And it hurts

After my first love. I built this suit of armor, so strong, so invulnerable. I came across you. Slowly my guard was let down. So vulnerable to pain and despair. A love so perfect, so beautiful, was the double edged sword. One side so sweet. So dull of worry. So full of love. The other so sharp of worry. So deadly with confusion. So overcome of aberrancy. They meet at the apex. The sword was the only thing, the only thing to pierce through the armor. Through the mind, the soul, the heart. The sword tears a hole. The sharpest of sides is numb to pain. The dull side brings a pain. A pain so excruciating, the pain unreal, the suffering so great. This side pierces the mind, the soul, the heart... The wound lasting and irreparable. A pain never to leave. A pain that allows you to live but in turn, it kills the mind, the soul, the heart. A pain that may lie dormant, only to arise and hurt more than it ever did. But through all doubt and suffering, the love was worth the pain. The love was so perfect..so beautiful. Was worth the pain. Was worth the death of me. Was worth losing everything I ever had. Even if it was you that I lost..

And it hurts..

New purchase

I just bought this:-

I previously bought a black baju kurung pahang from them as well.. Refer to this post. Size S fits me perfectly.. So bila kuar design baru ..apalagi kan.

They have a black version, but not in size S, so I decided to order the blue one. Likey!!

Signs he is Mr. right!!

Just wanted to share this.. hehe..found it on yahoo..

Think your Mr. Next has the potential to be Mr. Right? Before you leap without looking, take an honest inventory. See how many of the following five essential traits he possesses.

Dating Trait #1: He listens to you

The best way to know if Mr. Next is interested in (and worthyof) being a candidate for Mr. Right? He listens to you. You'll know he's listening when he shows genuine concern, consistently remembers things you've told him (your birthday, favorite food, best friend's name, etc.), and offers emotional support in honest and thoughtful ways.

Dating Trait #2: He connects with you easily

We've all been in those relationships that take W-O-R-K (and suck the life force out of us in the process). When a relationship works on its own, it feels effortless, easy, and fluid. You don't have to force anything, forgive anyone, or turn a blind eye to red flags or gut-twisters. Instead, you communicate and collaborate with comfort, compatibility, and undeniable chemistry. If and when you experience this kind of interaction, you are on to something really special.

Dating Trait #3: He wants the real you

So often, women feel the need to sacrifice some part of themselves to make a relationship work. In the right relationship, there's no need. You don't have to hide, tone down, or apologize for any aspect of you or your fabulous life. With the right partner, you're not only able to be yourself, but you're better able to be the best version of your most authentic self -- no compromises needed.

Dating Trait #4: He's trustworthy

A relationship without trust is doomed from the start.

A relationship without trust is doomed from the start. But a relationship with abundant trust? A fabulous foundation for real and lasting love! Built over time, trust is based on the simple belief system that your partner has your best interests at heart and will never intentionally hurt you (and vice versa). If and when you discover that Mr. Next is 100 percent trustworthy, you'll have no trouble giving your heart to him. In return, he'll most likely give you his heart and pave the way for a lasting, loving relationship to unfold.

Dating Trait #5: He enriches your life

In the wrong relationship, your partner tears you to emotional shreds, brings you down, and in general drains your energy. In the right relationship, he enriches your life, inspires you to be your best self, and brings a sense of peace and possibility to you. You'll know Mr. Next is enriching your life if and when he encourages and supports you professionally, personally, and spiritually. And when he does, he may just be Mr. Right!

Does your Mr. Next possess all five qualities? If so, congratulations! You have done your homework, chosen wisely, and are now well positioned for relationship success.

If not, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back into the dating pool with a clearer understanding of who you want to date. Remember, finding your life partner isn't always easy, but by being clear, honoring yourself, and acting accordingly, you'll cut down on wasted time with Mr. Wrong and Mr. Next, and ultimately make room for Mr. Right.

Hope our respective partners have these qualities kan?

Hehe

B*TN

Ngok punya B*TN sbb ada klas weekend jugak..

You took away the time husband is to spend with me and the son..

Perluke buat kelas and camp and brainwashing on a weekend? Perlue ke?

