things..things that only friends should be privy to..

Those who can view this blog..welcome..

Annoyed

Misunderstanding stuff of legends?

Saper yg famous kat sini for giving half-past six instructions, bukan ko ke? How am i supposed to know what's at the back of your bloody mind?

So uncalled for.. so unfair..

Bukan salah aku sekretari ko pass menda kat aku without showing you.

Semalam aku tunjuk kat ko menda ni..tapi ko sibuk pasal kek ko..

Who's famous for mood swings kat sini..ko jugak kan?

If you don't want to work with me..aku lagila tak nak keje dgn ko..

Paham...ngerti?

Terima kasih atas cemuhan anda. It just shows how petty and anal you are..

Wedding season

My sis is getting hitched! She's making the jump!

My oh my..time flies

This 20th, Airiel is 8 months old

I'm getting all teary eyed la pulak

Turning all mellow in my old age..heheh

Pics on sis' wedding will be up next week!

Stay tuned!!!!

Bertamu di Kalbu

What a song.. and Jaclyn Victor, what a voice

This one's going to be evergreen for me

Ku genggam semilir malam

Tika rembulan menyinari

Lalu ku madahkan kata cinta nan suci

Dan akan ku hembuskannya

Tika malam syahdu

Kerana dalamnya

Kasih sedalam lautan

Setinggi mentari

Tak mampu digapai

Oleh khayalan insani

Cuma di naluri

Katakan bara melecur diri

Bisa memercik jalan nan luka

Dengan selasih balut pedih ngeri

Tiada berpaling setia

Adalah sejarah jadi saksi

Bulan bintang menghangat kasih suci

Kitapun terpaut dan bersatu

Dalam bebayang mimpi berseri

Ku layarkan asmara

Di pelabuhan setia

Akan ku rentangkan

Sang pelangi suci

Yang pasti anggun dihati

Bertamu di kalbu

A wake up call

Yesterday Airiel had a fever..

Nenda was home by lunch..

So was Bonda..

Atuk..memang tak leave the house langsung..sayangkan cucu..

But I was in the office and left around 7.00 which is considered early already..

and only reached home around 8.30

The fact of the matter is this..I am not around Airiel that much..

And Nenda made a remark which kicked me in the gut..

I sat down on a corner of the floor and cried my eyes out..

The gist of what she says was this: -

Airiel is my son, and all he has is his mother. His father is for all intents and purposes is absent from his life..because 1 and 1/2 days on the weekend does not count for anything at all..

And she is right..

What does that make me? I am the mother..but I also need to be the father.. but where the hell am I 12 hours in a day? The office..

I must have my priorities all wrong..that must be the only answer

And Nenda says I need to think about it seriously...because the moments I have lost with Airiel, I can never regain..

Again, she is right..

But the nature of my work is as such, private practice is exhausting..and we have deadlines imposed by the court which we cannot push back..

Explaining this does no one any good... and changes nothing..

I for one, do know how you cannot make up for lost time with someone so pivotal in your life...and once the opportunity is lost..it is lost forever.

I can't be a mother and father at the same time..I think it is too much to be asked of me... it is not a choice I am faced with here. I am out of options. It is a responsibility that I have to shoulder.

So I'll take it on a day to day basis.. and stand the criticisms that anyone throws at me..

I am not a bad mother, and I try my best..and that's all I can do..I hope when Airiel can read, he will read this one day and understand..

"YOU NEVER KNOW HOW STRONG YOU REALLY ARE UNTIL BEING STRONG IS THE ONLY OPTION YOU HAVE"

Airiel, mama loves you.. don't you ever forget that

This is love

This is love indeed..

Blessed I am..