I mean..these are not 18 year olds ok...dah ada responsibility..bini org..laki org..bapak org..mak org..mane leh tinggal mcmtu jer?

BOLLOCKS!

Award

Kak Lina Tagged me for this award.. Thanks!

Online shopping tahap maut..

Setelah lama tak shopping online..more than a month or so, I have suddenly gone on a rampage and bought some stuff, tapi alhamdulillah semuanya dalam bajet.Takkan beli jika its beyond my budget.

Anyways, my purchases below:-

Spanx from Sara Blakely. Eventhough I lost all my pregnancy weight real quick, tapi my body shape has changed permanently, hope this will keep it in check..hehe I bought it at

Sapphire Ministore

Funky bracelets from Ursecret store

Batik from Saujana Batik (Court appropriate)

Another lovely batik piece from Batik Sutera Lover

I bought a top from Attire Attic as well, but they deleted the pic before I could upload it here.

So..there you go. Please head on over to the blogshops above to what's in store. They have marvelous stuff, service is fast ..and have been earmarked by me for my regular shopping.

I'm still waiting for some of Airiel's stuff that I pre-ordered months back. Apparently a delay it seems.

Hehe...let's shop till we drop guyss..!!!

Weekend food ..

As you guys can probably tell from now..me and Aries loves going in search of new food every weekend..

We went to One Utama on Saturday. I tell you, I have not been to One Utama for a while.. and when I went there with Aries last weekend, I remember why.

First of all, the place is too big. and then the shops are simply everywhere. There is no proper order or categorization at all. Wouldn't it be nice if all the food outlets were put into one area? And then the furnishings, and then baby stuff, and the sport stuff, and then the hypermarkets..and then the department stores and then shoe shops..and stuff.

Katalah kalau kita nak beli kasut tp kita jenis suka survey,,nak round sume kedai kasut baru decide nak beli mana satu..you can never do that in OU sebab..kedai kasut bersepah sepah..susah nak cari from one to the next...sheeshh ...malas la nak pergi situ for another couple of years..(yes I actually do mean the 'couple' of years part).

Anyways, complaints aside, me and Aries tried out some peranakan food for lunch. It was at a restaurant called the "Peranakan Place". I wish I could tell you where it is..but we got lost..so I can't really. Anyways..food pics below:-

This is the dried shrimp sambal (appetizer) - delicious!!

The fish fillet masak lemak peranakan style - I don't eat fish but loved the gravy. Thick and flavourful!!

Our drinks, I had a coke because I knew fruit juices would not go well with the taste-heavy food. But Aries dgn beraninya order some lemongrass soda (eeekkk!)

Aries' favourite dish - Some assam prawn (its sorta masam manis)

My fav dish - cencalok omellete (the taste of cencalok was subtle and not overpowering)

Kangkung belacan (it was ok)

We bought some DVD's and ended up watching:-

(i) Merantau (it was ok);

(ii) The Treasure Hunter (Aries said it was crap, I sorta defended the movie but secretly agreed); and

(iii) Ninja Assassin (Rain was super duper hot- yum yum)

Celebrated Aries birthday the next - just small nucleus family gathering with simple food. No pics.. hehe

Until the next update!!

P.S Masniey - hope the dentist thing went ok (I feel your pain dude..)

Kursus ..kursus

Hehe..tajuk post ni mcm ntah hape hape..

Inilah penangan kursus IL*KAP to me.

Assignment Aries bwk balik berduyun...HAhahaha..

Seriously lawak... and it reinforces my belief that I was right to turn down my job interview with the A*GC Chambers time tu..because tgk apa yg Aries lalui skrang..I know I would not have been able to stomach it..

(i) Politics;

(ii) Kes colleague buruk-burukkan kita sebab nak ampu bos;

(iii) Kes dpt bos emo yg hantar sms yg tak masuk dek akal;

(iv) Politics again..

(v) Gaji ciput nak m*m*us;

(vi) Bonus setahun feels like an insult..rasa mcm nak ckp..ko simpanjela RMx00 yg ko kononnya nak bg tuh..gila tak berbaloi dgn kerja byk mcm nak mati; and

(v) Politics.. (mestila kan)

Ntahla..bukanla nak mintak gaji tinggi melambung or bonus yg melampau banyak..tapi yg berbaloi dgn keje yg dibuat la kan.. this I think..memang is lacking in gov punya aspek. Yang tak tahan, akan blah.. and these are usually the ultra talented ones..who knows what they are worth..and how the gov. is not treating them the way they should.

The ones that stay and dapat naik atas cepat is siapa lagik...kalo bukan 'anak' org besar tu or 'related' to this big shot god knows who..

Hearing these stories yg berlaku..makes me nauseous...I know these double standards exist in the private sector as well, but I am thankful that I have always been judged by the work that I produce (bad or good) instead of who my father or mother or uncle or auntie or grandma of grandpa is..

Mcmmana dgn org mcm me and Aries yg bukan anak org 'besar' ni? Ntahlah..we fight to survive, but if we win..at least we know that we deserve whatever rewards we reap. Itu yg penting..

Apsal merepek malam/pagi buta ni? Ntahla..rasa nak get this out of my system..all this crap annoys me.

Ok, the ramblings are over on this issue..for the time being..

Today, 1 year ago

Dearest Airiel,

Mama dedicates this post to you. Mama hopes that one day you will read this and realise how loved you were at the time Mama wrote this.

Today, 1 year ago, you came out of Mama's tummy.

That was how you looked like... when Mama saw you..all the pain Mama felt went away. Mama fell in love with you at first sight. The love Mama felt was beyond words, beyond description.. you just took Mama's breath away.

After the 10 days that Abah spent with us, he returned to JB and it was just you and me...Mama was not recovering that well. It was difficult for Mama to do anything but when Mama looked at you, Mama felt like Mama could touch the sky and get everything done and Mama did...for you with your help.

Since then, so many ups and downs we have endured, just you and Mama. The 3 week period where you refused to sleep at all when you were 3 months old, the first time you smiled at Mama. The first time you kissed Mama. The first time you called out "Mama", your first step, your first giggle..is immortalised forever in Mama's heart.

Mama is sorry for having to leave you everyday to go to work. It breaks Mama's heart to see you look at Mama and cry. It is something Mama is doing to make your life comfortable because Mama loves you so much.

You are walking now and you are growing up so fast. Mama cannot believe that you are 1 year old today. Mama feels so blessed, so thankful that you are present in Mama's life.

Know that Mama cannot imagine life without you. Know that this love will never fade.

Thank you so much dearest Airiel...

Love always,

Mama

Infidelity

Just read this article about Sandra Bullock and her husband : -http://omg.yahoo.com/news/jesse-james-apologizes-to-sandra-bullock-following-infidelity-rumor/37681?nc

And I can think of only one thing to say : -

"This is typical MEN behaviour"

I mean, just when you begin to have a good thing going for you, some stability in your life..you just have to go and ruin it..!!!

It makes no sense to me as to why...

Male readers out there - please explain why???

Disclaimer - Ini tak ada kaitan dengan yang hidup atau yang mati ok?

Adhesion Colic

Sejak bersalin using c-sect ni..

I have had abdominal pain or somethin glike that..and memang sakit gila ok..rasa mcm nak matilaa..

Apparently I have been diagnosed with this..

Adhesion Colic
Adhesion colic is a form of chronic pain arising from movement of parts of the intestines which have partially “stuck” together, due to scar tissues that form as the body heals after an operation in the abdomen. It may occur after a relatively simple operation like an appendectomy, or after more major surgery like removal of the uterus or part of the intestine. People who have adhesion colic that is severe and recurrent often also have nervous systems that are over sensitive, resulting in pain from even normal bowel movements. In most cases, the attacks of colic are short lived; however, some may be very severe and prolonged and may be associated with other problems like vomiting. If the vomiting is persistant and there is constipation and swelling of the abdomen, you may need to see your doctor to make sure that you do not have intestinal obstruction. However in most cases, the attacks of colic are not dangerous and will subside after a while.

Many people with adhesion colic learn how to manage episodes of colic using non-drug techniques. However, in some people their pain levels may be very high and attacks may occur very often. In these cases, treatment with strong pain killers may be necessary – these include morphine-like drugs like tramadol, morphine and methadone which should be taken orally on a regular basis in order to prevent attacks of colic. Going for injections of pain killers only when there is strong pain is usually not a good idea as this is a short term solution for a chronic problem; with time, you will require higher doses of the pain medication, and you may find yourself going for injections more frequently.

Aduhai..kalau Tuhan nak uji tuh..memang diujiNya sungguh..

Sakitnye tak terkira..

Sabar..Sabar

Anyways my sis who is a doc told me that recent medical studies have shown that Gamat Healing and the likes actually contributes to this adhesion colic stuff.

Sigh

Nak zuriat punya pasal..Nasib baik yang keluar comey ...

Ehehek..

Rasa bersalah

Tadi macam telah menyebabkan Aries lewat bertolak ke ILKAP

Reason : Tak dapek bangun awal kejutkan dia. Terbabas..

Sekarang : Dia tak dapek masuk kelas.. kena nak tunggu masuk kelas petang..

Oh No..will he get into trouble?

Ngok betulla kursus gomen ini..

I am so full of rasa bersalah..

Sigh

The weekend

I suppose by the looks of my previous posts, I was in so much doubt as to whether I should continue my postings, and I thank the hoards of private e-mails by readers encouraging me to continue this passion of mine. Thank you for the concern, readers.

I would have to state that from now on however, being frank about certain things.. in my marriage, particularly is no longer an option. I would have to respect the wishes of my husband, whom I have always referred to fondly as 'Aries' here who sometimes find my frankness disturbing..disrespectful to him at times.. and honestly, I think he is right.

And so, in my effort to being a better wife (sbb nak masuk syurga), I shall respect his wishes. Enough said about that.

My weekeed trappings below:-

Burned a few hundreds on 'Flora' by Gucci for me and the new scent by Hugo Boss for Aries

Stopped by Bubba Gump Shrimp for lunch

Aries senyum menggoda

Was playing hide and seek with Aries hehe

Undeniably the best dish of the meal, Cajun Shrimp. Flavours were intense and lovely and the shrimp was super juicy and not overcooked

Aries dish - Nothing to shout about really

Funny signs used to call the waiter, tacky but cute..

Our drinks, again ..nothing to shout about

Bucket of condiments

My dish which I absolutely hated - New Orleans shrimp

I would only come back for the 'Cajun Shrimp' and nothing else..really.

On a seperate but very important note, this coming Saturday, a year ago..Airiel was born. Yes, he will be 1 year old.

Nothing special, nice quiet makan makan with familia, I do not believe in throwing big parties for kids who are not old enough to appreciate it.

If I can stomach a special post on that special day to my angel on this blog without crying my eyes out.. I will do so.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Caught in the middle

This blog is really like my diary..

Sometimes I write really inappropriate things in this diary of mine..like how I am upset with Aries and all that..and rasa macam tak patut melukakan hati suami.

But I am an extreme, its either I write about everything, the good and the bad..or nothing at all.

I don't know.

I really don't know what to do anymore.

Anyhow ..just came back from a shopping spree, will blog about it later.

Atas nama cinta

Atas nama cinta,

I will stop writing. Forever perhaps.

Its time for me to get myself a diary.

Time will tell.

Bye guys.

Hope you are tougher than I am..

Susah hati

Memang selama ini niat nak jenguk Isda selepas pemergian anaknya..tapi tak pernah berkesempatan. Namun jauh di sudut hati, sentiasa terdetik untuk meminta kepada Tuhan agar dipertemukan.

And I met her in POJ today. She had a matter in FC and I had a CM in COA.

I did not know how to react when I first bumped into her, so being silly me, I just acted normal. When she started talking about her late son, I started crying my eyes out kat koridor COA, bongok kan? Tapi being a mother, lately anything to do with children, hati ini sgt mudah tersentuh.

I admire her strength, and she talks about it, so perhaps that help. I know that she posesses a strength that I do not possess myself. Semoga Tuhan terus memberi kekuatan itu kepadamu Diar. As for me, sekadar mendengar sahaja pun sudah terasa airmata bergenangan.

In the midst of the piles of work waiting for me, got a call which shattered me to the core. I cannot divulge the contents, tp hati sgt sedih menerima berita ini. May God also give strength to Airiel's Bonda.

In the midst of all this, I realised how very lucky I am to have what I have and to be where I am. And for that..Alhamdulillah, syukur.

Bz bee

This month of March akan penuh dgn ke'bz'an yang teramat sgt.

This week alone, I have a 3 COA submissions to finish and finalise.

Witness statements to finalise for 2 trials in April.

Waduh..tak menang tangan nak buat semua.

March is also a month of blessings and miracles.

Atuk to Airiel has turned 55. Healthy, happy and as loving as ever, that is my father.

Airiel was born on 20.03.2009, and he is turning 1 soon.

Aries was also born on 30.03.1982.

March is also the first month since Airiel was conceived almost 2 years ago, where Aries will be quite near us. He will be in Bangi for 3 weeks for a slew of courses. Though I feel sorry for him hehe, I am thankful that he is within arms reach. Tapi, tak sure lah dia boleh blaik menjenguk kami. Maybe dia akan busy, so sekali sekala je. So near and yet so far away..sigh. But still thankful I am for he is not 500 km away.

Alhamdulillah..terima kasih Tuhan.

*smile*

Kelly..oh my Kelly

Kelly refers to my beloved orange Kelisa..which I have driven for the longest of time..since my early chambering days..

Tak pernah rosak..takde problem..I really love her.

Tapi since dah nak habis bayar krete ni.. and since Nenda kepada Airiel suka sgt Kelly, was thinking of giving Kelly to her, and perhaps finding a more suitable car for me.

Have sort of narrowed it down to these choices: -

Toyota Yaris

Mini Cooper, pretty ...but its only a 2 door car..

VW Beetle - again a pretty car but a 2 door as well

Suzuki Swift - small, compact and price pun mcm ok. Aries prefers this car

Last but not least..Honda Jazz

I know nothing beats economical value like my Kelly (seminggu minyak RM50 je tau!!!) but what I want is essentially a car yang kalo pergi outstation utk keje, tak rugi claim..you know what I mean?

Whaddya think friends? Any suggestions or recommendations are welcome.

Maulidur Rasul weekend

It was such a fun long weekend..!

First of all, Salam Maulidur Rasul buat semua...

Well to kick things off, despite me buying Aries plane tickets for him to come back to KL and to go back to JB, Aries missed his flight from JB to KL. (So clumsy :-P)

Anyways, he had to take a bus pulak..so sampai dalam kul 3 pagi kat KL.

On Maulidur Rasul day, played with little Airiel until about 1 p.m. and then when he fell asleep..we went the Curve, jenjalan sesama suami isteri..hehe.

Went to watch the W0lfman..Aries fell asleep halfway, I was not too impressed either.

After that..late lunch for us, so we stopped by the Garden and had our food..yummies..pics galore below:-

What nice ambiance!

Aries impatiently goyang kaki waiting for food..

Our drinks, Aries had Earl Grey tea and I have a green apple soda..refreshing!

Aries' standard appetizer - the icky oysters

My Appetizer - wild mushroom soup..yyumss!

My main course, some sirloin steak with shitake mushrooms under it! yum yum yum!

Aries' seafood pasta..he said it was good..

Tapi sgt malang for us, time nak byr..there was some malfunction to the machine, so we had to wait for quite a while..last last..bayar guna invois manual..and the waiter had the cheek to expect a generous tip! Biar betul..

Anyways..on Saturday..we went to Mid Valley pulak..watched the Book of Eli...finally..something worth watching! I loved it!

Had some vietnamese food for lunch tapi no pics..it was it Co Do, at the third floor..while hubby enjoyed his dish, I did not enjoy my Pho, it was to bland.

Anyways, on Sunday teman my mum pergi pameran Kraf kat Jalan Conlay, after we dropped her off, we had a quick lunch at Pavillion, our fav fast food restaurant, Nando's.

After coming home and playing with lil Airiel, it was time to drop off Aries at the airport..

lil Airiel in his football jersey! - 11 months

Boy, does time fly...I'm looking forward to this weekend and the weeks ahead, Aries will be in Bangi..for kursus..this is the closest he has been to us in years! Haha

Have a good week ahead everyone!